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Feb 5, 2013 07:52AM
Totally freaking out. I am 2 months past my 3 year "all clear", with TN IBC, and I will be damned if 3 weeks ago, on a fluke, a chest x-ray picked up something "abnormal" in my lung, which was biopsied a week ago -- and it is BC again. For the back story of what happened to lead me to have the x-ray, just do a search my my user name for my last posts. Up until the week after I had that xray and got the "something is wrong news" i had had not one pain or twinge that anything was up. I was still going to the gym, cycling, yoga 2 times a week etc. etc. It is like a firework suddenly went off on my insides.
Yesterday I learned mets to liver and lungs. having PET and CT tomorrow to see jsut where else this has gone. For 3 years I have gone to the gym 3-4 times a week, kept my fat low, you name it. I thinkperhapes those life style change salone may have been the things that allowed me to put off recurrence for so long ( as TN tends to come back rather rapidly many times).
My Onc. has been of the "wait and see" background - which I can kind of understand - because a lot of the tests can give you false positives, AND most cannot see things less tham 1 cm. They watch the bloodwork like a hawk, and any change there would I guess indicate an internal chage. BUT, with me, all my blood labs have been normal. I even heard him say yesterday that my blood labs were compltely fine and normal.
Port gets put in later this week, chemo starts on Monday. Onc wants to start with Navelbine. Any other Stage 4 Tn's out here that can give me some inspiration? I am beyond depressed, crying every chance I get. I have two young children, and this all is breaking my heart AGAIN. originally my littles were 2 and 4 ... now they are turning 6 and 8. After 3 years, I had really "mended" my previous breaks form the first diagnosis. Now I feel as though everything has been shattered again. Every ache and pain I have now (seems like a ton of things have started to "bark" over the past week).
I have been living on Xanax for the past 2 weeks or so. Onc. prescribed an antidepressant and I will be gettign it this afternoon. I was holding off telling my parents until I kknew more bec I did not want to call them up and give them a lot of "i dunno" to thier questions. Now I have the info, and a plan, I can tell them things more clearly.
can anyone out there offer a hand, as mentally, I feel as though i am falling off a cliff?
dx 11/5/09, age 39, IDC, BRCA+
11/13/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/11 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
2/2013, IDC, Stage IV, ER-/PR-, HER2-