Topic: The solution to painful intercourse!!!!!! Yipeee!

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer — Please respect that this forum is for members with stage IV/metastatic breast cancer ONLY. There is a separate forum for caregivers and friends: Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets.

Posted on: Oct 11, 2011 02:15PM

Posted on: Oct 11, 2011 02:15PM

LivingIt wrote:

Like so many of us, chemo, hormones and surgery have made my marital relations very very painful. Since all this started my DH and I have tried a total of 4 times over 2 years. That is soo sad I know. But it was so very painful I bled for 2 days after try number 3. Then I decided I wanted to try again cause Im so crazy about this guy. We had a date night and I did two things that ended up making me feel like I was 21 again (or a newly wed or however you want to think about it).

1) Scream Cream (thanks K-Lo)

2) 5% Lidocaine Ointment.

The first brings blood to the area and hightens sensation like you cant believe. The second makes the tearing pain DISAPPEAR!!!!

To get scream cream I brought this page to my onc and he wrote the script and I paid about $30. The lidocaine was perscribed for my neuropathic feet so it was free/insurance. 

I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could tell everybody who ever got chemo. I hope you try it if you have this problem.  

Zoh - Don't Postpone Joy!!!! 11/07 AC +Taxotere, then Tamoxifen x2yrs. Aromasin x 6 months, Taxotere x 1.5 yrs, Abraxane 2months, Tamoxifen 1 month, Xeloda Diva x 1 month crazy progression - Gemzar/Faslodex/Xgeva Dx 11/11/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 11, 2011 06:25PM debstar wrote:

I have a female onc. and I cannot wait to ask for a presciption for this I miss sex with my hubby soooo much and I know its the different drugs doing this, thank you soooo much!!!!!

 debbie 

Dx 5/2007, Stage IV, mets, ER+, HER2-
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Oct 11, 2011 06:34PM K-Lo wrote:

Zoh, you little devil.

Scream Cream is by prescription:
http://compoundingtoday.com/CNLSharedInfo/DownloadPDF.cfm?Item=Scream_Cream_Handout.pdf

Kathy Dx 8/30/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, 8/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 11, 2011 06:54PM justjudie wrote:

All I can say is I am glad to see so many women here still interested in sex!! Thats a good healthy thing to still have sexual desire although you have been through so much. L' Chaim!! To Life!!


Judie

Judie Dx 3/31/2010, IDC, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 11, 2011 06:54PM jancie wrote:

Sorry for busting in but I have been complaining to my oncologist, gynocologist and urologist about this same issue since having chemo 2 years ago!

Printed out the scream cream - I see my oncologist next month.

What are the details about the lidocaine?  I have been using a dilator at the request of my gynocologist but even though I use it every night - IT STILL HURTS!! 

I was even wondering earlier today if they couldn't cut me in there to make me wider because that dilator is too "girthy" for me.  I know,  TMI.

Please.....more details on the lidocaine!

Never Alone - My TaTa Sisters are always with me! Dx 12/30/2008, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 03:54AM LivingIt wrote:

Scream Cream is by prescription: 

compoundingtoday.com/CNLShared... 

Lidocaine OINTMENT 5%:  

Both are gooey ointments to be applied LIBERALLY externally. (who can even apply anything internally without pain anyway??)

They both do thier thing within minutes.

Jancie, I know what you mean! I felt like I had a rubber band at the entrance and it tore each of the times we tried. Aweful.

The lidocane numbs that area while the scream cream brings circulation and sensation to the area so that it loosens up the way it naturally would.

I think the dilator may have been the idea of a male doc..Do try using the lidocane scream combo with the dilator. I think you'll get good resultsWink

Astroglide: I have used this and it does help some for sure, but it didnt change the pain and it didnt change the fact that my "area" didn't respond in any way to sex. So the three together worked well. I did use a lube, I forgot to mention cause it wasn't new to me.

Any reports yet???

PS: DH hung around hopefully last night (first time in three years) but the kids were both in and out of bed till 2:00AM..   ha ha ha.. itsn that the way.  

Zoh - Don't Postpone Joy!!!! 11/07 AC +Taxotere, then Tamoxifen x2yrs. Aromasin x 6 months, Taxotere x 1.5 yrs, Abraxane 2months, Tamoxifen 1 month, Xeloda Diva x 1 month crazy progression - Gemzar/Faslodex/Xgeva Dx 11/11/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 04:25AM apple wrote:

i am so jealous of you guys.. 'we' have an unspoken contract of sorts with which i dutifully and rarely happily comply.. but that's because i have absolutely no libido whatsoever.. i've never had any libido.. it's like i am a sexual autistic. unless i am extremely stoned and that is certainly not going to happen these days.

once every two or three days.  i would love a sex free life.  HOWEVER, for my husband's sake i will definitely check into this scream dream thing.  I''m sure he'll love it.  how big is a tube?

peace and love, apple - ..... Mary Magdalen Dx 4/10/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, mets, ER+, HER2+
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Oct 12, 2011 04:43AM kriserts wrote:

It's still not clear to me. You apply lidocaine to the inside of your vagina?

My gyno has recommended Yes lubes, because they're "cleaner" than K-Y: www.yesyesyes.org/

But if lidocaine can help with the stinging pain, that would be great.

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Oct 12, 2011 05:05AM Del11 wrote:

Yes is great. Organic. Made in the UK, I think?  There's a water-based version and an oil-based version (I have both).  My gyn-onc recommends the oil-based because she thinks it works better and longer, but it's  little messier than the water-based version.

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Oct 12, 2011 05:31AM LivingIt wrote:

Kriserts: Heres the how to. 

Scream Cream is in a sort of pot shaped like a pill bottle or something. I just dip in a finger and take out a glob about a 1/2 teaspoon. Maybe more. I smooth this over my clitoral area and over the labia. If it is not painful I part the labia and put a bit in there, but ususally it stings so I don't.

A bit later when penetration is about to happen I squeeze a big teaspoon of lidocaine ointment (not liquid) out of the tube. (its like a toothpaste tube) and spread that over the labia parting the labia so that I can get a good glob on the bottom of the vaginal opening. I get the most pain at the part of the vaginal opening nearest the anus. By the time Ive had the lidocaine in contact with my skin for 20 seconds or so, I can insert my finger about an inch into the vagina to get some of the lidocaine inside. I think that slow penetration would also do this, so the only thing would be to have a nice amount of lidocaine ointment on the labia so that it can be smeared around by intercourse.

I did find that at first both the scream cream and the lidocaine gave me a bit of stinging even around the urethra. But it passed quickly. After sex I took a quart of warm water in a plastic jar and gently rinsed the whole vulva as I didn't want those ointments sitting on my tender skin or causing me a urinary tract irritation.

Writing this I remember the scene in Apollo 13 where the scientists on the earth had to figure out how to tell the astronauts how to build an air filter using socks...

Anyhow. I hope that makes things easier.

Take home message:  Lots of gloop on the outside. Scream on top for clitoral area, Lidocaine on vaginal opening for pain. Intercourse or finger can be used to get lidocaine inside. Rinse afterward to avoid UTI.  

Zoh - Don't Postpone Joy!!!! 11/07 AC +Taxotere, then Tamoxifen x2yrs. Aromasin x 6 months, Taxotere x 1.5 yrs, Abraxane 2months, Tamoxifen 1 month, Xeloda Diva x 1 month crazy progression - Gemzar/Faslodex/Xgeva Dx 11/11/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 05:45AM sueopp wrote:

Jolly good for each of you!  I am an old lady, but still love the romance.  Thanks to each for sharing - we are all truly sisters - Sue

Dx 12/2010, IDC, Stage IV, 26/35 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+

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