Join Us

We are 216,716 members in 84 forums discussing 160,161 topics.

Help with Abbreviations

Topic: Open Letter

Forum: Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment —

This is a place to discuss concerns, tips and strategies for all types of side effects from all types of medications and treatments, (chemo/rads/hormonal/targeted/pain meds/etc.

Posted on: Feb 25, 2013 07:38PM

Colt45 wrote:

I am a husband/ caregiver...

I didn't know where this should be posted---and since my wife is going through treatment now, I just picked here.

I have lurked since my wife's diagnosis and have been posting only for a few days. I can recognize a sisterhood when I see one. An army of kind souls.

I am humbled by your humanity. Your grace. Your power.

My wife says she's just doing what she has to when I tell her I'm proud of her. But she's doing more than enduring treatment for self serving means. She's doing it with a grace that doesn't frighten our 2 small, sensitive girls. THAT is strength. I see my wife comforting our 4 year old over something trivial (the kind of thing only 4 year olds think is apocalyptic) and I see a women of strength and beauty the likes of which I cannot imagine life without.

I read your posts and I see my wife or sister or mom. I see a beautiful woman who is power and grace and humanity.

I read accounts of people letting you down or failing to support you.

It breaks my heart to think that you aren't being held or hugged or listened to to the degree that you deserve or more importantly NEED.

You are beautiful. Worthy of love and support and someone is missing out on YOU. It's not your fault. People with a heart and a soul and a brain are inspired by you. Touched by you... whether you think you deserve it or not.

People in pain don't reach out like you do to comfort others. You ask very little. You deliver day after day for others. And you think you aren't worthy of praise or wonderment or fanfare. You are wrong.

You are to be cherished and held and loved. And even on days when someone in your physical environment doesn't seem to be doing quite enough of this, you are being cherished and held and loved from afar by someone you have touched----even if quite by accident.

Know this to be true.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Page 2 of 7 (209 results)

Posts 31 - 60 (209 total)

Log in to post a reply

Apr 3, 2013 02:48PM Colt45 wrote:

You bet. Glad you read it.

Bless you.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Apr 6, 2013 10:14PM Colt45 wrote:

Bless you to april485 and anyone else I missed.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Apr 6, 2013 10:35PM - edited Apr 6, 2013 10:35PM by Galsal

What an amazing open letter.  Thank you and Blessings for your Wife and Family.



Dx 12/14/2011, ILC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/10/2012 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 10/6/2012 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 12/13/2012 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/16/2013 Aromasin (exemestane)
Log in to post a reply

Apr 24, 2013 05:31PM - edited Apr 24, 2013 06:13PM by Colt45

@Galsal: Very kind of you. Bless you, too and may you have continued good health.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Apr 25, 2013 03:28PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Apr 25, 2013 04:07PM - edited Apr 25, 2013 04:07PM by DocBabs

I don't know how I missed this wonderful post but I'm so happy to have found it now. Simply beautiful.

Barbara

DocBabs Dx 4/28/2011, IDC, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/13/2011 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 5/13/2011 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 7/15/2011 Aromasin (exemestane)
Log in to post a reply

Apr 27, 2013 09:36AM Colt45 wrote:

@DocBabs:

I'm glad you found it. It gets lost sometimes, so I bump it frequently.

Bless you.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

May 9, 2013 10:59AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

May 9, 2013 09:14PM miss-marsha wrote:

Hey Colt45!

YOU are awesome! Glad to know theres more guys like mine out there! God bless you and your family!

                                                                                                 Marsha

Dx 7/31/2012, IDC, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 8/7/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 9/16/2012 Breast Hormonal Therapy 10/31/2012
Log in to post a reply

May 10, 2013 06:15PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

May 11, 2013 02:39PM FLJoyce wrote:

This is the first time I'm writing and I came across your very touching letter. It is easy for me to see that you love your wife with all your heart.  It really brought tears to my eyes.  It reminded me of my own husband who gave me all the love & support I needed when I went through losing both breasts to Cancer. My surgeries were when I was 54 and 58 years old.  I'm now 75 years old. My husband was always there for me when I needed him most and I was always there for him when he needed me.  I was his Primary Caregiver for 10 years he inspired me when I needed it most, as your wife needs you to do now. If I had to do it all over again ,I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I have so many wonderful memories of him! Helping each other added many years to our lives.  Though  we had hard times, it brought us even closer together,You remind me of my darling husband of blessed memory. Your wife may not realize it but she is really a very lucky woman and so was I that we both were so  lucky in love, but she is very lucky & very blessed.  Very few women ar as lucky as we both are.  I am sure she will survive only to get stronger and help others just as I am doing. It makes me feel like my life is worthwhile. If I can ease one person's fear of the unknown & ease their pain.  Tell her often how much you love her.  You are her best medicine.                                              

Log in to post a reply

May 11, 2013 05:31PM - edited May 11, 2013 07:26PM by Colt45

@FLJoyce: Thank you. You DID just make me feel better. Your husband was a lucky man as am I.

God bless you.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

May 19, 2013 05:17PM Michele2013 wrote:

Bump

Stage 1 Thyroid Cancer. Chemo induced cardiomyopathy, now have a defibrillator. Dx 10/29/2012, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/28/2012 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 4/29/2013
Log in to post a reply

May 24, 2013 11:15AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

May 24, 2013 11:44AM Bren-2007 wrote:

Colt45 ... thanks for bumping up your note.  It meant a lot to me.

hugs,

Bren

Log in to post a reply

Jun 4, 2013 06:27PM Colt45 wrote:

@Bren & Michele: God bless.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Jun 20, 2013 08:08PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 8, 2013 09:33AM Michele2013 wrote:

Bump

Stage 1 Thyroid Cancer. Chemo induced cardiomyopathy, now have a defibrillator. Dx 10/29/2012, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/28/2012 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 4/29/2013
Log in to post a reply

Jul 10, 2013 12:21PM - edited Jul 10, 2013 12:25PM by Colt45

I like to Bump this up frequently. My heart is still with all of you. When I read any of you, I see my wife. She is amazing and is doing well.

God bless all of you beautiful, amazing women. May your recovery be complete.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 10, 2013 12:25PM BayouBabe wrote:

Colt45 - thank you for bumping this again. I read it for the first time the other day and it really touched me. Would you be ok with me sharing this with my support group? Some of the women there would benefit from it greatly!

BRCA1+, IDC
Log in to post a reply

Jul 10, 2013 12:31PM Colt45 wrote:

@BayouBabe:
PLEASE DO share it with anyone who could benefit!!!



Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 10, 2013 12:36PM BayouBabe wrote:

Thank you! Wishing continued healing for you and your wife!

BRCA1+, IDC
Log in to post a reply

Jul 10, 2013 12:50PM Colt45 wrote:

@BayouBabe:
God bless you.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 24, 2013 01:05PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Aug 2, 2013 04:18PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Aug 3, 2013 11:55AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Aug 7, 2013 10:06AM - edited Aug 7, 2013 10:09AM by RealityCheck

Colt45, I noticed your replies in another forum earlier, I believe it was "Lost Interest" and I must say Kudos to you for your support of your wife and the other women on this site!

My husband is like you. I saw him cry after I was diagnosed. He took my hand and we walked out of the surgeons office together and he just held on until we got to our vehicle, then he pulled me in and gave me the most amazing hug. Very surprising as my hubby is a very manly man! LOL Cleaning, cooking, laundry, working...he did it all after my Bilaterial Mastectomy surgery. Has gone with me to each and every doctor appointment, has watched the plastic surgeon add saline to my tissue expanders and comforted me when the pressure of skin stretching was difficult at best. Being with me at my first chemotherapy infusion, holding my hand, encouraging me to breathe deep when the I.V. needle was placed in my arm, then my hand 3 times before finding a good vein, encouraging me to drink lots of water to expel the chemo faster out of my body, snuggling with me at night, laughing with me as I run my fingers through my hair and hair falling out, shaving my head as he was the only one I could trust to do it when it was time, helping me out of the shower when I  was too tired to dry off after getting clean, gettting my 8 oz of water with salt and baking soda to rinse with when sores showed up in my mouth, buying me any and all foods that sounded good to me when I didn't feel like eating, buying me the cutest little hat to go with my wig or to wear alone, picking out scarves with me for headwraps, planning our trip to either Baltimore or New Orleans when it's time for nipple tattoos because only Vinnie Myers is allowed to touch my new breasts besides my husband and plastic surgeon, telling me constantly I am the most beautiful woman in the world to him, always have been and always will be.  He tells me I am handling all of this with grace and perserverance, I tell him I'm handling all of this because of him being strong for both of us right now.

He has been there for me, as I have been there for him the last 29 years. Mostly him for me LOL

I cannot express enough to him how much I love him. There just aren't any words but we both know our love for each other and nothing will stop us from conquering whatever comes into our path. We will hold hands and walk through it, around it, over it or under it. Together!

Our secret? Commuication, Touching and telling each other several times a day "I Love You".

Dx 5/28/2013, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, 1/16 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 6/5/2013 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 7/18/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Chemotherapy 8/8/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Chemotherapy 8/29/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Chemotherapy 9/19/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 9/29/2013 Hormonal Therapy
Log in to post a reply

Aug 7, 2013 06:26PM Colt45 wrote:

@RealityCheck:

You are blessed to have your supports in place.

You love your husband like I love my wife. You understand.

Everyone here deserves that love and support. I always think of you ladies as someone's daughter.

I have 2 young, sweet, innocent daughters. There is nothing more beautiful than a daughter.

God bless all of you.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Aug 13, 2013 10:02AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Aug 18, 2013 02:58PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)

Page 2 of 7 (209 results)