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Topic: just found out my girlfriend may have breast cancer

Forum: LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer —

A special and safe place for the LGBTQ community diagnosed with breast cancer to connect.

Posted on: Oct 26, 2008 04:49AM

0fla wrote:

Until the end of this week, we won't know for sure, but if it is the case, I'm wondering what I can expect by way of hospital procedure when I want to visit her and things. Does it depend on her family?

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Oct 26, 2008 04:59AM checkum wrote:

She can name you as someone in which they have permission to share information with on the intake forms.

Have you checked your boobs today? Dx 9/15/2008, ILC, 2cm, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 26, 2008 05:06AM sbmolee wrote:

Hi Ofla - I HOPE your girfriend does not have bc.  If she does, I hope ,like for me,  there is little hospitalization involved.  I had three surgeries and two were on an outpatient bases - one required an overnight stay.  I spent less that 18 hours in the hospital with bilat mast and expander plancements.   

It is pretty standard at hospitals that unless a patient is in the Intene Care Unit (ICU) or in quarantine anyone can visit. 

Best of luck!

Live life to the fullest - it is not a spectator sport. Dx 3/27/2008, DCIS, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 26, 2008 06:56AM TorchSong wrote:

Also, sometimes hospitals will ask for "contact" or "next of kin" information when a patient is checking in. If your girlfriend lists you as that person, then you should have no trouble getting information and seeing her. Most hospitals are fairly open these days, as sbmolee says.

My gf recently had spinal surgery, and we had a gerat experience in a small town hospital. She had me down as the contact, and the surgeon gave me the update afterwards (and called me her family in his op notes!). The staff had no issue with our relationship--they would ask who I was before discussing things with her, but that was simply a privacy thing. One of the aides even came running down the hall to tell us about the California marriage act (this was the day it was passed). Of course, she's pretty estranged from her family (in contact but rarely sees any of them, none of them bothered to show up or call around her surgery, etc.), so they're not an issue for us.

For me, lviing in Canada has been a blessing--they cannot discriminate, and no one has. My onc was thrown off a bit when he realised my partner was another woman, but carried on very professionally and didn't give us any hassles, aside from a sideways glance when we held hands. Others--surgeon, residents, nurses, aides, clerks, social workers, everyone--has been great.

It's a concern we shouldn't have to worry about, but such is life...

I hope you don't have to worry about any of this--hugs to you both! Dx 9/10/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/20 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Oct 26, 2008 01:25PM NoH8 wrote:

 I hope your GF is ok

If you're here in the USA, your GF has the right to say who has and doesn't have access to her and  who the doctors can talk to. She can designate you as her contact person formally or informally through her doctor. Since she mention assuming her family would be the ones to decide, I wonder if that means they don't know about you or approve?

USA home of civil and equal rights for all heterosexuals

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