Every once in a while I'll read about somebody forgetting her cancerversary and writing about it belatedly. They usually say something like, "yikes it was last month and I forgot all about it." I always thought this was the ultimate mature cool thing, indisputable evidence of a thoroughly healthy psyche. Me, on the other hand, have the date of November 25th scorched on my hippocampus. I start counting down in August and make sure I post here about it around November 20th on the 15 year thread. And usually I get together with several girlfriends, mix up a large watering can of Knock You Naked Magaritas, and get toasted. I can't forget. So I thought.
Welp, this year my cancerversary was the day before Thanksgiving. I did the unthinkable and just got busy with cooking. I do sorta feel a bit cooler, a bit more healed. More of a grown-up. I've always obsessed about my breast cancer, but have found it is just another layer in the onion that is me. No point in trying to stop obsessing. That layer is well entrenched. I seem to function ok on top of that layer, having laid down a few more over it. But still, I might qualify as a neurotic wonder. 18 years and I still feel bc sneaking back up on me.
Do you worry about worrying?
Or, does your anniversary slide by, unnoticed?
Sometimes I wonder if I am an old soul temporarily trapped in a breast cancer body.
11/22/2002, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
1/20/2003 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
6/14/2003 Breast, Lymph nodes
8/23/2003 Femara (letrozole)
Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap
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