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Jun 15, 2018 08:46AM
Jazzy--I like the term "opportunistic" too, but was thinking of it in the medical sense--an opportunistic infection is one caused by a bacteria/virus/yeast/fungus that is always present but usually harmless, unless something weakens the host, then the bacteria take advantage of the situation to multiply out of control. Mom will take advantage of the opportunity to mover her stuff into my place if I weaken in my decluttering and cleaning out and reorganizing commitment. So, the basement has moved to the bottom of the areas to be completed list, which does not mean I won't be working on it, it just won't ever get officially finished. Mom is always working on some cleaning out project or another, but mostly ends up just packing stuff in totes and boxes and piling them up somewhere. I've offered to help many times, but it never seems to work out. I keep telling myself that it's HER circus, and thus HER monkeys to corral and control. Someday, however, that will change.Dick does have kids. I'm not close with them, but recognize them when I see them and they occasionally are visiting when I visit, and weget along ok. Dick's kids have already had to deal with some of this stuff with their Mom as her Alzheimer's progressed and she had to be moved from her home to an assisted living apartment, to a nursing home. She was quite a hoarder, from what I've heard and the first couple of moves where pretty hard. This is always in the back of my mind these days, as I see Mom and Dick aging.
Poodles--oh my, what a horrible thing your Mom went through. My house was becoming a millstone like that, which is part of what got me moving on decluttering, but hearing your Mom's story shows me where I might have ended up (and could still if I'm not careful to maintain progress). Not what I want for myself or anyone who has to clean up after me when I'm gone.
Minus--Value and memories are important. I do have some things that I am keeping only for the associated memories, which I value. Fortunately, these items aren't many, and aren't large. I'm allowing myself to keep them, but will review them periodically, and am assigning places for them to go to when I am ready to let them go (or die, whichever comes first). Many of the items that were Dad's will go to the Historical Society in his home town. Not having children of my own, I have had to think pretty hard about where some things that I value should go when I die, and has made me think about relative value. I have my maternal Grandmother's china set, probably not monetarily very valuable (it was brought back from overseas by one of my uncle during his military service), not a pattern I would ever have picked out for myself, but very valuable to me, and on display in a china cabinet in my living room. Still trying to figure out where to have this go that isn't a junk shop or junk yard, cuz that though bothers me. Don't want to stick with someone else to try to figure out what to do with, either. So that's a work in progress.I think it's ok to hold on to some things, so long as I can say WHY I am holding on to them.
Wren--marking important items that way is a great idea! Takes away some of the fear of losing something important accidentally.
Agatha--sorry to hear about getting laid off. That must be scary and worrisome.Having more time to declutter is a plus, but needing to job search is important. In your situation, I'd have to have a timer, work on decluttering for a set amount of time, work on job search a set amount of time, do nothing or just amuse myself for a set amount of time. Otherwise I get bogged down or overwhelmed, and never even get started.
"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival." Audre Lorde
3/9/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
3/15/2007 Lumpectomy: Right
3/29/2007 Lumpectomy: Left
4/25/2008 Arimidex (anastrozole)
8/15/2008 Mastectomy: Left
6/21/2010 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap