Topic: The solution to painful intercourse!!!!!! Yipeee!

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer — Please respect that this forum is for members with stage IV/metastatic breast cancer ONLY. There is a separate forum for caregivers and friends: Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets.

Posted on: Oct 11, 2011 05:15PM

Posted on: Oct 11, 2011 05:15PM

LivingIt wrote:

Like so many of us, chemo, hormones and surgery have made my marital relations very very painful. Since all this started my DH and I have tried a total of 4 times over 2 years. That is soo sad I know. But it was so very painful I bled for 2 days after try number 3. Then I decided I wanted to try again cause Im so crazy about this guy. We had a date night and I did two things that ended up making me feel like I was 21 again (or a newly wed or however you want to think about it).

1) Scream Cream (thanks K-Lo)

2) 5% Lidocaine Ointment.

The first brings blood to the area and hightens sensation like you cant believe. The second makes the tearing pain DISAPPEAR!!!!

To get scream cream I brought this page to my onc and he wrote the script and I paid about $30. The lidocaine was perscribed for my neuropathic feet so it was free/insurance. 

I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could tell everybody who ever got chemo. I hope you try it if you have this problem.  

Zoh - Don't Postpone Joy!!!! 11/07 AC +Taxotere, then Tamoxifen x2yrs. Aromasin x 6 months, Taxotere x 1.5 yrs, Abraxane 2months, Tamoxifen 1 month, Xeloda Diva x 1 month crazy progression - Gemzar/Faslodex/Xgeva Dx 11/11/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 08:55AM Bernicky wrote:

4 times in 2 years! Wow that's 4 times more than some of us.

Good posting and I am sure more people have read it than are willing to post a response but the advice is going to be valuable to many who are still willing of spirit.

Denis - - Life its own self.
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Oct 12, 2011 09:15AM Lynn1 wrote:

You said the lidocane was a prescription.  Do you know if it is only available that way, or could you buy something at the drugstore?

I think if I could get past the pain, the rest would be ok, so I'm quite interested in this.  Thank you for sharing all this information!!!  Only here can one be so open and honest.  It is very much appreciated.

~Lynn ER+, HER2- Bone mets: sternum, pelvis, spine,'s everywhere. Started Afinitor/Femara 10/15/12
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Oct 12, 2011 09:22AM jenn3 wrote:

Livingit - thank you so very much for the details.  After typing my post yesterday I remembered that I have a gyn appt later this week and will ask her about both scream cream and lidocaine.  I would love to be more intimate with my DH.  He is so patient and understanding, but I still feel terrible for him.

Jenn - June 2009 IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV mets to the lungs & spine / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........
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Oct 12, 2011 09:57AM - edited Oct 12, 2011 09:59AM by Stiney

Ladies. Excuse me for butting in. My name's Stiney and my partner was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer last December at age 36. In February we were at the C4YW conference in Orlando and Pure Romance was there with their intimate products.
I was blown away by how much care the company put into getting products for women going through cancer that I ended up becoming a consultant.
We actually have great things to help with your intimacy issues, that I know about myself.
We have this AMAZING lubricant called Just Like Me. It's PH balanced so it won't throw you out of whack and it actually works with your body to help you retain moisture.
It's water based and contains no sugars even though it's edible. ;)
We also have an amazing arousal cream called X-Scream. It's actually unisex so you can both use it and it's also edible.
We have dilator sets and oil to help with stretch marks and scars that are in our SSS line, which stands for Sensuality, Sexuality, Survival.
I feel weird busting in on the conversation but I just wanted to let you know about the great products that I can personally vouch for.
My website is
We're a great company that's focused on sexual education and health of women all over the world.

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Oct 12, 2011 10:32AM 3katz wrote:

This is great info - thanks for sharing. Now if there was just a simple aphrodisiac (sp?) to get the libido going . . . sigh! My poor, poor hubby . . . my mojo has left this planet.
Amy D - orig dx 2005, stage III / recur-mets Stage IV dx 2008, multiple bone lesions / er/pr+, her2neu+++ / Dx 5-2010 brain met
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Oct 12, 2011 10:44AM apple wrote:

edible... eeew


peace and love, apple - ..... Mary Magdalen Dx 4/10/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, mets, ER+, HER2+
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Oct 12, 2011 11:17AM K-Lo wrote:

I have Scream Cream for MY sake. Sometimes I'll tell DH " hey I have scream cream" and raise my eyebrows up and down. He's the one afraid to tire my body, but we get cozy now and then.

I have placed SC only inside and it helped the entire process. something loosened up the walls and made more pleasure than pain.

Kathy Dx 8/30/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, 8/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 12:31PM Kaara wrote:

Great info...thanks!  I haven't started any treatment, but just from having my complete hysterectomy and lowering my HRT dose dramatically, I am having some problems, so can only imagine what everyone else is experiencing.  If guys were having these problems it would be blasted all over the internet, and on every TV show!  Thank goodness we have each other to share with.

Kaara Dx 11/14/2011, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 12:48PM jancie wrote:

I am back!!!!  Thanks for the details on how to use the products.

Besides feeling like the outside is tearing as it is all pushed inside for penetration - my main pain is about 3' inside of the vagina.  There seems to be a muscle there that does not want to stretch which is why the dilator is not working but the vibrator that I have that is skinny is fine.  However my dh is built like the dilator.  I figured if anything get the blood flowing in that area should help.  Been working on this nightly for about 2 weeks without much success.

So my question is about the lidocain does it numb you?  I keep thinking about this friend that went to a sex party (can't remember the name of it) but it is where you buy all of these great products to enhance your sex life.  Her problem was that her husband was quick to fire.  So she got some numbing gel and put it on him.  Her mistake was to give him a blow job with that gel on him and it numbed her entire mouth.  I still giggle when I think about this.

Does the lidocain get rid of pain or is it also a numbing agent because I don't want my dh to get numb in the middle of all of this.

Never Alone - My TaTa Sisters are always with me! Dx 12/30/2008, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 03:51PM billiegirl wrote:

I buy a product from Swanson Vitamins (on line) called Arginine Arousal Gel. Works wonders. And if you don't have lidocaine, maybe Oragel would work...I used that on hemorrhoids during chemo.I am getting married in 2 weeks and have been "worrying" about this sensitive issue also.

Billiegirl Dx 9/21/2004, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 31/31 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+

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