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Topic: Crossroads

Forum: Stage IV and Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY —

A place for those managing the ups & downs of a Stage IV/metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. Please respect that this forum is for Stage IV members only. There is a separate forum For Family and Caregivers of People with a STAGE IV Diagnosis.

Posted on: Sep 14, 2018 03:38PM

finallyoverit wrote:

I feel like I’m at a crossroad and need to make a decision. I have a very stressful, high expectation job. Can’t say that I love it, but then again I don’t hate it either.

I’m feeling good now but as we all know, that can change at any time.

I’m starting to get the nagging feeling that I need to make a job change. I just don’t want to be this stresssd out for whatever time I have left... whether it is 2 months or 20 years.

Part of me wants to say screw it and go out on disability but that really won’t work either. I’m single and the amount of ssdi I would receive would not cover my monthly expenses.. let alone the medical insurance issue.

Sigh... I just feel stuck. Not a fun feeling to have. Thanks for listening to me vent, ladies. It’s nice to talk to people who get it.

Dx 10/2011, IDC, Stage IIA, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 5/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone
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Sep 14, 2018 04:21PM illimae wrote:

I was there about a year ago, I work(ed) for state government handling contracts (routine and emergency) and a 100 million dollar budget. It’s stressful work, then add hurricanes and floods during treatment, ugh. I gave my bosses a 1 year warning and time to hire replacements for me to train. Soon after brain mets were discovered and I knew I wouldn’t be able to work at my previous level, so I kept it going through July, then took sick leave.

Now, I’ve been home over a month and I am bored out of my mind. I’ve been cooking and going to the gym but I realize some people aren’t made to sit around. Perhaps, you could find something part time or at least less stressful? Good luck 🙂

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 1/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to brain Radiation Therapy 10/20/2017 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External: Brain Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Sep 17, 2018 04:34PM pajim wrote:

Finallyoverit, this is hard. Particularly if you don't love your job. right now I feel as Illimae, I couldn't sit around if I wanted to. But the more treatments I get the more tired I'm feeling and the less like going to work.

Do your employers value you? Do you have a good relationship with them? Maybe you can broker a deal. A less stressful job for a bit less (or the same) money. Or a 3-day-a-week job for 60% dollars assuming that's enough for you to live on. And you could keep your insurance. [you didn't say what you do so I don't know if that's a possibility]


Dx 4/20/2008, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2/1/2013, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 2/27/2013 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 2/25/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 6/19/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy 8/15/2018 Verzenio Hormonal Therapy 8/15/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Sep 17, 2018 04:49PM - edited Sep 17, 2018 04:51PM by LovefromPhilly

I say get out of the stressful job you don't love!! This diagnosis is an amazing wake up call for all of us who sometimes linger a little too long in things we should've gotten out of long ago, whether it be toxic relationships, jobs, familial stressors, financial debts.

Everyone has their path - After I started treatment I ended up filing bankruptcy and going down from a 6 day work week to a 3 day work week (I own my own business). Best decision I ever made!!!

On the days I have off, I go to the gym, go to the supermarket, i take naps, I cook healthy meals and do all the that help me THRIVE, not just survive with cancer.

Whenever I start to question if I should be working more, my friends remind me of how much I am currently thriving with the pace I am taking life now.

I like the idea of a part time gig. And perhaps your office would be willing to negotiate that with you or you can start working on that resume and pursue something more gentle

With Love From Philly Dx 3/25/2017, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Sep 17, 2018 04:55PM finallyoverit wrote:

Thanks, ladies. I just don’t know what to do. I come home from work absolutely exhausted mentally and physically. I have no idea how much time I have left, but do I want to spend it like this?! I’m single so finances are also a constant worry. It never freaking ends. I appreciate your support more than I can put into words. It’s a whole other story, but I will no longer share any medical or really other information with my family. I’ll apologize in advance if I ask for advice on things. It really helps to talk to those who get it.

I’ve started looking around for other openings... we will see what happens. Unfortunately, I can’t just jump ship.. that is unless I win the lottery. It really sucks to be in a job and a body that I really don’t want to be in.. but alas, this is my reality

Dx 10/2011, IDC, Stage IIA, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 5/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone
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Sep 17, 2018 05:09PM pajim wrote:

It's hard being single. Those of us with spouses have someone to bounce ideas off of. When you're on your own that doesn't exist unless you have a good friend.

When my Dad died my Mom started asking me for advice on stuff. We both figured out that it wasn't that she didn't know what to do -- she just was used to having someone else to discuss it with.

These forums are good for that! I've always gotten good advice.

Dx 4/20/2008, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2/1/2013, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 2/27/2013 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 2/25/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 6/19/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy 8/15/2018 Verzenio Hormonal Therapy 8/15/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Sep 17, 2018 05:25PM LovefromPhilly wrote:

vent and process away!!

I am single too. So I get it with the finances. I live off very little income and I just budget.

I save $$ for traveling when I can and honestly I am just finally starting to put away a teeny bit of $$ into a savings account. It’s a slow and arduous process and sometimes I eat rice and beans but fortunately I love rice and beans!!! Yum!!


With Love From Philly Dx 3/25/2017, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Sep 17, 2018 05:58PM JFL wrote:

Finallyoverit, I will be thinking about you and keeping fingers crossed that a new, positive opportunity comes through. Sometimes things can change very quickly - with a new job opening becoming available either outside your work or within. I hope that happens for you. I have interviewed and explored new jobs since being dx'd with mets. I did in fact make one job change but it was internal in my company. Taking steps to search for new opportunities made me feel better in and of itself. I would recommend floating the idea you are looking with your friends, colleagues and/or boss (as you reasonably and safely can do, given what is going on at your workplace), aquaintances, etc. Put it out there. You never know who will remember you said you were looking and come back to you with a lead or who will want to help you. Sometimes it is people you would not expect, people you don't know very well - who either have a direct or indirect lead or see a listing that you missed and that ends up being a perfect fit.

Philly, working part time sounds nice! Enjoy.

Chart your own course. Dx at 30. Dx with mets at 38 while pregnant. Extensive liver and bone involvement. Currently on Doxil and XGeva. Recently had Y90 liver radioembolization. ER+/PR+, HER2 equivocal (IHC)/negative (FISH) as of 8/2017 liver biopsy. Dx 9/2006, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 9/22/2006 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 11/5/2006 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/15/2007 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 12/2014, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 12/26/2014 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 12/26/2014 Aromasin (exemestane), Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 6/18/2015 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 3/10/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 5/13/2017 Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy 5/13/2017 Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy 8/17/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 3/22/2018 Doxil (doxorubicin) Radiation Therapy 4/8/2018 Liver

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