Dec 10, 2019 01:22PM Lexica wrote:

I'm so sorry, Mallory. I remember the first time I wanted to tell my mom something after she passed (this was before cell phones) and it was wanting to show her my high school graduation gown when I got it (she died three months before my graduation). It rips your heart out all over again when you realize that you'll never do such a small thing as 'tell your mom about it' again. Believe me though when I say that moms leave lasting impressions, and she will be with you always in whatever you do, and know she is proud of you.

Dec 10, 2019 02:59PM Magari wrote:

Mallory, I too am so sorry about your mom. I lost my mother very suddenly, and cried just about every day for months afterwards; I just missed her so much.

I found myself a wonderful grief counselor/therapist, who supported me through the months that followed, and helped me find strength and happiness in my life, even though my mom was gone.

I also did things to honor my memories of her - went to the ballet, which we used to do together, hung the special ornaments she gave me on the tree, etc. Bittersweet, definitely. But ways to keep her with me, especially while I was still mourning.

Wear something she gave you on your graduation day. She will be with you in spirit, and you both can be proud of your accomplishments, which she no doubt helped you to achieve. Be happy, as that was probably what she wanted most for you.

Dec 17, 2019 08:31PM divinemrsm wrote:

Mallory, yes, your mom's passing happened so fast. Of course you are still hurting. The grief you feel for your mom is love expressing itself in a different form. Realistically, you will be working through a big part of your grief for the next three-ish years, and in some ways, the loss will always be there. Surprisingly, tho, you will move forward with your life. You will live a good life in her honor. Right now, you need the time to reflect, adjust, mourn, reassess and embrace all the many feelings you are and will be experiencing. Your life is forever changed. I get that.

I was 39 when my mom passed away. I hadn't experienced that deep of a loss before. I really didn't know what to do. What helped was a good book on life after loss that I got from the library. It walked me through many steps of grief and helped me understand more of what I was feeling and why. That was over 20 years ago, so there are more current books on the subject. I encourage you to find a book to read to help you through the many parts of grief and grieving. Don't just find short little articles on the internet. A book goes deeper and unfolds in a way that is more effective than brief stories or 20 minute TED talks.

One more recent book I liked was “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy” by Sheryl Sandburg (of Facebook fame). Her husband died unexpectedly. She's written a thorough book on dealing with many of life's difficulties, and you might find her insights beneficial. I recommend it, but the main thing is find a book that really speaks to you.

You have my best wishes. It really sucks that your mom is gone before your graduation. Your pain and grief are raw and understandable. Your mom would not expect you to be strong during this time of loss. Eventually, you will find your way back to being strong, but don’t put that pressure on yourself when you are grieving. Be kind and caring to yourself. It’s okay to do that. We are here for you in spirit. Many hugs.