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Topic: Crying

Forum: Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After —

Risks and benefits, side effects, and costs of anti-estrogen medications. Note: Please remember that there are good experiences and bad with ALL treatments and this is a safe place to share YOUR experience, not to be influenced or influence others.

Posted on: Jul 3, 2020 05:22PM

e32 wrote:

I find myself crying way more than ever before. Feel like a loser. I am taking Femara and Zoladex. I have young kids, trying to keep up on mu housework, juggle appointments. Failing at it all.

I just need to know I will have more energy when some of the chaos clears. My house is a filthy wreck, kids have behavior issues, I am at doc appts 2 x a week for past month or so and have to make a drive to get there. Feeling like I suck at everything and totally tapped out.

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Jul 4, 2020 04:21PM flashlight wrote:

e32, You have been through a lot. My primary doctor just sat me down and told me I have to remember I have cancer. Do you have any support? A husband or Mom or someone who would help with the children? Tamoxifen made me cry at a drop of a hat for the first 6 months. Its hard to give ourselves a break. You are not failing and yes you will get through this. With Covid all of the kids have behavioral issues!! As far as the house goes do the basic cleaning and not worry about the rest. When you feel stronger it will get done. Don't worry about the small stuff. Take care of you and your children will do better too.

Dx 11/15/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Surgery Lumpectomy: Left
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Jul 5, 2020 11:23AM moth wrote:

well, I cry everyday so maybe I'm not the person to ask but... seems to me you're going through tons and you're having your hormones messed with by the treatment medication.

I hope you get concrete help with the kids and the house and meal prep. Stop trying to superwoman your way through this if that's what you were doing. Arrange some help - I think it will make things better. In some ways we've normalized cancer to the point that people think it's like a sprained wrist. Decades ago you would have been hospitalized for weeks.

Also get some counselling so you can start to feel more control. I think cancer robs us of this the most - the sense of control - & if you are the type of person who was all organized and kept track of 50 things etc etc... that loss of control when cancer pulls the rug from under your feet cuts deep. Call your cancer center about group therapy or a counsellor.

Also, Cry If You Want To

Initial dx at 50. Seriously???? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: nevertellmetheodds2017.tumblr.... Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/18/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab)
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Jul 5, 2020 11:36AM AmyQ wrote:


I'm terribly sorry you feel so out-of-control but you have every right to. Small children, cancer, fatigue etc. While it's easy for me to understand what you're going through, it's difficult for me to find a solution. Do you have a group of friends, neighbors, church, family who would be willing to help sort out everyday chores like light housework, shopping, overseeing the kids for a couple hours each week so you have a chance to nap?

I have researched nation-wide cleaning services who will donate services to families in your situation. They truly are angels and if there's an organization nearby, I am sure you will feel less out-of-control. I know a clean house isn't everything, however, clutter weighs on me and even if my bed isn't made in the morning, it feels like I've failed at my day.

How old are your children? Can you get them on a schedule of picking up their things, making their bed etc.

I hope you research and get the help you need. Emotionally and mentally your outlook will improve greatly. I do hope you can get help. Good luck to you.


PS - get outside and soak up some Vitamin D with your children, that helps too. Leave the messes behind closed doors.

Dx 2/7/2013, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 2/3 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/9/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 7/19/2013 Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 11/25/2015 External: Bone Hormonal Therapy 1/10/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Jul 5, 2020 02:25PM bcincolorado wrote:

Yes, give yourself a break and you are probably your own worst critic right now. It is hard to think you can't do everything you used to do right now.

Close a door. If someone complains about dust tell them where everything is to clean it. Bed not made? Oh well.

It can take all your energy to get through a day right now. Try to relax and let your body heal from the trauma it has been through.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/6/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/14/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/29/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jul 5, 2020 06:12PM MinusTwo wrote:

moth - love the song. Thanks for posting.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Jul 5, 2020 11:42PM e32 wrote:

Thanks everyone!! I think one part is that Covid caused so much of our support options to be gone. And now I think my remaining support is tapped out as well, along with me. I also believe, yes I am one to just do it all. And I think people were ready to hear I am fine and done with cancer.

I am! But, I never knew there would be lingering fallout I'd deal with. And I agree on rhe sprained wrist analogy. And how people just think " oh you had it easy you just had surgery for yours that is all". Yes, I am incredibly blessed by that. But I still have lots of follow up care! The cancer is out but I am still being treated in many ways.

I need to make/ find time for self care. Almost midnight, but Im having a cup of tea bc the kids are finally asleep and it is quiet! (They normally go to bed earlier but fireworks threw them off so last one fell asleep an hour ago).

So yeah, having your hormones wrecked during Covid, while recovering from surgery, with little kids who also have had a rough past several months- wowzers!! 😁 Thanks for all the encouragement!!!! You guys "get it". Not many I know do!!!

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Jul 15, 2020 01:50PM IBJUSTFINE67 wrote:

I was on Tamoxifen almost a year with no horrible side affects. Then I was put on Femara (Letrozole) 8 weeks ago. 2 weeks in, I was getting more and more depressed and anxious. I was sooooo very fatigued and weak. Was depressed one other time in my life and swore I would never go back. This drug was leading me to that dark place. Got a 2 week break from it. By day 3 I was starting to feel myself again. I am now trying Exemestane. I will let you know how it goes. I have met 3 other people like me who had horrible sadness with this med and Exemestane (Aromatasin) was much better for them. Everyone handles medicines differently just like antidepressants. Try something different if you can.

Colleen Shaw Dx 7/9/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 7/19/2019, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 8/12/2019 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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Sep 11, 2020 04:21PM Blue311 wrote:

I feel you, I felt very down when I first stating taking tamoxifen. Its hard, this journey that cancer has taken over our bodies, and our minds. I have cried so much in the past year since i was first diagnosed. its really heard. It will get better.

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Sep 11, 2020 08:49PM ThreeTree wrote:

e32 - I realize this is an older post that you made, but in case you are still concerned and see this message: I cry all the time too, and it is much worse since I began taking Femara/Letrozole last January. I do think the virus and other things like current events add to it, but there is no question in my mind that the Letrozole/Femara make this exponentially worse!

Hope things have improved and settled out for you.

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