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Nov 25, 2016 10:55PM
Girl Warrior. I am so sorry. I would start now, slowly. You have a good counselor who can give you tools and strategies. However, I don't think there is any right way. I just stumbled through it. You can start anywhere and your daughter will ask what she needs to know.
My experience with kids is that it takes a while for them to process the information. They appear fine because they don't fully grasp what is going on. There are a lot of new concepts. It's been almost a year since my original diagnosis. I've been straight with my kids, now 10 and 13, from the beginning. I've laid down the facts as I understand them simply. I've done it several times. We've watched programs about cancer, we talk about other the experience of other families dealing with cancer. I respond to their questions truthfully as they come up. Even after 9 months, they are still grasping the concepts, new questions and emotions come up all the time. And it's a dialogue. I need time myself to think and respond.
In general, I have been astonished by my children's resilience and wisdom. Communicating with them has given them a sense that I have confidence that they can handle this, and I do. I have also found them resourceful in getting help. Both girls realized fairly quickly that they had in their own circle of friends, children who's parents had cancer or other serious chronic illnesses. They have found in those friends a network of support. Their families have been dealing with these things in their own ways.
My kids give me strength. They know this and that in turn gives them confidence and strengthens our bond. Confidence and a sense that we are connected forever, whatever happens, is what I want to leave them. So that is my strategy.
Xmas is a good time with family and friends near to support your child as she processes what is going on. I wouldn't wait until you are more symptomatic and distracted by medical decisions and your health. This is the ultimate parenting opportunity. You want to be fully present and you need time. But you and your daughter are both going to need help from others. Xmas is a good time for both of you to build that network.
Finally, I deeply respect that you are facing your progression and the possibility that you may die. However, I am praying for your full recovery.
Ibrance/Letrozol Feb '16 -Sep '17. Adoptive Cell Therapy Oct 2017. Jan 2018 SBRT to sternum met and liver mets. Jan 2018 start Faslodex.
12/28/2015, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2-
1/17/2016 Femara (letrozole)
2/2/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib)