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Topic: Can't believe this is happening

Forum: Waiting for Test Results —

For members not diagnosed with breast cancer, but waiting for test results:  Biopsy, mammogram, ultrasound, or other screening tests. Waiting is VERY difficult but remember...

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength." -- Corrie Ten Boom

Posted on: Dec 23, 2019 08:43PM

Joyfull2b wrote:

Hi everyone. I am so glad to have found this forum as I am in the middle of a new nightmare.

So two weeks ago I had my yearly mammo . Unfortunately it had been two years since the last. I got called from my dr that my breasts were very dense and I needed an US. Ok. Anxiety begins increasing. So I have the US exactly 5 days later. Two days later (today) I get a call that I now need an MRI. They have found a 12mm something and they don't know if it's a mass or dense tissue.

I am scheduled for the MRI one week from today. My Christmas is ruined and I am barely holding it together for the sake of my family. I am so scared and I can't even wrap my head around the "what if". This is so new. I don't know if 12mm is huge, not so big, or really not good odds . If it is the "c" word, will I be here next year, will it progress so quickly that I won't have time to prepare my loved ones??

I know no one is a doctor here, but I'm just wanting to hear from others who have been where I am, and what you did to prepare yourself and calm yourself until the answers come in.

Thank you in advance . I hope I'm making sense


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Jan 9, 2020 09:11PM Kron007 wrote:

I had my 2nd opinion today at the cancer center. She told me my case was complicated due to the discrepancies in the reports (mammogram/US/MRI). She said their report was not quite finished, but went on to explain the dr reviewed them and did not find any abnormalities in the mammogram/US and they could not find the spot that was pointed out in the MRI, but did see maybe something in a different location. So they are recommending a new MRI at their facility if my insurance will cover it. It’s my understanding it was done so poorly it’s just usable so insurance may cover it, but if they don’t we will do another in 6 months when they will cover it. So I walked out of there feeling great! But because there seems to be a twist at every step in this process, they called me later to say the dr conferred with another dr and they think I need to redo the US because of the calcification in the left breast that was seen on the mammogram/US at 3:00 and could be the area that has now been seen at 6,7, and 8:00. While I am so happy I choose to go here specifically because I knew they were specialists and will do their due diligence, this roller coaster is not one I want to ride. So here’s to getting some better imaging!

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Jan 10, 2020 11:49AM Joyfull2b wrote:

That is great news, Kron! I have been doing a lot of reading on the incredible amount of false-positives these tests throw out, causing incredible anxiety for the patient! Hopefully this better imaging will get you off the nightmare ride! Please keep us posted! Encouraging news is ALWAYS helpful and gives hope to everyone!!
Treat yourself to something special as you have crossed one hurdle already!! :)

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Jan 10, 2020 09:49PM Bejeweled wrote:

Joyfull2b,

I just wanted to say that I am sorry for the anxiety you are feeling. It's truly a stressful time. Even if the statistics are good, even if the reality of the situation isn't as awful as our minds make it, ultimately you feel however you feel and you can't always control that. It sounds like you are at least coming to the end of the worst part of the waiting and will get that biopsy done and over with. Hopefully after the biopsy, the wait for the results will be short (my core biopsy was on a Friday morning, and they called me with the results on Tuesday afternoon a few days later). In the meantime, I wish you some peace and distraction in the next few days.

Kron,

That is such a roller coaster - I am so glad you seem to be in a better place now and will be able to get better imaging! I think it sounds like this new provider is going to be very cautious and diligent about getting you the quality answers your deserve.


Hugs to you both!

Dx 8/27/2019, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 10/28/2019 Lumpectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Chemotherapy 12/4/2019 AC + T (Taxol) Targeted Therapy 1/29/2020 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Radiation Therapy 5/13/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy
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Jan 13, 2020 12:33PM Joyfull2b wrote:

Thank you all for the encouragement during this painful waiting game. Tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. is my biopsy. I'm not necessarily worried about the procedure -I have a very high pain tolerance- but I AM going to go insane after Waiting on that call.
So that being said, without trying to be a pessimist and expecting the worst out-come, how would anyone here recommend I DO prepare myself for the answer that I am dreading? What were your initial feelings when you got that call and the dr gave the bad news.I guess I'm just wondering if something in you kicks in and you just go in to survival mode- wanting to do what you have to?

Sorry. I know this probably seems trite to others who are really going through the c battle. Like I said, I'm just really trying to get my mind to a place where if I do get bad news, that I won't be unable to cope or think logically. My mind is incredibly strong & I don't feel like it has my best interests at heart sometimes! Lol. Also I have family members that are making me really nervous. I know they're trying hard to be helpful and supportive, but hearing of them fasting for me and having different prayer groups going is making this all seem like I am being prepared for a bad out come. Thanks you guys for listening.

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Jan 13, 2020 03:26PM keepthefaith wrote:

Joyful, this is not trite at all. The waiting is truly the worst. My gut told me it was BC....and the fact that I had asked the Radiologist what the odds were and he said with a rather grim face, "50/50". So, even though I "knew", it was still hard to process and it does take a while to wrap your mind around it. I don't know that you can really "prepare" yourself, but try not to waste today worrying about tomorrow. I know that is easier said than done. Find a mantra that is positive and easy to remember, to keep telling yourself when your mind goes to dark places.

I go the call while my (adult) son was at my house, the day before he was going on his honeymoon. When I saw it was the DR's office, I went into my bathroom for the call and came back as if nothing had happened. My son didn't have a clue. I told him after he got home from his honeymoon. I think through the whole process, you learn that you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I told no-one until I knew of the DX. When you are in treatment, you change your attitude to be a "warrior" more than a victim. You feel empowered, in a way, that you are doing what you can to beat the beast, once you have a plan and start treatment.

Try to stay busy during the wait and if you need sleep aids or anxiety meds, that's okay. I hope your results are B9 and you get them soon!! Best wishes.

Dx 9/17/2013, IDC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/17/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 12/2/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Chemotherapy 12/25/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Chemotherapy 1/15/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Chemotherapy 2/10/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 3/31/2014 Breast Hormonal Therapy 5/22/2014
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Jan 13, 2020 04:26PM Joyfull2b wrote:

Thank you for taking the time to reply, Keepingfaith. I agree with you on the sleeping aides as I haven't had a good nights rest since before Christmas Eve when this all started. I guess another hurdle I am dreading is telling my children. Reading how strong all of you are is giving me hope and courage!!

Thank you again :)



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Jan 13, 2020 08:22PM Bejeweled wrote:

Joyful,

I would perhaps ask the radiologist what the average waiting time is to get the results in his/her experience, so you have an idea of what to expect. Sometimes knowing that you wont get the info for, say, 5 days - may make days 1-4 a little easier because you won't be waiting for the call.

One thing that helped me during that waiting time was that I reminded myself that even if the news was that it was cancer, it wasn't a death sentence, that I could handle it, that it seemed to have been caught early, that the odds were in my favor, etc. I just tried to plan for the worst, but in a positive way. It still was a shock when I got the news, but I already had the positive affirmations built up on my head and I called on them to replace my runaway thoughts.

I hope the biopsy is quick and easy - and will be praying for a benign result.


Dx 8/27/2019, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 10/28/2019 Lumpectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Chemotherapy 12/4/2019 AC + T (Taxol) Targeted Therapy 1/29/2020 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Radiation Therapy 5/13/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy
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Jan 13, 2020 08:23PM Kron007 wrote:

Good luck to you! I too like to be prepared for any possible outcome. I hope it comes back fine. I had my follow up ultrasound this morning and am getting a biopsy as well.

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Jan 13, 2020 08:50PM thecargirl wrote:

Dearest Joyful,

We have all been through this! I looked at finding my tumor a blessing it was caught at an early stage 1. It is still cancer but I am happy we have good care out there. It has been over 3 years for me, so far so good.

Susan

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Jan 16, 2020 12:47AM Hotwing7 wrote:

Just to let you both know I'm thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for a benign result xx

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Jan 16, 2020 08:43AM Joyfull2b wrote:

Thank you, hotwing . Very sweet of you. Biopsy was Tuesday , so hopefully by tomorrow I will hear something (BIG GULP) My stomach is in knots and my mouth is constantly dry.

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Jan 16, 2020 05:51PM - edited Jan 16, 2020 05:52PM by thisiknow

Joyfull2b ... it's a little different to find someone afraid of their family prayer group ("but hearing of them fasting for me and having different prayer groups going is making this all seem like I am being prepared for a bad out come.") but if I were you I would ask one of those family members to please explain to you what they believe about both prayer and fasting. As far as I know, neither is much to be feared. And I would think their intentions are good. Do you know anything about their religion? I just think you'd be more comfortable knowing more about what your family is trying to do as far as helping you with prayer and fasting. Ignorance is not bliss in this regard and I think you just need some enlightenment from them. Best wishes.

Age 72 @dx - Oncotype 4 & 15 Dx 7/14/2019, DCIS/IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 9/10/2019 Lumpectomy: Left, Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 10/28/2019 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/18/2019 Arimidex (anastrozole)

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