Waiting for the biopsy results.

Oh windwalker, I am so sorry that your biopsy came back with IDC. I wish that there is comfort word to ease your fear about the whole breast cancer. One advice that has been offered to me and others from this forum when we were diagnosed was “You just have to be there, one step at a time, one foot in front of the the other”, I myself found it helped many times when my mind started wandering with the dark thought and all “what ifs”. One other thing that also helped is to connect with people who also face BC in person or from this forum (chances are someone you knew also had this - after all 1 in 8 women have been diagnosed with breast cancer), read their testimony, listen and reach out if needed.

I sincerely wish your IDC does not need any chemo, and you can get the mastectomy done soon. Take care of yourself and your mental health is the best way to cope with whatever unknowns life throwing to you

So sorry you have to go through this, but you've come to a place where you can feel your feelings, get support, ask questions and just connect with others who have gone through it.

Wishing you all the best!

Windwalker, I had a biopsy on Tues, was told I will get results on Friday. I have zero fear of cancer. Why? Because I was diagnosed in 2003 with IDC, and in 2018, same breast, I was diagnosed with ILC.

I had two children in college in 2003. I saw both graduate from college, get married and have 4 adorable grandchildren. I was terrified but I survived! I had 2 lumpectomies in 2003, mastectomy in 2018. The point is I SURVIVED!!!!! Most of us do! You will too! Try to relax, you are no where near the point of concern about not getting to see your child graduate fromcollege. As others have said, take one day at a time.

My feeling is that whatever my biopsy reveals, I will deal with it. Not knowing IS the hardest part! I am hopeful my biopsy is benign, but if it isn’t, I have a wonderful breast surgeon and an oncologist I trust. I will get through this. You will too!

Sending you a big cyber hug! Hang in there!

windwalker,

It absolutely is overwhelming! I truly had no idea how many variables and variations there were with bc. Take a lot of deep breaths and try to digest it in small bites. I was an elementary school teacher, now retired, at the time of my dx. At Back to School Night, ten days into the new school year, I had to announce to the parents that I would be taking a medical leave and was not sure when I would return. I was gone for 3 1/2 months and was fortunate to have hadtwo good subs. Your situation is quite different but I hope that you put yourself first. Take care

you do wants right for you because in the long run that is what’s right for your work place.

I will say this. If lumpectomy is on the table it is normally a shorter recovery time from surgery and depending on your distance to travel for radiation it is possible for some to continue to work during it (depending your ability to get an appointment that works with your schedule).

But that doesn’t make it the best choice for you If you make choices based on your employers needs alone, you can end up stressed out, overwhelmed, going back to work before you are ready and that gives them a warm body but not a functioning employee. That doesn’t help anyone.

Sometimes it’s hard to put ourselves first but this is one of those times that really you should, I’m not saying don’t take your employment into account, just don’t put yourself in second place

Windwalker27, I am a high school math teacher who was working online during my treatment. I had a lumpectomy and did not have chemo due to my Oncotype DX score, but I had all treatment including radiation 100 miles from my home and was able to teach my classes with very few missed days since it did not matter where I was (laptop, PowerPoints and portable whiteboard did it all.) There was no way my district could replace me (still 2 math teachers short at school and a huge sub shortage,) so I was dealing with the guilt that you are feeling now.

I know that in person education is the current emphasis, but I'm sure your college has the online platforms built in and the students are now experts at navigating them. You probably have the courses you are teaching this semester set up for online delivery if you taught them during the early pandemic. Also, this might allow you to team teach with some of your colleagues. You could do what you want or are able to do and have co-workers partially cover for you. It's probably very difficult to replace you at this date so, while not ideal, your employer would probably go along with this.

You certainly need to put your health first and consider what your treatment will be before making a decision, but this is something else you could consider.

Best wishes for a favorable pathology report!

I just wanted to say about your surgeon in 2019, that it was pretty despicable what he did and my mind is blown in response. No idea what his rational would be for that since double mastectomies have been done for quite some time in response to breast cancer in only one breast. I just had one myself in fact. Are you in the US?

I went to a well known, highly respected cancer hospital (not sure if I am allowed to name it on this website) in Philadelphia PA. I had my biopsy Nov 2018, surgery was first week in Jan 2019) I was devastated at my surgeon’s response. Looking back, I should have gone for another opinion, but at the time I was in shock. I never in a million years thought that I would get breast cancer again! Afterwards I had emotional issues for about a year. I was so angry and I told the surgeon how I felt. He stopped practicing shortly after that, not due to it but because he became interim Dean of the medical school. Not long after that he was given the Dean position! I finally just let go of it because I could not change what happened and it was hurting me emotionally. Letting go was exactly what I needed! A few months later I was surprised to read that he passed away!

I can’t deal with the past now, I just want to focus on moving forward. I think things might get more difficult than I initially thought. I see my new surgeon at my local hospital on Tuesday. My surgeon told me before I even had my recent mammogram that he would have recommended a double mastectomy for me in 2019!

Mavericksmom, you are exactly right that you can only move ahead and if my words caused you pain I am so sorry. It just surprised me and I hurt for you. May your DCIS be dealt with swiftly and may it be the last time cancer rears it's ugly head with you.

Windwalker, a double mastectomy is preferable than getting one mastectomy at a time. Less recovery time. Honestly mine has been pretty uneventful. Off prescription pain medication four days in, felt pretty normal a week out, and mobility was never really affected although I've been careful. Now four weeks out I'm just working on stretching so everything loosens up. I expect my reconstruction early next year to be a much more complicated process. You can do it at the same time but the plastic surgeon couldn't get me in during the time frame I was comfortable with so I just went ahead with the double mastectomy. As far as monitoring one thing that will be nice is that they don't really. At least not with scans. Not enough breast tissue left. You are expected to do breast self exams as will your doctor. And they'll monitor you by blood work and I assume full body scans at least for the first few years. The rate probably depends on your stage. Personally I'm of the opinion that the less scans the better especially regarding the scans with radiation exposure. They're stressful and I hate them. Sure I want to catch anything bad early but my new breasts will be much easier to monitor than my old ones (I had very large, dense natural breasts and am looking forward to fatty, uncomplicated small ones) so I expect that if something goes wrong there it'll be fairly easy to catch. And as far as distant spread, if I don't have symptoms I don't want to know about it. Just my preference though but I won't try to convince my oncologist in regards to that argument that more is better if they don't think so. Anyway good luck with your August 9th appointment. I hope you get the answers you need and feel at peace with your decision.

Kaynotrealname, Your words did not cause me pain! I thought I was over blaming the doctor I had for refusing to allow me to have a double mastectomy when I requested one. Maybe it is because it is nighttime and things always feel worse at night, but the fact is I should NOT have to go through any of this now! My surgery was less than three years ago! Unless I am just not thinking clearly, my breast had cancer in it when I had surgery to remove my other breast, it just wasn't detected!

I have severe lymphedema in my left arm, now I fear having it in my right arm as well. I guess I will have to wait to hear what my surgeon says next week. I just feel so sad. I am worried about my husband, my family. I can't believe I am facing this a third time! I don't want to feel that anger again, but I am feeling anger tonight. I can't sleep. I am way past retirement age, and this could cause me problems with my employer. I hope tomorrow I feel more positive, but right now, I don't. I am definitely going to have to find some emotional support.

Thanks, Maggie and Iw422, ! I didn't sleep much at all last night, but I know my doctor I have now will come up with the best plan forward for me. It is hard to trust after being lied to by a doctor, but I wouldn't want to be judged because of what someone else did, so I am putting my trust in my new breast surgeon. I am very glad I got to meet him and form an opinion prior to my mammogram. I walked out of his office knowing I was in good hands, while being completely unaware of the breast cancer inside me.

Breast cancer is as much about our mind as it is about our breasts! It definitely is an emotional roller coaster!

I am so sorry you have to go through this a third time, too. It's not fair. But cancer never is. But it sounds like you have a great surgeon who will listen to you and maybe you won't even have to have any more lymph nodes taken out. After all it's DCIS, stage 0. And I had a double mastectomy. Maybe I was lucky but it's been a pretty easy recovery. Emotionally I don't struggle with missing my breasts. I struggle with not knowing whether this damn thing will sneak back. But we all do and we'll deal with it as it comes. Hopefully this weekend will bring you some peace as you begin to wrap your head around this yet again.

Windwalker, your molecular profile is the best one to have if, unfortunately, you have one. I hope your appointment with the surgeon goes well.