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Looking for all of your tips/tricks/wisdom please!

cm2020
cm2020 Member Posts: 530
edited April 2021 in Working on Your Fitness

Since radiation ended in early July I have been in a major slump. I already needed (and was trying) to lose weight. Yet here I am, going for my RO follow up tomorrow morning, hanging my head in shame, having gained 10 pounds. My motivation, determination, and drive have peaced out. With every pound gained and every day that passes I am slipping further into a deep funk. I want to stress that I am not depressed (having been there, I know what it feels and looks like for me). I just feel stuck. There is part of me that just wants to keep wallowing, but I can't, and don't really want to. I want to feel good and strong. I want to be strong and healthy.

So I am hoping for some wisdom and support. In theory I know all the "right" things to do. But!!!! Since being in menopause the weight, if it comes off at all, comes so slowly that I lose my desire to even keep trying. There must be something I am missing.

Here is what I am hoping you can give me: what works for you (for reference I am vegan and attempting whole food plant based) food wise in losing weight, what exercise you love to do, what has gotten you out of this kind of mood. Any encouragement you may have and any other words of wisdom.

Edit: it can't be stressed enough......HOW do you lose weight post menopausal?? It hasn't even been a year since my last period (hormone testing is the only reason i know i am post menopause) and this is killing me to not be able to lose!

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Comments

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293

    For me it's fitness pal (or another calorie tracking app). You simply cannot outrun your fork. It's just not possible - except for some super fit young males with huge metabolism; that's not us postmeno women, so calorie restriction is required.

    I'm vegan, pretty lax about whole foods though. I just count my calories, use the kitchen scale to be sure of portions and pay attn to what foods really satisfy. Once you lose about 5lb, if you want/need to lose more you have to adjust your daily calories down again. Sucks, but the reward for losing is eating less :/

  • mountainmia
    mountainmia Member Posts: 857

    My weight has always been very stable, but since menopause it goes up much more easily than it goes down. More than 2 months ago I started time-restricted eating, aka intermittent fasting. The primary goal is to manage my glucose/insulin and reduce my risk of a recurrence. But a side benefit I expected was weight loss. I have lost a whole 4 pounds in about 10 weeks. Yay me. I am not eating A LOT less, but I am eating less. So like moth said, to drop more, I'll need to eat less and/or move more.

    The slump is especially hard to overcome this year, since covid restricts all kinds of activity. We ARE stuck.

    Maybe your best bet is to focus on your primary goal: "I want to feel good and strong. I want to be strong and healthy." Maybe the weight isn't the thing that's most important right now. You want to feel strong. So what can you do to enhance that? Walking outside more often, using dumbbells, stretching on the floor each morning as you get your bearings for the day...

    Pre-covid, I was going to the gym about 3 times a week. Having the routine, the plan, made it easy to do. I think success lies in having a routine. So maybe think about how you can make routine changes, things you don't need to think about and don't need mythical "willpower" to enact.

    Good luck.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,044

    I too was going to the gym 3x a week pre-covid. Now I am walking every day. I hate mornings, but I'm in Houston and it's often over 90 degrees before 7am. So I set my clock, roll out of bed, lace on my shoes and hit the street. Yesterday was day # 140 of walking 3-1/2 to 4 BRISK miles every single morning - rain or shine.

    Also I've been eating only one meal a day, and one piece of protein (like a hard boiled egg or cold chicken breast) or instant breakfast after my walk. And I rarely have any bread in the house. Each slice of bread adds at least 1/2 a pound.

    I miss the stretching and am probably less limber, but I've lost 12 pounds and it's stayed off.

    The other good thing about walking is it honestly helps to improve my mood.

  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 3,696

    yay! Minus! 12 lbs..!!!


    i was placed in menopause thanks to Lupron injections. I have been in a perpetual state of simmering..ever since. That's over 10 years... so, what works? Walking. A lot. I have walking pals in the morning, as well as late in the day...and when it is too hot to walk, I listen to whatever I fancy on my phone and walk in my house. Six miles every.single.day. I wear a cooling scarf. It also helps. A lot


    and...i treat myself gently. I never beat myself up. Wrinkles? So what? Gray hair? So what? The tush? So what? I wake up, I get vertical. It's a good day.


    Yesterday, I broke my wrist. Same hand that I recently had 2 surgeries on. Just got out of a cast and now I am back in a cast. One of my walking buddies asked, yesterday, does this Mean you aren't going to walk? Hell no! Skipped walking yesterday evening. Today? Back in the saddle...


    treat yourself gently and listen carefully to your heart and mind. You will find your step...

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,689

    We were walking a lot outside but with fires the air quality is so bad not an option for a bit. So we do inside walking in place even and down the hall even to get our steps in to at least get some exercise every day. I know PBS also has sit and be classes they air all the time here. You may want to check your local stations. Worth a shot at least.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,546

    I've used an app called Fat Secret. It's a calorie counting app and works with my phone as well as my computer. I'm 5'3" (ish) and in 2010, about 2 years after my first diagnosis, my weight crept up to 146. That was the heaviest I have ever been. I was able to lose 23 pounds by seriously recording everything I put in my mouth. I "budgeted" for my nightly glass of wine. It took me about five months, but I stuck with it and the weight came off.

    I was "complaining" to my MO at my last appointment about the weight that is starting to creep back up (from around 120 to 127) and that I didn't want to keep gaining weight. I'm now 62 and back in treatment for Stage IV, but I still don't want to gain weight. She told me that calorie counting was what worked for her. She looks slim to me, but it was nice she didn't just blow me off and tell me not to worry about it.

    Find what works for you. Be kind to yourself. :)

  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    Thank you all SO much!!!!!!!! I am very appreciative of all of your advice and help. Those of you who have been successful at both losing and maintaining your weight are my inspiration. I will be taking all of your advice and hope to not only lose weight but get myself out of this overall crappy slump.

    MinusTwo.....I have been interested in trying one meal a day (i have already been IF). What is an example of a meal you eat? I have been trying to figure out what I would eat that would be reasonable and good.

    voraciousreader.....I love your user name! I am so sorry about your wrist. But I adore your attitude and outlook. You have some wonderful advice that I will take.

    Again.....thank you all. Each response means the world to me. I have learned from each of one them.


  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,044

    VR - OH NO!!! Not again. So sorry about the wrist. Have you been on osteoporosis drugs? I do take a Prolia shot every 6 months but still worry about broken bones.

    CM - I don't think you'll want to mimic my meals. They are truly crazy. Because I live alone, I don't have to worry about cooking for anyone else - or pleasing anyone else for that matter. Also whenever I cook at least 1/2 goes in the freezer and usually 1/4 in the fridge for later that week. For example - a rotisserie chicken is usually 4-5 meals. And luckily - I truly like leftovers. During active treatment, I did drink an Instant Breakfast every day with extra protein powder. Now... Maybe 2 nights a week I have a protein - like salad w/chicken or baby shrimp, or a chicken breast or pork loin slices or a piece of salmon. The rest of the time I try to focus on veggies & salads. Often I cook fried rice with veggies & whatever is in the fridge. Sometimes I have a spinach salad and a bowl of water melon. Today I had two hard boiled eggs and for supper will have 2 corn on the cob. I'm thinking tomorrow will be cottage cheese with canned peaches. Oops - I have some leftover tomatoes so it will be cottage cheese with tomatoes. And a Nothing Bundt Cake - white chocolate & raspberry bundtlette. One night I had spinach & artichoke cream cheese dip w/crackers and a cucumber. Sometimes I have rice krispies with a banana and a piece of toast. Or lime jello whipped with pineapple & cashew nuts & cottage cheese. Occasionally English muffins with peanut butter. I eat a fair amount of beans & lentils and I love pasta - especially with just with butter. Cheese enchiladas are coming up courtesy of a member in Washington, DC. The meals are usually quite small & I don't try eat all the food groups every meal. But over several days time, I get all them all taken care of. As you can see - truly eclectic.


  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    MinusTwo.....Those meals don't sound odd to me at all! I like eclectic eating. This does give me some good ideas and it also shows me that the things I had in mind will actually work quite well. Thank you.

  • WC3
    WC3 Member Posts: 658

    cm2020:

    I really just like to walk. I used to have some difficulty doing so so walking gives me a sense of freedom and accomplishment. It's easy. You just put one foot in front of the other, so I can zone out...at least as much as it is safe to do so, and I can explorer new places. I found a cherry tree a few weeks ago.

    A few years ago, I also enjoyed the double cable cross machine at the gym. I did punches and used that exercise to get my aggressions out.


  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    WC3...Thank you. You are right, walking is fantastic. It has been so darn hot here that even the thought of walking outside is miserable. However, with any hope, autumn is coming, and then I will definitely make it a point to get out and walk daily.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,044

    cm2020 - Monday was day # 150 of my walking program. I do 3-1/2 to 4-1/2 miles every day. Yup - it's like walking in a steam bath in Houston. Usually over mid 80s even if I start at 6:30am. And Yup - I HATE mornings. But I've stuck to it. I only missed 3 days for doc appointments and I made those up by walking 6 miles the day before & after.

    Positive points - I lost 12 lbs, I'm able to go to sleep more easily at night, and my LDL cholesterol is down 25 points. So I'll persevere.

  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 3,696

    Wow! Minus! That's fabulous. When I walk in the heat, I wear a Frogg Togg scarf. It really works better than most other cooling scarves. Hope you are also hydrating. I hate walking with a bottle so I drink before and afterwards. i also wear a wet cap. I know. I look ridiculous...


    https://www.amazon.com/Frogg-Toggs-Chilly-Cooling-Towel/dp/B002NGSB96/ref=asc_df_B002NGSB96/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=198102692146&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4205872587429185042&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1022987&hvtargid=pla-382248202541&psc=1

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,044

    Hey VR - I too drink before & afterwards. Thanks for the Frogg recommend. I'll definitely have to look into those.

  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    MinusTwo.....that is an amazing accomplishment! 150 days of walking!! 12 pounds!!! Improved cholesterol!!! You are incredible! I am really impressed and appreciate the words of wisdom.

    voraciousreader....Thanks for the link. I haven't heard of that before. Who cares how you look! You are doing something good for yourself and I think you rock!


  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 46,830

    I have a fitbit so I can track my steps, exercise, weight, calories.......everything. The ONLY way I can lose weight is to log my food. With the fitbit ap, I can choose how much I want to lose, how quickly I want to lose it etc. I like that the more I move, the more I can eat. And if I go over the calories, it tells me how much more I have to move to get back into the zone. Tonight I need to burn 152 more calories to get back into my range.

    If you want some exercise and/or weight loss buddies; check out these two threads on this forum: Lets Post Our Daily Exercise and Wednesday Weigh In.

  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 900

    cm2020 - middle age, menopause, cancer takes toll, especially all at once. Lifestyle andall it encompasses is critical. It sounds like you are on track with nutrition/diet. Stay hydrated, water is best and stay away from sugar including "alternative sugar" and artificial sweetner. Exercise. If you are new to it, start slow, not with a marathon. And do not kick yourself. Stretching is important. Tracking/logging what I eat , activity helps me, even if I am not consistent. Setting goals also helps With Covid, it might be very hard to find gyms/classes, I have really enjoy the YMCA. The YMCA has a Livestrong program that another cancer survivor highly recommended to me. THe program looked really good, I just was not willing to share the health information / treatment etc. If there is not a YMCA near you, maybe they can recommend something like Livestrong https://www.livestrong.org/ymca-search#:~:text=assists those who are living,decreases in cancer-related fatigue. I recommend the book "Anti-Cancer Living - Transform your LIfe and Health with a Mix of Six" by LOrenzo Cohan and Alison Jeffries (2018).

  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    ruthbru...thank you for telling me what works for you and for the threads. I have started posting in the Wed weigh in but need to start posting in the exercise one for both accountability and inspiration.

    BlueGirlRedState...Thanks for the recommendations. Oh my gosh you are so right about middle age, menopause, and cancer.......and they have all really hit me at once. It hasn't even been a year since my last period and I only know I am in menopause because of hormone levels. I can't take tamoxifen due to my chronic hive medication, so my MO had hormone levels drawn in the hopes I was in menopause. I am. Until this year I could make my body do what I wanted it (lose weight) fairly easily if I put my mind to it. Now......I am not in charge nearly as much I would like to me. I am vigilant about my water intake (and it is all I ever drink). I am awful about exercise and go through period of both doing it regularly and not doing it at all. I was doing good until radiation. Now I am going to get back to it.


  • scotbird
    scotbird Member Posts: 592

    Hi cm2020 I am in your camp and on your side. I have a tendency to put on weight and to be heavier than I would like to be because I have a fundamentally poor “relationship with food”. I know that I eat not just for physiological reasons, but for emotional reasons as well. I’m going to try to be more mindful about my habits and I’ll commit to posting here every day for the rest of this year, both to support you and to keep myself on track. Today is Thursday, so I’ll talk about what I ate yesterday. It was a pretty good day, I did not eat lunch, because I was not hungry at lunch lime, but I did eat too many sweet things: some chocolate, an ice cream and a cereal bar to be precise. I will try to do better than that today. I’ve recently had surgery (a hip replacement) so I really can’t do any exercise for the next few weeks. I’m also trying to wean myself off codeine, so that will be giving me extra emotional strain for the next few days. Together I know we can improve

  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    Scotbird.....Gosh we sound so much alike. Our relationship with food is virtually identical. It is so frustrating isn't it? It means a lot to me that you shared your story and that you are willing to join me and us work together towards a better relationship with food. How are you feeling since your hip replacement? Weaning of codeine is hard, be gentle with yourself, and take extra good care of yourself as you heal.

    As I posted on the exercise thread, I didn't sleep last night and woke up so dizzy and have been all day. I didn't eat until lunch and had some saltine crackers, dry corn flakes cereal, and peanut butter....all that was over a couple hours and nothing since. I am not hungry and just feel horrible. I am so hoping I sleep well tonight and feel better tomorrow.

    I will also commit to posting here daily. We will work together to improve our eating and end this crappy year on a high note with our food and exercise! Thank you so so so much!

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 46,830

    Something that can help with both movement AND diet is: a Fitbit (or some other device). Wearing my Fitbit makes me get my steps in, and you can also log your food, track your weight etc. The good thing about that if you want to lose weight, is that you can decide how much you want to lose and how fast you want to lose it. If you log your food and go over, it will tell you how many calories you need to burn to get back in the weight loss zone. Very helpful.

    The other thing I want to mention is that it takes 6 weeks to ingrain a habit; so if you can commit to a exercise program for 6 weeks, you will find that it has become part of your life.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,044

    Ruth. Thanks for the 6 weeks tip. I've been walking every morning for 6 months now. When I don't walk because I have a doctor's appointment or there's a hurricane - I really feel at loose ends.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 46,830

    Good, that means you are hooked! ThumbsUp

  • scotbird
    scotbird Member Posts: 592

    I had a good day yesterday. I am not able to move around much as I’m 2 weeks post hip surgery, so am mostly in bed or on the sofa. I had taken Codeine daily for around 2 years pre-surgery and decided to stop taking it on Tuesday. Codeine is supposed to be quite addictive and so I am going to be very kind to myself for the next 3 weeks while I complete the withdrawal. I had Bran flakes and fruit for breakfast, baked potato and salad for lunch and for supper I had sour dough toast with avocado on top. Unfortunately it was so delicious that after I had eaten it, I went back and ate another 4 slices of sourdough and then ate quite a lot of chocolate. That is quite a typical thing for me to do. I have decided that I am going to set myself a challenge that when I eat chocolate, I will limit myself to 2 squares every fifteen minutes. Ruth I can’t imagine having a Fitbit, the thought of it makes me feel stressed, I’m not sure why

  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    ruthbru..Thank you for the advice. I love the 6 weeks to ingrain a habit. That means if I start now, by the end of the year I can have some solid healthy habits established, and end this very hard/difficult/crappy year on a high note!


  • scotbird
    scotbird Member Posts: 592

    Great attitude cm2020. I had a good day yesterday. I had bran flakes for breakfast, with fresh raspberries. This breakfast keeps me from hunger all morning. For lunch I went out to a cafe; it was my first time eating outside of my own house since mid March. I am extremely risk averse when it comes to COVID, but had a friend visiting Glasgow from London, and she asked me to meet her. We are not allowed to meet people inside our houses, so I went. I had a really nice lunch, including cheesecake for desert, which was delicious. I did not feel hungry when I got home, so I skipped dinner, and in the evening I ate just 2 squares of cholcolate. My husband always buys enormous bars of chocolate, and I really struggle not to eat too much of it. So I have set myself a rule that when I eat chocolate, I must limit it to 2 squares every 15 mins, maximum. This worked yesterday, because after 15 mins I was not craving any more chocolate. I’m over 3 days into my Codeine withdrawal now. I am feeling quite anxious, and had a blazing row with my daughter over absolutely nothing because I am so irritable, but am confident that the worst is now over and I’m on the right track.

  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 900

    Scotbird, finding out what motivates you to do the right thing, eat the right thing is key. Several people have told me how much they love their "FitBit", but to me, it sounds like another invasion of privacy, so I have not gone that route. I love walking/hiking and do lots of that. Seems like I always see something new. My dog demands walks as well. Looking forward to x-county skiing, dog loves that. Swimming is good, I don't really like it, but do get into it periodically. Good for those arms. I track what I eat, what I do for activity. I oscillate between being fanatical about tracking food/activity to making vague references to what I eat. I do better if I am just a little less than fanactical, but still tracking. Having sweetie bring home giant chocolate bars is not good. He might think he is being nice, it is hard to resist when it is staring at you. Abstinence has never worked for me, so I try to find a middle ground. But it is a struggle. The "treat of a small scoop of ice cream seems to be getting bigger, or maybe the bowl is getting smaller.

  • scotbird
    scotbird Member Posts: 592

    Yesterday was another good day for me. I am now 5 days into my codeine withdrawal, and am starting to feel as though a fog is lifting. I was much less irritable yesterday, and I apologised to my daughter for my rant the previous day. She was very understanding My digestive system is also working much better and I feel lighter (will weigh in on Wednesday to see whether this is really true). I did eat some chocolate yesterday, but stuck to the 2 squares per 15 mins rule, which worked. For long term weight management, I don’t want to give myself too many rules, but just to change my habits in small ways. I have ordered a delivery from the Supermarket which will arrive tonight. I had a craving for cream cakes when I was ordering, and am looking forward to some arriving - what a treat. Sticking to my bran flakes for breakfast, means that I eat much less at lunch/dinner.

  • scotbird
    scotbird Member Posts: 592

    I had an OK day yesterday. Was feeling as though everything in my life is moving in a good direction. My grocery shopping arrived Aat 9pmand unfortunately after eating 2 cream cakes, I proceeded to eat half a packet of cookies. Probably 10-12 in total. No idea why I did that. It was around midnight and Inwas tired. Maybe I will extend my 15 minute rule to cookies as well as chocolate. And maybe try to have an earlier bedtime so Indon’t sneak around eating in the night.

  • cm2020
    cm2020 Member Posts: 530

    ScotBird.............My weekend food wasn't good. I can really relate to the food issues you have. We seem to be quite similar. I have learned there are certain foods I just can't have in the house. Remember to be kind to yourself, you are recovering from major surgery, and getting off pain meds isn't easy. It sounds like you have some good strategies and modifying them as needed is a good idea. If I am tired I always eat worse and never have the resolve to say no. It is just how I am.

    I have my food planned for the day and am ready to tackle the day!