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Topic: Could this really be that I am moving on?

Forum: Moving Beyond Cancer —

Managing life after a breast cancer diagnosis, including rediscovering intimacy, coping with fear of recurrence, reconnecting relationships, sharing hobbies and interests, and finding inspiration in daily life.

Posted on: Nov 14, 2019 04:46PM

mitziandbubba wrote:

Did anyone reach a point where they just felt the way they used to?

I keep reading all of the stuff that says there is a "new normal" etc. That I will never feel the same again and I had pretty much given up on ever feeling like I did before cancer. Of course I didn't want a "new normal" but I figured well, I'll take whatever I get as long as it means I don't cry every day (which hasn't happened in a few months).

Then this week, I was making plans with some girlfriends and I texted them "Wow, it feels so great to get back to my life again!" without even thinking. And when I thought about it after, I really feel a shift this week. I even told someone new that I was a breast cancer survivor and I swear I sounded super proud. A much younger girl I am friends with said that is very "on brand" for me to be a cancer survivor because I'm such a badass and I kind of felt good about that! I think a few weeks ago I would have wanted to punch her.

I just feel so happy. It doesn't feel like a new "normal". It feels better. I hope it lasts.



Surgery 5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 5/29/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast
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Nov 14, 2019 06:18PM TB90 wrote:

We all recover emotionally at our unique times. I remember being at a workshop and thought wow, I had not thought about bc for at least two hours. I was ecstatic. It feels wonderful to find some normalacy or even happiness again. I think it feels even better due to the contrast of fear and uncertainty that our dx brings. Glad to hear you feel so great.

Dx 11/28/2013, DCIS, Grade 2 Surgery 12/18/2013 Mastectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 2/20/2014 Breast
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Nov 14, 2019 07:11PM kksmom3 wrote:

It took me till after the first mammogram after cancer to feel better. I have never gone a day without thinking about it, but I was all consumed with it for a long time. I just couldn't stop thinking about all the many aspects of it. I hate that I did that but that's just what it took. It takes a long as it takes. I do mostly feel better about things. October is a hard month for me now because my surgery was Oct 1, 2018. I went in the hospital the day for the surgery early morning and when I left the place was SO pinked out. Like I could not forget about it even if I wanted to. Always in my face. I'm glad you moved on and pretty quickly too!!!

Dx 8/8/2018, DCIS/IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 10/29/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Nov 14, 2019 08:13PM AliceBastable wrote:

I've mostly thought about it when I check in here. When I had a hysterectomy for endometrial/uterine cancer, I drifted away from the on-line support group after a few months, but there wasn't any post-surgery care beyond about five weeks of healing before going back to work. Breast cancer was a less invasive surgery, but there was all that pesky radiation, and now the daily Tamoxifen. But I still don't think about it as much as I do the kidney cancer (surgery was between lumpectomy and radiation). That one's with me every day, with more tests and scans (had a damn blood test EVERY WEEK for a month recently!) and having to plan every bite I eat so my blood levels stay normal. If I get a month without an appointment or test (maybe next February!), I'm deliriously happy.

Endometrial cancer 2010, basal cell multiples, breast cancer 2018, kidney cancer 2018. Cancer's a bitch, but I'm a bigger one with more practice. Dx 5/2018, ILC/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/11/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 8/8/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/29/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Nov 15, 2019 05:33PM mitziandbubba wrote:

Thanks everyone for your feedback. Alice, you have been through a lot, wow, and you sound so strong and so positive.

It's so relaxing not to wake up every day and think "Wait - cancer? Did that just happen?" and have to hide my tears from my husband. Now I just wake up and think "coffee...now". I have an oncologist follow up visit soon and it just popped up on my calendar and for the first time I am not apprehensive or scared. I was thinking about the last time I was at the onc's office and she made a gyno appointment for me and said "she has a history of breast cancer" and I thought, yes, it is in my HISTORY. But now it is starting to really feel like history.

I really cannot wait next year, 2020, for the one year anniversary of when this all started. I feel like I will be reborn.

Surgery 5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 5/29/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast

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