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May 13, 2018 01:53PM
This is cut and pasted from a previous reply I made in this thread. I wanted to share it with you because I hear what you’re saying about the struggles with your husband and I might understand what he is trying to deal with at least on some level (though I do not pretend to know precisely what anyone else is going through). Anyway, here goes:
“I bump this post every so often in case it gets buried.
I think we men are just scared. We're scared for you because we love you and we're scared for us because we need you.
We don't always show how we feel. I dunno. Maybe sometimes we can't. Can't because we aren't good at it. Can't because we're afraid to try....because it might cause us to just fall apart.
I suspect that some men are barely keeping it together and can't really get themselves to stare this in the face-----not because we don't believe you'll be okay... but because even the thought that something dares to threaten you is too much to bear. It's not something we can fix. In many, many cases you'll be fine despite this. But it just exposes us to our utter lack of power in this instance and that frightens and angers us.
What is left is merely to hold, hug and support. And I pray we all get better at that for no other reason than you need us to.
We love you. Our means of delivering that message is often clumsy and inadequate-----but if there was some machine you could hook up to us that showed the burning desire we have that everything gets better for you-----you'd see our that our hearts are beating FOR you. They always have. Always will.
I pray you all get that needed warmth.
You amazing, beautiful people deserve it.
Love to you all.”
God bless you in your recovery as you move on to better times.
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)