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Topic: My sister has breast cancer

Forum: High Risk for Breast Cancer — Due to family history, genetics, or other factors.

Posted on: Feb 29, 2008 08:21AM

LOCX wrote:

My only sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2008 and all I feel is fear.  There isn't a minute in the day where I am not worrying about her, what she is eating or whether she is stressing about something, (which I  don't want her to do). I have never felt this powerless before and just wish that there was something I could do that would make her better.

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Feb 29, 2008 08:33AM 4darmstrong wrote:

Your sister needs you to be strong right now.  It's okay to worry.  Try not to let her see that though.  I have three sisters, one has been an angel, she brought me some supplements to make sure I was getting all my vitamins and nutrients while I was taking chemo.  Another has taken me to chemo several times.  The third let me live in her house 2 months while ours was being rebuilt. Our house burned after my first treatment.  Now is when you need to pull together as a family.  It's okay to be scared.  I can promise you that your sister is scared.  I am not afraid of dying but I am terrified of being sick and disabled by surgeries and treatments.  Talk to your sister.  Let her know you are worried but will be there for her.  Pray for your sister. 

Sandra Dx 10/11/2007, IBC, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 29, 2008 11:11AM - edited Feb 29, 2008 11:13AM by Marian

LOCX,  my sisters told me about their fear also!  I didn't know they loved me this much until they found out that I was dx'ed with cancer.  It was sad and lovely at the same time!  We told each other we of our love all the time but the desperation of that time in their voices reaffirmed that the love was deep and that they were wounded too! 

From the perspective of the one with cancer you have already done something - you love her and you will (or have) told her and that makes the dx easier somehow!  When I became aware of how many people wanted me safe (intelletually I already knew that but it was important to hear it at that time) decisions that I needed to make became clearer.  Also if you want to do something else take care of yourself because that was what was going through my brain - that they (my family) take care of themselves any way they can to avoid this same dx.

Best

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Feb 29, 2008 11:42AM leaf wrote:

I am just finding out with a friend who was recently diagnosed with a very serious cancer ( almost certainly terminal, not breast cancer) that some people do NOT want to talk about how they are feeling.

I think its important for them to know they are loved. However, if I did it again, I would be more careful about asking about feelings. We are ALL DIFFERENT.

I think it is important to listen, and takes cues what they want. It can be a delicate, difficult thing. I have heard of several other people who chose not to express their feelings throughout the entire process.

I know if I was in my friend's shoes, I would want to talk about how I feel, or express it in some way, but some people don't want to do that.

Just wanted to post my lesson in the last 2 weeks.

Classic LCIS.If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them- Isaac Asimov Dx 12/8/2005, LCIS, ER+/PR- Surgery 1/24/2006 Lumpectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 7/15/2006 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)

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