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Topic: not a good day today.

Forum: DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ) — Just diagnosed, in treatment, or finished treatment for DCIS.

Posted on: Jun 7, 2018 05:01PM

Whome08 wrote:

I think I was just totally overwhelmed today. Waiting on a second pathology report.. There was some suspicious tissue found after my MRI. That is due back tomorrow. It is the end of the school year and I have high school graduation around the corner. Haven't shared my diagnosis today except with a friend and a few family members. Worried DCIS will be upgraded and possibly lymph nodes.

Little things have set me off today and cried most of the day.. Being tired from not being able to sleep doesn't help. Wish I felt like my old self and not as defective as I feel now.

Surgery is set for the end of the month, which feels like an eternity. I know my prognosis is excellent from what I was told. But just like everyone else, my head goes to the worst case scenario.

Sorry if I am rambling. Just so much is going on right now.

Dx 5/16/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 7, 2018 05:43PM vampeyes wrote:

{HUGS}

I am sorry that you are here with us, but there is lots of support on this forum. For sleep try melatonin, it may help. Take it when you are ready for bed. The waiting is the worst with this "disease". I will be thinking of you and positive thoughts for good pathology results as it sounds like you caught this early.

Cheryl

Diagnosed at 41. Avatar made me smile thought I would share the smile. Dx 9/20/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/18/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 11/15/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 1/29/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/1/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 7, 2018 06:23PM Nursepatient35 wrote:

I'm so sorry you are going through this. The point of diagnosis to surgery is such a scary time. It will get better though. Just give yourself time to accept everything going on. I was diagnosed with DCIS in January and went through a bilateral mastectomy in February and exchange surgery in April. I feel like all that is in the past now and life can move on. You just have to get through these crappy months and it will pass for you too. One regret I have is that I didn't ask for something like Ativan sooner. I thought I'd tough it out but I was depressed, didn't sleep and was so stressed out. Ask for something to get you through this first stage of waiting. There's no reason to suffer through it. Keeping you in my prayers that everything comes out good for you.

Dx 1/9/2018, DCIS, Left, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+ Surgery 2/14/2018 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 4/25/2018 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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Jun 7, 2018 07:16PM Georgia1 wrote:

I'm so sorry. For sure this is the worst part; every day seems to be an eternity. From your previous post I see you were planning on lumpectomy, yes? So if that was your path, and your doctor didn't say anything about swollen nodes, I think you can hold onto the odds of lymph node involvement being low. And while I totally get that a "downgrade" to IDC would be a bummer, your treatment plan might be much the same. (And yes, this is what passes for "good news" in BC world. ;)

And sheesh, I resonate with your word "defective." One minute we're fine and boom, the next minute every darn day is spent talking about medical procedures. Hope you can focus on something fun, and do let us know how we can help.

Cancer touched my breast so I kicked its ass. Dx 9/3/2017, ILC/IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 10/10/2017, LCIS, Right, 0/1 nodes Surgery 10/10/2017 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 11/27/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 1/2/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 8, 2018 12:41AM - edited Jun 8, 2018 12:43AM by Meow13

Whome, I had a suspicious area that caused the tumor board to take lumpectomy off the table. So the pathology after mx showed the suspicious area was normal tissue. Remember MRIs do have a reputation for false positives. Hope you don't have any invasion but if you do it might be very minimal.

It is so easy to get overwhelmed I found talking to other BC surivors was my only way to feel better. We are here for you.

My prognosis was good not excellent and here I am 7 years later no cancer.

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Jun 8, 2018 07:08AM Whome08 wrote:

Thank you everyone for your encouragement. Yes, every day is an eternity and it's hard keeping up appearances. Took a Xanax last night and did get a good night sleep which helps.

DH just doesn't seem to "get it" "Why am I so upset all of a sudden" I can't ever go there....

I feel cheated that all the excitement I have about my kids HS graduation and beginning college has been taken over by this. I know it will pass, but...

Again, thanks to every one that posted and even those that didn't but know the feeling.

Dx 5/16/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 8, 2018 07:15AM Runrcrb wrote:

glad you got some sleep as it helps. The waiting is hard, the tests exhausting. Try to keep up some exercise even if only a 30 minute walk around the neighborhood - fresh air works wonders.


Dx 6/27/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 4/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 6/27/2016, ILC/IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 4/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 10/31/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 2/8/2017 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 4/23/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane) Surgery 12/12/2017 Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Jun 8, 2018 08:41AM - edited Jun 8, 2018 08:42AM by Gramto4

Whome8... I too was diagnosed with DCIS in my right breast back in February. I had three oncologists review my case and they all agreed that mastectomy of the right breast was the best course of treatment to reduce the chance of reoccurrence . This was the hardest decision I have ever made but I knew it was most certainly the best way to go. The time between the decision to remove my breast and the day of surgery was filled with anxiety and fear of what I would look like after the surgery and how I would feel about myself. I continued to go to work and tried to focus on anything else but the surgery . I had many sleepless nights to say the least. My recovery was challenging but honestly it was not as bad as I had imagined. I had total mastectomy of right breast on April 6 and now nine weeks later I just had my fifth tissue expander fill. The discomfort was little to none at first fill and this last fill has come with more pain due to the extensive stretching of the tissue and muscle. I will be having surgery to put in a silicone implant sometime in August and my PS will also be doing a reduction and a lift to my healthy left breast to make them symmetrical. My friends and family have been so supportive and been with me every step of my journey. I just want to say that every day it gets a little better and you will get through this and life will return to normal as you knew it before your diagnosis

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Jun 8, 2018 11:04AM Meow13 wrote:

I know cheated that's what I felt. I was try to go to my older son just starting college. You know all the parent functions such happy events with that dark cloud overhead.

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Jun 8, 2018 01:05PM Whome08 wrote:

Biospy results showed DCIS cells an no invasive. One less thing today.

Dx 5/16/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 8, 2018 01:09PM Ingerp wrote:

Whome—just gonna chime in on BC interfering with life events. When I had DCIS two years ago,I was also planning my son’s wedding AT MY HOUSE. It was a wacky rollercoaster of emotions but in hindsight it worked outreally well. I didn’t have much time to obsess about my tx *or* my gardens.I really think being incredibly busy was a great distraction.

Dx 3/11/2016, DCIS, Left, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 3/22/2016 Lumpectomy Surgery 4/19/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 5/17/2016 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 3/2/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 3/12/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Targeted Therapy 5/17/2018 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 5/17/2018 Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/19/2018 Whole-breast: Breast
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Jun 8, 2018 01:43PM nonomimi5 wrote:

Whome,

I had Lumpectomy on 4/30 and I have only 8 more radiations left. I am so grateful I will be able to spend the summer traveling around to take my son to college baseball showcases. When I was Dx in March, the only thing I got teary about was "what if I can't take my son around in the summer?" so I really understand what you are going through. We all do. The waiting around for the surgery, the biopsy, the Oncotype DX were really the worst part of the deal. Take your time to vent, but so many women go though this, it is just another life situation you just need to learn how to cope with and move on. We will be praying for you.

Dx 3/23/2018, DCIS/IDC/IDC: Tubular, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 4/30/2018 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 5/28/2018 Breast Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 8, 2018 03:07PM Whome08 wrote:

Wow. a wedding at your house. I admire your strength and determination in pulling that off. I understand the roller coaster of emotions. I think it probably gave you the adrenaline to get everything in order. Thank you for sharing.

Dx 5/16/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 8, 2018 03:11PM Whome08 wrote:

I am glad you will be feeling good to take your son to his showcases. It is such a special time. Actually, you will be in my neck of the woods in the summer.

I hate to wish time away, but just really want to have all of this behind me. I need to give myself permission to be sad, tired and cry. I don't always do that. Reading everyone's stories, I am filled with admiration and awe at everyone's strength.


Dx 5/16/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 9, 2018 01:19AM Meow13 wrote:

Whome, good news now enjoy.

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Jun 9, 2018 04:53PM Justkeepmoving wrote:

No advice --I logged on right now because I'm feeling overwhelmed and confused. Sending you hugs xoxo

Dx 5/22/2018, DCIS, Left, 5cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR- Dx 6/29/2018, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Surgery 6/29/2018 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Jun 10, 2018 11:57AM Whome08 wrote:

Hey There Justkeepmoving,

Sounds like we are in similar situations. I understand all of how you are feeling. Please PM me is you need to ramble or vent. There is so much to take in and then trying to maintain a normal home life and responsibilities. Try to take each day as it comes. I know the feelings come and go in waves. Take care of yourself and get enough rest. Hugs to you.

Dx 5/16/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 11, 2018 10:17AM Puzzlewoman wrote:

I completely understand. I’m not having a good week emotionally and I think the fatigue from radiation is getting to me. Fortunately no skin issues yet! I need the people close to me to understand I’m not doing well even if it is mostly emotional right now. It’s hard to know what to say sometimes. Sending you happy thoughts!

Dx 3/13/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 3/26/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 6/4/2018 Breast
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Jun 11, 2018 11:14PM nonomimi5 wrote:

I have been cranky the last few days as well. Finished my 9th rad and having a hard time sleeping. Just a little darkening on my breast, but not burnt or painful. Hoping for a better day for all of us tomorrow!

Dx 3/23/2018, DCIS/IDC/IDC: Tubular, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 4/30/2018 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 5/28/2018 Breast Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 12, 2018 04:22PM Whome08 wrote:

Hope everyone is having a better day today.

Just a question: Who do you find to be the most supportive during this whole process?

Dx 5/16/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 12, 2018 04:35PM Puzzlewoman wrote:

For me personally it really helps to hear from people (family, friends, coworkers, medical team, anyone I’m close to right now), that they are thinking of me, or offering to help, or just talking about anything. I need to feel connected so I’m reassured. I know not everyone feels that way, but it really helps me. I also started taking a low-dose anti-depressant my pcp prescribed, and that helps take the edge off

Dx 3/13/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 3/26/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 6/4/2018 Breast
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Jun 12, 2018 04:53PM I_Spy wrote:

Honestly, the most supportive are women who've been through it. No one else truly seems to understand. They try, but they just don't. I had women close to me who'd had breast augmentation try to compare my BMX and reconstruction to their augmentation surgery (honestly: call me when you've had your nipples removed and have four drains hanging out of your chest like a science fiction character). And it wasn't that they were being mean, people just don't know what to say. They say: "it will be fine"; really? How do you know it will be fine? Because if you have a crystal ball I'd like to borrow it.

If you need help with things, ask for specific things so people can do them. Again, it isn't that they don't want to help it's that they don't know how or what to do or say.

And other than that, the best advice I got was from Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book: she said that her patients kept asking when things would go back to "normal", or the way they used to be. She said "They never will; recognize that. Everything is different now."

I am single and live alone. I had to be strong because there was really no one to lean on through my diagnosis, surgeries, etc., other than well meaning friends and my brother (parents have died). I allowed myself one hysterical screaming cry in my car, in the middle of an empty parking lot, lasting 15 minutes. I screamed and cried for the loss of what had come before, and the fight I was now facing. And that was it. I never cried again. Sometimes I look down and see missing nipples, and I feel blue for a minute and then I think: "Well, I'm alive."

I am doing great two years after my last surgery: released by my oncologist, scars healed, some muscle problems and body problems related to other issues for the most part, not the breast cancer. I have exciting things happening in my life, and I have hope for the future. But it was all because I stopped trying to make things the way they were "before". There is no before, there is only the new normal. (I'm not saying you're doing this, I'm just giving you the best advice I got!). You will handle this, everything that comes with it, because you're strong and you can. And you will be there to watch your kids graduate from college. You got this.



Dx 9/2/2014, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+ Surgery 9/2/2014 Lumpectomy: Right Dx 7/7/2015, LCIS, Left Surgery 7/7/2015 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 10/9/2015 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Surgery

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