Topic: The solution to painful intercourse!!!!!! Yipeee!

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer — Please respect that this forum is for members with stage IV/metastatic breast cancer ONLY. There is a separate forum for caregivers and friends: Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets.

Posted on: Oct 11, 2011 02:15PM

Posted on: Oct 11, 2011 02:15PM

LivingIt wrote:

Like so many of us, chemo, hormones and surgery have made my marital relations very very painful. Since all this started my DH and I have tried a total of 4 times over 2 years. That is soo sad I know. But it was so very painful I bled for 2 days after try number 3. Then I decided I wanted to try again cause Im so crazy about this guy. We had a date night and I did two things that ended up making me feel like I was 21 again (or a newly wed or however you want to think about it).

1) Scream Cream (thanks K-Lo)

2) 5% Lidocaine Ointment.

The first brings blood to the area and hightens sensation like you cant believe. The second makes the tearing pain DISAPPEAR!!!!

To get scream cream I brought this page to my onc and he wrote the script and I paid about $30. The lidocaine was perscribed for my neuropathic feet so it was free/insurance. 

I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could tell everybody who ever got chemo. I hope you try it if you have this problem.  

Zoh - Don't Postpone Joy!!!! 11/07 AC +Taxotere, then Tamoxifen x2yrs. Aromasin x 6 months, Taxotere x 1.5 yrs, Abraxane 2months, Tamoxifen 1 month, Xeloda Diva x 1 month crazy progression - Gemzar/Faslodex/Xgeva Dx 11/11/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 12:59PM LtotheK wrote:

Cool info!  I have used lube for years, before cancer.  I like Yes, tried that whole line.  But it doesn't hold a candle to Astroglide, which is much more, eew....mucous-like.

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Oct 12, 2011 05:03PM vickib wrote:

Woohoo! I am going to ask the Dr for some of that. We are on a once a year plan and I hate it!!

Vicki B. Cincinnati, OH Dx 3/3/2006, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 12/17 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Oct 12, 2011 05:19PM orange1 wrote:

Another cream that really helps intensify physical pleasure is "KY INTENSE".  Its over $20 for a tiny tube, but it only takes a drop on the clitoris to really intesify feeling.  Its made with niacin (another vasodialtor) so it stinks a little, but really works, and is available at Walgreens.

Dx 8/2007, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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Oct 12, 2011 05:50PM kriserts wrote:

Thanks so much for the detailed instructions LivingIt!! Haven't had sex for a long time but I hope to again some day, and this info helps. :)

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Oct 12, 2011 07:26PM marjie wrote:

I am so glad I found this thread.  I have EMLA cream (lidocaine) for my port, but heck I'll give it a try!!  Ordinary lubricants don't really help with the pain - copius amounts of alcohol take the "fear" away and make it a bit easier.  I'm going to ask my doctor about the scream cream and take a look in some of those "love shops" to see if I can find any.

I recently got a survey from the cancer centre about my treatment....there were almost 100 questions about my treatment, the staff of the cancer centre, all kinds of things.  One of the questions was "Were you told about how your treatments would affect your sexual function?".  I was like ...hmmmm....well, NO!

Treatment: Rt Lump/SNB Aug 2010, FECx3/Tx3, radsx25+8, Herceptin x18 Dx 7/13/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Oct 13, 2011 03:52PM china wrote:

SEX? What is that? My poor DH is so patient. We cuddle alot, hug and kiss but my recent chemo destroyed that part of my life. Way too painful and no sex drive either. Too tired from chemo, counts too crappy ect  now on a new tmt but the after effects of chemo still linger. Arrgh. I will have to get drunk, then get numb, then get excited...umm to counteract my fear from previous painful relations. Dawn

Dx 4/6/2007, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 13, 2011 09:51PM - edited Oct 14, 2011 08:59PM by chrisct

Rx Lidocaine is probably what is needed, but if anyone has just a little pain, Nupercainal is an OTC product marketed for hemorrhoids that contains dibucaine - which is what I was given after my episiotomy way back when.  Might not be strong enough, but I thought I'd mention it.

Dx 2/5/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 27, 2011 07:49PM lulubee wrote:

Oh wow, how on earth did I miss this thread?   

Livingit, you're a rockstar.  Thank you for letting us all crawl in bed with you... ummm, so to speak! Bwahahaha!

Seriously, (ahem)... I'm taking notes, and I'm s-l-ightly hopeful now.  Right now I'm really glad my onc is female; I don't know if I could actually say the words "Scream Cream" to a male onc!

So... has anyone else tried Livingit's goop cocktail? 

~lulubee

8/07: ILC & IDC, multi-focal/multicentric, ER+PR+ Her2-, no nodes. BMX+lat flap. 10/10: STAGE IV ILC bones, ovary & pericardium. 12/13 progression: bones & bile duct. 12/16 progression: bones & pericardium. 8/18 progression: bones. Hormonal Therapy 11/5/2010 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 11/5/2010 Hormonal Therapy 1/31/2012 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy 5/14/2012 Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy 5/14/2012 Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy 9/30/2013 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 3/12/2019 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 3/12/2019 Verzenio Targeted Therapy 9/23/2020 Piqray (alpelisib) Chemotherapy 3/3/2022 Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy translation missing: en.treatments.chemotherapy.chemotherapy_regimen.options.short_drugs.microtubules_inhibitor.halaven
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Oct 27, 2011 08:00PM K-Lo wrote:

Yes, Zohs post encouraged me to experiment. For me, Scream Cream externally AND internally made the entire connection comfortable. It took time for my bod to relax ith the cream exposure. If I could swab every inch 10 minutes before I think it would be perfect.

Kathy Dx 8/30/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, 8/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 27, 2011 08:36PM LivingIt wrote:

My new product line:

Zoh's Goop Cocktail

Now in convenient "pearls".

Ah, the missed opportunities. sigh... 

Zoh - Don't Postpone Joy!!!! 11/07 AC +Taxotere, then Tamoxifen x2yrs. Aromasin x 6 months, Taxotere x 1.5 yrs, Abraxane 2months, Tamoxifen 1 month, Xeloda Diva x 1 month crazy progression - Gemzar/Faslodex/Xgeva Dx 11/11/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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