Join Us

We are 219,486 members in 84 forums discussing 161,542 topics.

Help with Abbreviations

Topic: why can't we catch a break

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY —

Please respect that this forum is for members with stage IV/metastatic breast cancer only. There is a separate forum for caregivers and friends: Caring for Someone with Stage 4 or Mets.

Metastatic breast cancer (MBC; also called stage IV) is breast cancer that has spread to other parts of the body, most commonly the bones, liver, brain, or lungs. Metastatic breast cancer can be treated but not cured. Metastatic disease is NOT hopeless. There are a wide variety of treatment options for metastatic breast cancer, and new medicines are being tested every day. More and more people are living life to the fullest while being treated for metastatic breast cancer.

Note: Please contact your doctor for any specific concerns about symptoms you are experiencing or your course of treatment.

Learn more about living with MBC.

Intro medically reviewed by: Brian Wojciechowski, M.D.
Last review date: November 22, 2020

Posted on: Aug 13, 2007 10:21AM

Antonio wrote:

well it looks like things just keep getting worse,my wife now has mets to the brain with several lesions.she has gone thru 2 rad treatments of the hole brain with 8 more to go.she has mets to lung,liver,spine and now brain.she has lost alot of weight is very week and cannot stand up on her own.she has gone thru 3 sessions of zeloda which i guess have done absolutely nothing.I am totally scared shitless right now and slowly losing hope.I'm trying so hard to stay strong for her and especially the kids,but every time i look at the kids i still can't believe what is happening.

Log in to post a reply

Page 1 of 1 (20 results)

Posts 1 - 20 (20 total)

Log in to post a reply

Aug 13, 2007 11:38AM sportycath wrote:

Antonio, I was in the same position as your wife last October with progressing lung, liver and bones and then hit with brain tumours. The treatment sometimes is worse than the cancer! I had surgery then WBR and also had SRS in the past few mths and although there is more progression in all those places I'm not too bad. I started 2 new chemos last Friday (my last 2 options left) and I'm sure they are knocking me around more than the cancer itself at the moment. Don't lose hope. Is she on dexamethasone for brain inflammation? - I'm sure she would be. It's the only thing that has given me a bit of steadiness (and energy back.) Hope this helps both of you, take care Cathy

Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 06:34AM bevnurse wrote:

Antonio,
I am so sorry you are both at this place right now. There is really nothing I can say that will help but I wanted to let you know there are people out here who care and are here to help keep the darkness away.

I am sure some of the ladies with experience in this will be along soon to offer helpful suggestions.

Hugs to you and your wife,
Bev
Beverly Dx 11/11/2004, IDC, 4cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 1/8 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 06:38AM WendyV wrote:

Antonio,
I am so very sorry that you and your wife are going through all of this, but please don't lose hope. I know it is all so overwhelming but sometimes you just have to find the right combination of meds to do the trick - look at Cathy! All my prayers to you, your wife and your children.
Wendy
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.( bone,liver,brain,lung mets) Dx 10/9/2006, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 06:49AM LinTol wrote:

Antonio,
I am sorry to hear what you, your wife and family are going through. This is a tough disease, but keep the faith. There are so many treatments and drug combinations out there. Make sure that you are going to a good Cancer Center, where you and your wife feel comfortable knowing that they are giving you the very best care.

Please try to stay positive for your wife and children!

I will be sending prayers and positive thoughts your way!
Linda
Linda Dx 5/2006, IDC, Stage IV, ER+/PR-, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 07:33AM Lauralynne wrote:

Antonio-
Cancer sucks....that is the truth. I am sad to hear what you and your family are going through. Sometimes we just want to wake up from this nightmare and get back to our lives before cancer took over everything. Your wife is so lucky to have you, and your children are lucky to have a father like you. You are setting a good example for your children. Hang in there, I know it is not easy and it can be so frustrating. Please know there is ALWAYS hope, do not give up now. Do the best you can for you and your family. We all feel for you and your wife.
Hoping the treatment will show some good signs of encouragement for you, and give you the strenth to continue on and fight.

Hugs and Peace,
Laura
Dx 02/06 IDC, 06/06 IBC, 4/9 positive nodes, grade 3, triple neg, Stage IV.
Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 01:03PM katie11 wrote:

Dear Antonio,

I am so sorry you are facing these new fears on top of everything else. Sometimes cancer makes you feel as if you have no control at all over your lives.

Please know that there is always hope, however. There are many women on these boards who are living and coping with brain mets - the treatments available are extremely effective.

Thinking of you, your wife and your wonderful kids - stay strong!


Hugs,

Katie xxxx
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst! Dx 7/15/2006, ILC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 06:42PM ozzie2 wrote:

Antonio I think that u are God's blessing to your wife and children ..you are one of a kind..hang in there and stay strong, know that u are in my thoughts and prayers..

DCIS and IDC 96. ER/PR + HER2- bone skin mets06 ,Lung mets May08
Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 07:56PM jacqniel wrote:

Antonia - letting you know your wife, you and family are being thought of and prayed for today. Never give up hope. The human body is a miraculous thing and can go through much diversity and still rebound. Jacque

Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 08:18PM jansdaughter wrote:

Antonio, I don't know how many times my dad said the same exact thing, "why can't we catch a break". Don't give up hope. If you read on these boards, there are a lot of women who have been in bad shape, only to respond and get stronger. Believe your wife will. Believe it! Dianne

Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 08:42PM BrandisMom wrote:

Antonio -- I'm so sorry to hear of your latest news. First off, let me say that your wife is very lucky to have you! My husband couldn't handle my illness and left.

Secondly, as others have said on here, many of us have had to deal with brain mets and we do. I am one of them. Mine was diagnosed in May. I had CyberKnife Surgery on them and just had the MRI to hopefully confirm that they are gone.

Please don't give up hope. There are SO many options out there.

Hugs to you and your family.
Debbie
Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2007 10:49PM mom2acat wrote:

Antonio, I am keeping you all in my prayers.

Original dx stage II, May 2003; bone mets April 2007 Dx 4/8/2007, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 5/19 nodes, mets, ER+
Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 09:08AM Antonio wrote:

thank you ladies for your responses.today i had a doctor give me a sheet of paper that would entitle me to apply for caregiver.on the form there was a check mark beside a quote that said"this person is at significant risk of dying within the next 6 months"he told me it's a standard form for people applying for caregiver role,then he throws in, "but from a scientific point of view i'd say about 3 months",i'm like WTF who asked you.i never said anything to my wife because since this hole ordeal i have never fed her any negativity and i'm sure not going to start now.we are still waiting for here onc.to come and see us.i really hope there not going to give up on her because she is not giving up by any means.i can't get that comment out of my head.

Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 09:13AM AusAla wrote:

What an idiot for saying that to you! You just continue to concentrate on taking care of your wife and yourself. You are an awesome husband and caregiver.

Prayers to you and your wife with healing and positive thoughts,
Bethie
"I don't want to be in a battle, but waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse! Pippin, Lord of the Ring: Return of the King Dx 5/13/2002, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 3/17 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 10:36AM sportycath wrote:

Antonio,
Sooo many of us have been given such a short prognosis - I was given 6 mths (twice) back late 2006. Since then things are worse but I'm still alive, kicking and ready to live a lot longer. I think they want to cover their butts somehow! Take Care Cathy
Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 01:12PM katie11 wrote:

Antonio,

I am genuinely shocked a doctor said that to you - how can he possibly know how your wife will respond to treatment? How insensitive! I remember reading on these boards that we should 'accept the diagnosis and not the prognosis.' I live by that! No doctor has ever given me a time frame - my onc has always said that stage 4 bc is like a chronic disease that can be controlled for many years.

Good luck with the new treatment!

Katie
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst! Dx 7/15/2006, ILC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 03:30PM WendyV wrote:

GRRRRRR - what a terrible thing to say. I am so sorry that this was said to you and I can imagine how very difficult it is to get those thoughts out of your head. I think you just need to tell yourself that your onc is an idiot and hasn't got a clue. Doctor's can't put a timeline on us. They don't know how we will respond to treatment, they just don't know! Don't lose hope Antonio!
Wendy
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.( bone,liver,brain,lung mets) Dx 10/9/2006, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 06:43PM jansdaughter wrote:

Stay strong Antonio. Doctors don't know squat about the time ALL of us have on this earth. I know that first hand. That doctor is a human being just like you and me. You just keep hoping, keep praying, and hang in there! We're all here for you and your wife. Dianne

Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 07:06PM - edited Mar 20, 2008 03:17AM by TenderIsOurMight

Quote:
then he throws in, "but from a scientific point of view i'd say about 3 months",i'm like WTF who asked you.i can't get that comment out of my head.



Remember the days when medicine was considered "both an art and a science"?

Tender
It cannot be emphasized too strongly that treatment of each patient is a highly individualized matter. (FDA-approved labeling for warfarin (Coumadin) NDA 9-218/5-105)
Log in to post a reply

Aug 15, 2007 08:59PM jacqniel wrote:

So infuriating! Only God knows when our last day on earth is - not a mortal onc. Do not give it another thougt.
Hugs, Jacque
Log in to post a reply

Aug 16, 2007 07:48PM ozzie2 wrote:

Gee's what a Dr...sack him he's not worth a pinch of salt...I only pray that he is never in your shoes...
Antonio hang in there mate, each day is a new one onwards and upwards...
DCIS and IDC 96. ER/PR + HER2- bone skin mets06 ,Lung mets May08

Page 1 of 1 (20 results)