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Jun 21, 2009 11:36PM
Jun 22, 2009 12:00AM
Mbrowning, I think we may be twins. Especially, when you said, this:
"I have zero confidence in conventional medicine (the treatment phase, at least). For my very low grade, very small cancer, they want to treat me with radiation and tamoxifen (OncoDX score was low, so surgeon says no chemo, but oncologist says I need to have my SNB to test lymph, which if positive, will trump the Onco score). Although not physically, mentally and verbally I was kicking and screaming in her office! I see this as a total over-treatment for me."
That is exactly what I believe. We had, small cancers. Invasive, by definition, yet my 2cm IDC ... less than 1/2 inch. Yours even smaller.
What IS the impetus, for all of these "treatments?"
My opinion? The doctors do not want to get sued. So, they offer "Everything," every test/treatment imaginable. Even if they know, it will never help you. So they won't get sued.
Then, you said:
"When speaking of radiation and tamoxifen, I get this extreme pain that starts at the base of my neck and moves up into my head; my heart starts jumping and I get very anxious. When I stand my ground and start thinking of my healthy lifestyle now, I get cool, calm and collected. I do not believe this is "all in my head"....it is as much physiological and spiritual as it is pshychological, and all of these aspects play a huge role in healing. Even if chemo, radiation and tamoxifen are successful for other people, I believe that since I have not accepted them in my heart and my mind, that they would not be effetive for me, and in fact would likely be harmful to my body!"
And I guess we do agree here, as well.
I actually got to the point, in 2006, of appearing at the "Sim" appointment, for the whole breast radiation. Where they do the CT scan, and "fit" you for the "cradle" for the radiation.
That is where I just walked away. LIterally. They gave me this consent form, to sign, and I just said, I do not want this, and walked out of the place. The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance.
It was the most liberating day, of my life.
Mbrowning, you have a more upbeat take, on things, because I don't believe that "chemo, radiation and tamoxifen" help anyone.
For my part, the wife of a colleague where I work, just died, last week. This woman had been diagnosed with Leioymyosarcoma, in June of 2008. Ha, my very own, other cancer. Although, as I've said, I got the external "butt" version, that was cured. I guess, I have my five year CT scan, July 21.
But this woman got the uterine, internal version of the Leio. She had uterine fibroids, for YEARS. Thought nothing of them, but that is where the Leio cancer, hides. And when they discovered it, in June 2008, it had spread, everywhere.
And she chose the Medical Industrial Complex, to cure her, and spent the past year undergoing increasingly grueling rounds, of chemotherapy. And more chemotherapy. And MORE chemotherapy. And her life was a living HELL. And now, she's dead.
For what? She could have just done nothing, and enjoyed that last year that she had, with her family. A 7 year old daughter and a 2 year old, son.
I believe the chemo quickened her death.
I was already on the BP, for my "nothing" cancers, but that solidified for me, I'm NEVER having chemotherapy or any therapy other than surgery for ANYTHING.
You're right, mbrowning, "Today, I live." Today is all that we have. NONE of us, are getting out of here, alive.
Stop sweating and focusing on all of this bullshit. Just enjoy, the time that we're here.
And as far as this medical shit is concerned, less is more. Docs, you need to cut out my cancer, then, you're done. Then, it's up to me to eat right, to prevent a recurrence.
Today, I would venture to say, was the best day of my life. My two kids, 20 year old daughter, 17 year old son, were home. Playing a computer game, in the other room. I was watching the Paper Chase. One of my favorite TV series.
I don't where I'm going with this but just to say ... today is it. Life IS today. And today was one of the happiest days, of my life.
Me healthy, my children healthy. It doesn't get any better, than that.
I'm not going to be like my colleague's wife, Who squandered, her remaining year, in the Medical Industrial Complex. I'm going to eat the FOCC and veggies and live for today.
5/5/2006, IDC, 2cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-