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Sep 22, 2021 05:52PM
Mich - Halloween Queen!! I like it!! LOL And Frankenchili, good one, a little bit of everything, sounds good to me!
Jen - I refuse to do the bell too! Don't even want to see it. Didn't do it when I finished chemo and not going to do it when I'm done with rads. I'm happy for those that do, but it's not for me. I think it's the privacy thing. I'm very reserved, maybe too reserved. It's not like anyone I know is there with me. I don't like attention either. My uncle, who is like a brother to me, says I'm trying to be Superwoman; I refuse to let others do for me and so if they don't know they won't try or offer. He 's probably right. It took me almost a year after chemo to even post anything on social media about having been dx'd (this was prior to being dx'd again). Four days later I found out the cancer was back and only the those that needed to know are the ones I told. I almost feel like I jinxed myself.
WARNING: Venting/complaining about to take place...
The hot flashes...OMG! I sleep with 3 fans. One of them is a mini fan that's on my night stand, it's quiet (Holmes #HPF0467 bought it at Target), what drives me crazy about it is the light that indicates it's charging. I put black electrical tape over it to not see it. Like you, I get too cold and have to cover right back up. Last night I actually cried, literally cried...balled my eyes out. I swear I go from 0 to hell in 1.5 seconds (I think someone said that on here early on) and cannot handle it anymore! And it feels like it's happening every 10 minutes. I went to the extreme of buying myself a cooling mattress a few weeks back and it is not working for me. At first I thought it was the sheet, so I started taking the sheet off before I go to bed...Nope. Been taking off the mattress pad for the last couple nights and nope. My son lays on the bed to test and it and feels the cooling effect right away. UGH!!!!! Is there no end to any of this?! I swear I feel like I/we can't catch a break. I am truly grateful to be alive, again just venting.
Today I was feeling extra crappy and my RO was worried that I may have caught covid. I told him there was no way as I'm caged up in my home because I don't feel good so I haven't been anywhere, there is no way I caught covid. He'll probably have me tested tomorrow. Oh well!
To top it off I have a huge, bigger than a golf ball size lump on the side of my breast, almost to my back. I had something similar when I had the expanders in, but it wasn't solid. This thing is so fat and I can feel it all the time as of last night, it actually rubs against the back of my arm. Luckily I don't really need to wear a bra and can get any with wearing a camisole. The RO says it's from rads and that whatever it was he referred to as, is inflamed from the rads.
Ok, I think I'm done venting. Sorry everyone!!
Continuing to pray and send positive vibes to you all.
3/2020, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC)
4/1/2020 AC + T (Taxol)
9/17/2020 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
11/3/2020 Xeloda (capecitabine)
7/2021, Right, 2cm, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-
7/9/2021 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall