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Aug 25, 2016 10:36PM
KJones, congrats on the kindergarten milestone!!! Such a great story to hear. I hope to make it there (and much further).
Kaayborg, the shared journal is a great idea. I haven't done anything yet for the same reasons you mention . . . But am also worried things might come swift and severe when it is "that time". I hope I don't get caught off guard but am just not ready yet.
Debie, your daughter is so sweet! Happy smile.
My little guy (20 months) starts preschool on Monday. It is essentially an alternative to daycare because he is so young but it is nevertheless his first day of school and I can't wait to see him in his little uniform!
I don't know about any of you but I find it difficult to bargain with myself (e.g., "If I can stick around until he is old enough to have some memory of me or see him to kindergarten, that is all I ask for"). No compromise is enough for me and I am so sad that it is a reality that my time with my son will be cut short. For some reason, I find it harder now, over a year and a half since mets diagnosis, than in the beginning. Maybe that is because I have experienced one treatment failure and have seen many women on these boards pass since then. It always seems like a surprise when/how it all happens. No matter how many women I have seen pass since my early stage dx 11 years ago, I never feel like I am any closer to understanding the path of this disease when it takes a turn for the worst. It is an unpredictable beast.
I pray for all of us and everyone on these boards. Pray for more time, more meds to hold this disease at bay until a cure or predictably long-term treatment is found. Pray that our families will heal from the pain of a stage 4 dx while we are still alive as well as when we are gone. And pray that our children will remember us as a positive inspiration when they find themselves missing us, to give them strength to go for their dreams and give them resilience to weather the storms they will face in life. I also pray that our loved ones will find other sources of love and support, to fill the void we leave, all the while celebrating and remembering the positive, one-of-a-kind memories they have with us.
Chart your own course. Dx at 30. Dx with mets at 38 while pregnant - extensive liver & bone involvement. Currently on Enhertu & XGeva. ER+/PR+, HER2-low (IHC equivocal, +2/FISH negative). Y90 liver radioembolization in 2018.
9/2006, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/16 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH)
9/22/2006 Mastectomy: Left, Right
11/6/2006 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
3/15/2007 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
12/2014, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2-
12/26/2014 Prophylactic ovary removal
12/26/2014 Aromasin (exemestane), Faslodex (fulvestrant)
6/18/2015 Ibrance (palbociclib)
3/10/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine)
5/14/2017 Aromasin (exemestane)
5/14/2017 Afinitor (everolimus)
8/18/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel)
3/23/2018 Doxil (doxorubicin)
4/26/2019 Navelbine (vinorelbine)
4/26/2019 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
11/27/2019 Gemzar (gemcitabine)
8/25/2020 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
8/25/2020 Piqray (alpelisib)
10/2/2020 Enhertu (fam-trastuzumab deruxtecan-nxki)