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Mar 3, 2012 10:30PM
Mar 3, 2012 10:41PM
What a thoughtful post, gentianviolet!
With the people I am close to, like my best friend or one of my kids, I usually tell them when I'm having a scan or a certain test. It's really heartwarming when I get an email from my son asking "How did your scan go on Wednesday," or "Did you get your results yet?" from my best friend.It makes me realize they are thinking about me and know that this is important, and may be life-changing in terms of treatments.
The rest of the time, like others who posted above, I prefer my friends act as they always have. I still care about their problems, and want to hear about them providing they are sharing something that is important to them, like family issues or work problems. I still wantt them to come to me if they need support in some way, like they always have. What I am less sympathetic to is listening to complaints about minor physical ailments, petty gossip or a lot of negative energy directed at the world in general. I find I want to spend my precious time on earth enjoying the laughter and love of my friends and family, and also being there for them when they might need me.
The only things I can think of not to say or ask is anything that might imply that she didn't take good enough care of herself, or any suggestion that eating a certain thing or taking a certain drug would have changed her outcome. It's hard to imagine that someone who would post the kind of sensitive question that you posted would do that anyway, but for anyone reading, I'd caution that these kinds of suggestions can seem a bit critical and judgemental. As a woman who is battling the disease herself, I doubt that I need to tell you that! ;)
I wish the best for your friend, and she's lucky to have you.
- 4/2015- Mets to liver. 6/2011-Mets to spine, ribs, and skull, 6/2011 radiation, Xgeva and Faslodex 7/2011
11/2007, IDC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
1/10/2008 Aromasin (exemestane)
6/2011, IDC, mets
7/15/2011 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
4/10/2015 Femara (letrozole)
4/20/2015 Ibrance (palbociclib)
8/3/2015 Xeloda (capecitabine)
3/11/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)