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Am I doing this right

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hpyardley
hpyardley Member Posts: 3
edited November 2022 in Just Diagnosed

I just got the call that I have cancer, but I don't think full pathology results from the biopsy (Wednesday) are in. Nothing is on MyChart yet. My primary care doctor gave me the number for an oncologist and a surgical practice. She said to take the first available for both. I have an appointment for an oncologist on Tuesday (happy it's so soon!). Should I let the oncologist direct me to a surgeon? Or just call the number the doctor gave me? I haven't told my family yet and would like more info before I do, but I may just tell them it's early stage and I have an appointment to find out more Tuesday. I kind of knew this was coming given my imaging report said BIRADS-5, but it still has me reeling.

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  • serendipity09
    serendipity09 Member Posts: 769
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    Hpyardley - I'm sorry you have found yourself here!

    My honest opinion is to meet with your oncologist first and ask him/her about the surgeon. If they give you the name of a different surgeon then you always have the name and number of another surgeon in the event you want to get a second opinion.

    I hope that everything goes well for you on Tuesday.

  • hpyardley
    hpyardley Member Posts: 3
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    Thank you!

  • kristifromsandiego
    kristifromsandiego Member Posts: 15
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    You are doing everything right. So glad you got in to see an oncologist so early. Usually the oncologist and the surgeon work together and there is no reason you can't meet with more than one before you chose your doctors. This is a great site for comradery and information. Just remember everyone's diagnosis is different and our bodies reaction to everything (Medications etc.) is different. Telling family is so difficult, but is important to your mental health. The diagnostic time you are in right now is the most difficult and things will get better when you develop "your plan". I've been through surgery, chemo and radiation and this site helped educate me so that I could tolerate everything. I too am so sorry that you have joined the club.......my heart goes out to you. Kristi

  • melbo
    melbo Member Posts: 266
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    sorry that you find yourself here — it’s a terrible place to be. These are truly the worst days as you start learning the vocabulary and have to wait and wait between steps. It does get easier as you go along though, especially once you figure out your treatment plan.

    Just keep reminding yourself that breast cancer is very treatable, especially when caught early. It will be awful and scary, but just keep reminding yourself of that.


    as for doctors — take the first appointments you can so you can figure out the treatment plan. As for treatment itself, you won’t know the plan until you know the full picture of the characteristics of your cancer and what stage you are. Surgery is almost certain, radiation and hormone therapy are common. Chemo will depend, but isn’t guaranteed. This forum can be a great comfort. Good luck and keep us posted

  • parakeetsrule
    parakeetsrule Member Posts: 605
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    If it helps, I told the two members of my family who had had breast cancer themselves right away, because I knew they would understand. They knew how it all works. If you don't have any family or friends who have been through it, waiting to tell until you have more information can be good, because you're going to get a bunch of questions you can't answer yet.

    That said, you know your people. If you need support, reach out to someone who you know will simply support you and not pressure you for information or bombard you with stuff you don't need.

    Since you have the weekend to think about it, consider taking someone with you to your oncology appointment. Especially if you have someone who knows the breast cancer lingo. The first appointment can be overwhelming so they can help keep track of what the doctor says, and they will know things to ask you may not know you need to ask.

    This sucks. I hope you get a plan soon!

  • boysmom19
    boysmom19 Member Posts: 11
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    Hello - I am sorry about your diagnosis but you have found a great place for support. The unknown is scary, others are right that once you know what you are dealing with and have a plan it will be less scary. Melbo is correct that early stage BC is very treatable, knowing that helps tremendously.

    As others have indicated there is no “one size” fits all plan - it varies for each of us based on diagnosis, risk factors, etc. For myself, I found having facts and information settled me. A friend gave me a book - Dr.Susan Love’s Breast Book - and I read it cover to cover the first weekend. It really helped me get familiar with all the terms, etc. and also helped me formulate questions to ask the doctors. I highly recommend this book.

    I had never seen so many doctors in my life as I did the first weeks after diagnosis but it was worth the time. I sought several opinions and met with all the doctors on the team - surgeon, oncologist, radiation oncologist and plastic surgeon before finalizing my plan. Even doing all that I was able to have surgery within a month of diagnosis.


    I chose to wait to tell my family until after meeting with a surgeon.

    Good luck going forward.

  • boysmom19
    boysmom19 Member Posts: 11
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    Hello - I am sorry about your diagnosis but you have found a great place for support. The unknown is scary, others are right that once you know what you are dealing with and have a plan it will be less scary. Melbo is correct that early stage BC is very treatable, knowing that helps tremendously.

    As others have indicated there is no “one size” fits all plan - it varies for each of us based on diagnosis, risk factors, etc. For myself, I found having facts and information settled me. A friend gave me a book - Dr.Susan Love’s Breast Book - and I read it cover to cover the first weekend. It really helped me get familiar with all the terms, etc. and also helped me formulate questions to ask the doctors. I highly recommend this book.

    I had never seen so many doctors in my life as I did the first weeks after diagnosis but it was worth the time. I sought several opinions and met with all the doctors on the team - surgeon, oncologist, radiation oncologist and plastic surgeon before finalizing my plan. Even doing all that I was able to have surgery within a month of diagnosis.


    I chose to wait to tell my family until after meeting with a surgeon.

    Good luck going forward.

  • boysmom19
    boysmom19 Member Posts: 11
    Options

    Hello - I am sorry about your diagnosis but you have found a great place for support. The unknown is scary, others are right that once you know what you are dealing with and have a plan it will be less scary. Melbo is correct that early stage BC is very treatable, knowing that helps tremendously.

    As others have indicated there is no “one size" fits all plan - it varies for each of us based on diagnosis, risk factors, etc. For myself, I found having facts and information settled me. A friend gave me a book - Dr.Susan Love's Breast Book - and I read it cover to cover the first weekend. It really helped me get familiar with all the terms, etc. and also helped me formulate questions to ask the doctors. I highly recommend this book.

    I had never seen so many doctors in my life as I did the first weeks after diagnosis but it was worth the time. I sought several opinions and met with all the doctors on the team - surgeon, oncologist, radiation oncologist and plastic surgeon before finalizing my plan. Even doing all that I was able to have surgery within a month of diagnosis.


    I chose to wait to tell my family until after meeting with a surgeon.

    Good luck going forward.

  • hpyardley
    hpyardley Member Posts: 3
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    Thanks everyone! Yesterday I met my oncologist and for unknown reasons, today is the day I finally started having emotions about all this! 5 days after getting confirmation it is cancer. Mostly anxiety that things are going "slowly." I read some responses to posts about waiting and felt better. This site and all the people on it are so helpful. I was able to make an MRI appointment and an appointment with a surgeon so it feels like things are moving. In reality I know it is better not to rush and to have all the information we can get before deciding on a treatment plan. I would love it if my brain/body would get on board with that knowledge and destress a little. My family took all this surprisingly well.

    My tumor is grade 3 and the cancer is IDC and triple negative so that's not the greatest news, but the oncologist called me young (41!) and I am generally very healthy and most importantly I had a clear mammo and ultrasound last August. So I'm trying to be very optimistic.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,696
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    Best wishes and keeping positive is a good thing. There are so many options on treatment right now and you need to feel comfortable with your medical team and communicate well with them and they will help answer questions about what they see the best way to see you through this. When you go to do surgery there are often boards for people having surgery that month which can be helpful as well to meet others going through it at the same time you are.