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Topic: My Beautiful Mother is with the Angels

Forum: Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care — A unique forum ONLY for those trying to live well and/or trying to die well.

Posted on: Jun 8, 2012 08:26PM

mimi1030 wrote:

Hello there,

At 9:10am after a courageous 8 year battle with this horrible disease, my mom took her last breath and went home to God and her mom and to meet the sister she never got to meet. She went peacefully and when they took her body away, she had a smile on her face. She was at rest and she is free from this disease and suffering. There is a hole in my heart that will never leave. I love u my dear Mother, you will live in my heart forever. Until we meet again paradise your memory will live in my heart. I will miss you so much. :( xxxxxx

She waited for me to get there, as she laid in her bed, I wrapped my arms around her and said momma it's okay to let go, you fought well and you can rest in peace now. We will miss you with all our hearts but you have suffered enough be free, spread your wings and fly.

She closed her eyes yesterday and went to sleep and she finally passed this morning.

Thank you for all your support and welcome here, I will be here to watch over you all and hopefully to offer my help for those going through the same sad times.

Take care of yourselves and stay in touch..

Hugs Michelle

My mom was dx 8/2004 DCIS with 4mm of IDC, Stage 1, 0 Nodes, Grade 1, Her2+++ cancer. Left side mastectomy with 4 rounds A/C. 9/2007 Mets to Liver and Bones. 2/28/10 craniotomy confirm brain mets 3/1/10 begun Tykerb 3/15/10 WBR and Xeloda. Surgery 11/12/2004 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Free TRAM flap Chemotherapy 11/14/2004 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel), Xeloda (capecitabine) Dx 9/29/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 1/23/2010 Tykerb (lapatinib) Radiation Therapy 2/9/2010
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Jun 8, 2012 08:31PM glostagirl wrote:

So sorry for your loss.  One can tell that you loved your mom and she loved you back.  Peace be with you.

...."We must see all scars as beauty. ....Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived." Chris Cleave, Little Bee Dx 1/5/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 2/22/2008 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Surgery 3/27/2009 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): IGAP flap Surgery 6/20/2012 Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Surgery 11/14/2012 Reconstruction (right)
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Jun 8, 2012 08:34PM Letlet wrote:

Mimi, I am so sorry. Where she is, cancer can never touch her now. May she rest in peace.

Dx 8/27/2010, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 6/23 nodes, ER-/PR+, HER2+
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Jun 8, 2012 08:43PM Moderators wrote:

Michelle, you have the sympathies of all of us here at Breastcancer.org.

To send a Private Message to the Mods: community.breastcancer.org/mem...
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Jun 8, 2012 08:46PM dltnhm wrote:

My condolences sweet Michelle. I am thankful that you were able to get there to be with her. May the LORD draw you close at this time. My heartfelt prayers are with you and your sisters, esp. your young teen sister.

Age 48 @ diag. Left SS NS UMX, Sent.Node Biopsy & part. Axillary (Node) Ex., & DIEP recon. on 1/10/12; AC DD Chemo began 2/22/12 ended 4/4/12; Taxol 12x: infusions began 4/26/12 ended 7/11/12! Rads x28: 8/06/12 - 9/13/12; Tamoxifen began 10/01/12 Dx 11/23/2011, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 7/19 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 8, 2012 08:49PM camillegal wrote:

Michelle, I am so sorry for your loss of u'r beautiful Mother--she will watch over u and is free of her pain.

Dx 2007, Stage IV, 24/38 nodes, HER2+
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Jun 8, 2012 08:57PM Specialk3190 wrote:

So sorry for your loss! When my son passed in 1997 someone sent me a card with a quote that said "When someone you love becomes a memory...that memory becomes a treasure." Those words still ring true for me today 15 years later. Your Mom is at peace with God and the Angels, and your challenge is to begin to pick up the pieces of your broken heart as you move forward on the path. You will never forget, nor would you want to. May God Bless you and your family, and my your Mother Rest Eternally In Peace.

Kim B. Surgery 11/15/2011 Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Free TRAM flap
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Jun 8, 2012 09:23PM deborye wrote:

((((Michelle))) 

Death leaves a heart ache
No one can heal
Love leaves a memory
No one can steal.
 

I lost my Mom to BC 16 years ago May 31st, she was 64 years old.  Fought for 6 years.  I miss her dearly. 

~~~Deb~~~NEVER GIVE UP/NEVER SURRENDER**IDC 6mm & DCIS 7mm
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Jun 8, 2012 10:48PM mimi1030 wrote:

Thank you everyone. As the night draws closer I feel so lost. I want to see her as she was before cancer ever came into our lives. I want to hold her hand again and kiss her face. Why, did this have to happen to her. I know there is a purpose to all things but she was all we had. It's going to be a long night for a very long time. I am so sad, and I don't know what to do with myself. :(

My mom was dx 8/2004 DCIS with 4mm of IDC, Stage 1, 0 Nodes, Grade 1, Her2+++ cancer. Left side mastectomy with 4 rounds A/C. 9/2007 Mets to Liver and Bones. 2/28/10 craniotomy confirm brain mets 3/1/10 begun Tykerb 3/15/10 WBR and Xeloda. Surgery 11/12/2004 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Free TRAM flap Chemotherapy 11/14/2004 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel), Xeloda (capecitabine) Dx 9/29/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 1/23/2010 Tykerb (lapatinib) Radiation Therapy 2/9/2010
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Jun 8, 2012 11:08PM macatacmv wrote:

mimi, I'm so sorry for your loss! It will feel dark for a time, let yourself feel the sadness, let it wash over you, then when the light begins to show through (and it will, even though it doesn't feel like it right now) let yourself feel that, too. You don't need to "know" what to do, or why, just be! Let others love you. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Nancy 

macatacmv Dx 12/8/2011, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 9, 2012 01:35AM Blessings2011 wrote:

Michelle - I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's passing....

My mom passed three years ago after suffering ten years with end-stage Parkinson's. I miss her every day, but I know she is dancing with the angels, and all those she loved who went before her. Her suffering is a thing of the past.

Reading your words, hearing the things you said to her, made it very clear to me that you were the best, loving daughter you could be.

You escorted your mom out of this life into the next. What a gift you gave her! And after all her suffering, she crossed over with a smile on her face!

I always think of that song - "I will rise when He calls my name; no more sorrow, no more pain..."

She will always be in your heart. You will always be in hers.

May you feel God's peace and comfort in the days to come, and may warm sweet memories soon fill the hurting places in your heart.

Dx 9/15/2011, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/4/2011 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 8/21/2012 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy 9/4/2012 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 10/21/2013 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 9, 2012 02:43PM Marple wrote:

Michelle, my deepest sympathy.  I'm so sorry.

Dx 2006, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 9, 2012 06:07PM kayfh wrote:

Michelle, I am sorry for your loss. Kay

Kay Dx 3/3/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 8/8 nodes, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/27/2009 Mastectomy: Left
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Jun 10, 2012 08:59AM mthomp2020 wrote:

I'm so sorry you lost your dear mother, Michelle.  I'm glad you were able to be there with her, and that her passing was peaceful.  {{{{{{{{{{Michelle}}}}}}}}}}

Marsha Dx 5/21/2007, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 10, 2012 09:19AM ruthbru wrote:

I am so sorry for your loss. I too was with my mother as she breathed her last. It was a hard yet profound experience. I still miss her, and that was many years ago now. If your mom was like mine (and I'll bet she was), she will expect you to be sad, but also will want you to move forward as time goes on; have new experiences, do interesting and challenging things, and to really appreciate and enjoy life. My best wishes to you and your family. Ruth

"Invisible threads are the strongest ties." Friedrich Nietzsche Dx 2/2007, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/11 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jun 10, 2012 06:48PM Leah_S wrote:

Michele, my deepest condolences on your painful loss. May G-d send you comfort.

Leah

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 10, 2012 08:30PM sweetbean wrote:

I'm so sorry for your loss - she sounds like a beautiful person.  I know that you will miss her very much, but that you will see her again.  May God keep you close during this difficult time.

Dx 11/18/2010, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH)
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Jun 11, 2012 09:49AM - edited Jun 11, 2012 09:50AM by greenacres

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mother.  My she rest in peace and may God comfort you during this most difficult time. 

Sandra from WI - 12/1/09-IDC, 1.4cm w/DCIS/ALH close to margin. Tumor poorly differentiated w/ comedo necrosis. Stage 1, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Her2++++ Dx 12/1/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 11, 2012 10:00AM leggo wrote:

I am so sorry Michelle.

"Once more into the fray... Into the last good fight I'll ever know... Live and die on this day... Live and die on this day." - The Grey
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Jun 14, 2012 08:26PM sincitydealer wrote:

Michelle, I hope it's some comfort to know your Mom is out of pain, and hopefully in a better place.  I'm glad you made it to her side before she left this life.  My heart breaks for you and your family.

Peggy 

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Jun 14, 2012 08:27PM 1Athena1 wrote:

So sorry, Michelle....

Anyone diagnosed with cancer should learn to have a healthy disrespect for statistics. Statistics are maths. It's the science which still eludes us. Dx 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 14, 2012 08:41PM FilterLady wrote:

Michelle....I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet Momma.  My Momma passed away on 12/31/06 from lung cancer and I do know how you feel.

I'm not going to tell you that it will get better with time....that's not true (at least for me).  I miss her as much today as I did the day she died.  I've learned to cope with it better.

I think she's my special angel and I know that she has been with me every step of the way on the breast cancer journey.

I'm praying for you to have sweet memories to fill the void you feel now.  Take time to think of those happy times and know that she is smiling from heaven and waiting to see you again.

God bless you and your family,

LaDonna

Dx 9/16/2011, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/5/2011 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 11/30/2011 Breast Hormonal Therapy 1/20/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 22, 2012 03:10PM vivirasselena wrote:

I am so sorry for your loss.  Cancer just takes away too many loved ones, and leaves too much pain in it's place.

I hope you will allow yourself time to grieve as you need to.

Again, I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

michele 

I am loved. I am safe. I am healed. Dx 11/12/2010, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Jun 29, 2012 02:38PM thatsvanity wrote:

Hi Michelle,
I'm so sad when I read your words of grief and all the difficult wrenching emotions that come with grief. I'm grieving too. I hope you are having a good day today.
Love Amy

Atypical lobular hyperplasia(11/11/10) PBMX NS mastectomy on 5/26/2011 Dx 11/11/2010, Stage 0, 0/0 nodes
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Aug 24, 2012 11:54PM justjudie wrote:

Dear Michelle,

I am so sorry for your loss of your mom. You obviously loved her very much and there is a big hole in your life now. I think of my mother just about every day even though she has been gone 29 years. My deepest sympathy.

Judie Dx 3/31/2010, IDC, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 17, 2014 09:44PM Justme123abc wrote:

I understand your loss and how much it hurts. I lost my mother to this horrible disease Friday Feb. 7 2014 at 6 am in the morning. She went peacefully. It was hard to let her go and it still hurts and will for some time my mom will always be in my heart and a large part of me is missing now. I know time will heal the intensity of the pain but it will never heal it completely. My mom asked to be sedated and they did that for her in the palliative care she was in. We only found out in December she had stage 4 b/c we expected her included she had more time, but the cancer had spread throughout her body and the hospital told us they could only treat the pain not the cancer it was too advanced, she went quicker than we expected so add to her passing was the initial shock of learning on in Dec. 2013. I have grieved twice first her diagnosis and then her passing with hardly any time to catch my breath or come to terms with it all. So my heart is broken and shattered and picking up the pieces and moving on I know will take time. This board and reading books and doing research on-line has been comfort to me. Thank you for all your support. Warmest regards, Karen 

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Feb 17, 2014 11:05PM AmyQ wrote:

Karen,

I am so very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Please accept my heartfelt condolences. 

Amy

Dx 2/7/2013, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 2/3 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/9/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 7/19/2013 Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 11/25/2015 External: Bone Hormonal Therapy 1/10/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Feb 19, 2014 10:24PM FilterLady wrote:

Karen,

I'm so sorry that your Momma was taken by this evil disease.  The fact that there was so little time from diagnosis to her death makes it especially hard.  My Momma died on 12/31/06 and I miss her more each day.  She died from lung cancer and I know that she's in a better place but I still miss her so.  I tell people that I know it will never get better for me but I think you just learn to handle it differently as time goes by.

I'm praying for you sweetie, just reach out to your friends and family and don't be afraid to let them help you.....it will take time.

God bless you,

LaDonna

Dx 9/16/2011, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/5/2011 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 11/30/2011 Breast Hormonal Therapy 1/20/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Feb 20, 2014 12:06AM mimi1030 wrote:

Hello Karen,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I send to you my deepest condolences for the loss of your mom. It's the worst feeling in the world and I understand your pain. It seems so unreal at first, I was not sure what to do with myself for many months. This June 8th will be 2 years since we lost her and never a day goes by that I don't feel a pain in my heart. I think of her several times a day. 

There are days even still when the reality of it sends a shrill sensation through my body and the reality of her loss comes over me. It's been a long road.  While I am comforted to know she suffers no more, I am human and I would much prefer here here with me, alive. She was just 57 and I and my sisters felt robbed. The youngest now almost 18, was turning 16 two after mom passed away. She had very little time with mom and 8 of those years was of sickness. 

Allow yourself to grieve. It's okay. It's okay to be mad. I was mad as hell for a long time. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Your heart just took a big thump and it hurts. My mom died 3 months before my wedding day and so all I had of her was her picture and memorial candle at the altar. It was the best and worst day of my life. But I felt her with me. And you will feel your moms presence from time to never. She is there but behind that veil we are not able to see through with living eyes.  But you'll see she will make her presence known to you.  She will be with you always and after you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will learn a new way to feel her presence. 

I am still healing, still learning, still coping. The pain will never go away, but I am trying to see through the sorrow in hopes that I can live as proudly for her as she always wanted. We will see our moms again Karen, that's for sure.  May God send his Angels to surround you, comfort you and hold you up at this sad time and if you ever need a friend please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I stop by here once in a while and I get notifications when a message is left. I have been in this community since 2004 so I am just a message away.  

Be at peace Karen.  Take care of you!

Michelle 

My mom was dx 8/2004 DCIS with 4mm of IDC, Stage 1, 0 Nodes, Grade 1, Her2+++ cancer. Left side mastectomy with 4 rounds A/C. 9/2007 Mets to Liver and Bones. 2/28/10 craniotomy confirm brain mets 3/1/10 begun Tykerb 3/15/10 WBR and Xeloda. Surgery 11/12/2004 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Free TRAM flap Chemotherapy 11/14/2004 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel), Xeloda (capecitabine) Dx 9/29/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 1/23/2010 Tykerb (lapatinib) Radiation Therapy 2/9/2010

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