Topic: How to find mental health resources

Aug 14, 2019 03:20PM candy-678 wrote:

I come here for my support. I live in a rural area and we do not have a cancer support group in my area ( I checked ). I wanted to go see a counselor, just to talk it all out. I called a counseling center in my area. I have health insurance, but it was going to cost me $35 per session - after my deductible. So if I went once a week that is $140 a month out of pocket. Cannot do that when pinching pennies due to quitting work and going on SSD. I get my treatment at our local cancer center which does not have social workers or access to a counselor. I heard some larger facilities have mental health services INCLUDED for the patients. Not mine. When I go for my appointments the nurse asks the standard questions about depression, but never offers any advise on how to treat it. I think "if you are not going to offer help, why ask the questions". I do think that with our diagnosis- MBC- that mental health should be included in our care. Standard. Same as prescribing the standard meds to treat the cancer. But mental health is definitely overlooked.

Aug 14, 2019 05:33PM LoveFromPhilly wrote:

Mental/emotional health is incredibly important to me. I have used several avenues to find the perfect blend of support including:

1) When I was diagnosed, I saw a couple different therapists before settling in on one woman who is a psychologist. We just clicked and I knew I was home. 2+ years later and I still see her every other week, or more, if there is a need. Initially, I was seeing her 2x/week, then went to 1x/week and now down to 1x/every two weeks which feels good for me right now. She has REALLY helped me get my life on track after having the diagnosis. We have worked through the stress, anxiety, difficult convos with family and friends, and also she has helped me get my act together around finances (always been something I have not given much thought to and I have been a person who has flown by the seat of my pants). So now the financial strain of MBC and my need to take good care of myself and the $$ it will cost to do so is a stressor for me. I have always been a huge fan of therapy and have voluntarily taken myself to therapy since I was about 22 years old, on and off again. I have worked with the most amazing therapists as well as fired a couple terrible ones.

2) I also get massages through UniteForHer's program, every two weeks. I consider this somatic therapy. It works out the issues in my tissues that get stressed out from all the emotional/mental/and pharmacological impact on my body. I love my massage therapist and we have a very loving and open dialogue. She is the head of The Reiki School in Philadelphia and trains reiki practitioners who volunteer at one of the big hospitals here, giving free reiki treatments to people in the oncology centers (including patient's loved ones/support/caregivers).

3) Medication became a necessity for me after I tried to cope with the emotional aspect for a year with some success but not enough. I am one of the fortunate people who's oncology center also have oncology psychiatrists on their team. So I met with them and got myself onto Lexapro which feels like a godsend!

4) Guided meditation helps me get through the dark moments and stormy weather of my mind. It helps me calm down and slow down or stop the "what ifs." It is what helps me make through sleepless nights and pulls me out of deep depressive thoughts.

5) Lastly, exercise is therapy to me and so important for my mental health. I struggle daily to get myself to exercise (in fact, I haven't done any today, yet!). I am my own worst enemy when it comes to exercise. I ALWAYS feel better when I am done, and so proud of myself. The day feels complete. If I don't exercise, I start to feel somewhat claustrophobic and itching to get out of my skin. I feel anxiety creep in. Exercise helps me clear this away. When I exercise it typically includes some levels of cardio, weights, core, stretching and strengthening. It doesn't always feel good the next day, but it gets easier the more I do it.

Aug 19, 2019 12:34AM illimae wrote:

After the initial shock and once I began treatment, I just kind of looked at the big picture. I’ve always been pretty calm and happy and I was tolerating chemo better than I expected, I had no pain and a wonderfully supportive husband. I decided if I felt good, I was good, not in denial but not very fearful either. I am occasionally thrown into a panic over a new pain or scans but quickly pull myself back and like Philly, exercise is a key component, mentally and physically.

Aug 20, 2019 02:32AM Anotherone wrote:

I think I understand Andi

My soon to be ex decided that the way to behave was as if nothing was happening. When I told him I was not getting what I needed from him he said "that's the way I deal with stress". When we were thinking about arranging councelling for my daughter I said we may benefit as well and his response was "I don't need it I am coping well". I told him "so your function is to support me , i am telling you I do not get the support I need from you and your response is that you coping well ??!!" The response was silence..

Andi , I made an observation on human nature , not necessaroly about cancer but now you complained about your nearest and dearest I see it fits very well:

When you tell people something hurts (either physically or emotionally) unless you show them your distress they don't feel full empathy. You and me are the same , it's just human nature. We may understand mentally but we are not going to feel for other person the same if other person does not show us how it hurts.

Similar with cancer - unless we related to them every little detail - thought , feeling , info from here- unless they know users of this website by nickname as you do and follow their journey- they can not possibly emphasise.. I know it sucks.

I had a bbq at mine a couple of weeks after diagnosis and I felt as if a massive plexiglass wall divided me from my guests and those were very close friends...

Aug 23, 2019 03:15PM LoveFromPhilly wrote:

wowwwwww Bliss about your hubby! That’s soooo nuts!!!!

People process difficult news so differently. It amazes me that this person can be married to you and NOT know these things.

I’ve been sharing more about my diagnosis with folks, not everyone, but people here and there. I am chalking it up to educating the public. I still get the “wow you don’t LOOK like someone with stage 4 cancer!” alllll the time as a response. I don’t get mad or angry or defensive, I just think it’s interesting to note. Most people don’t know about MBC, or they don’t understand what it means to be in lifetime treatment for MBC.

I guess I take it as a compliment that I look so well still. I have to be grateful for the little things, like I still have my looks I guess?

The mind wants to believe what the eyes can see.

Aug 23, 2019 08:27PM Simone80 wrote:

It has been 7 months since I was diagnosed. I was a mess at first, so depressed. Then I started to educate myself on MBC. I soon realized it is not an immediate death sentence and I needed to pull myself up so I could enjoy the time I had left. I use several methods to manage stress, anxiety, depression etc.

1. I pray and meditate daily. I have Amazon prime and found a couple of good meditation videos I listen to.

2. Exercise daily. At least 30 mins of something. Walking, swimming, biking, yoga etc. I switch it up to keep it interesting. Not only has this helped with my moods and fatigue, I've also lost a few pounds.

3. I found breast cancer online support group. This has been a big help to me as now I can talk to others that "get it". They understand the anxiety and depression that comes with MBC.

4. I see a therapist monthly and just started antidepressants.

5. I also found a couple of really good books about people who are in a long remission from stage 4. This really uplifts me when I feel hopeless.

Aug 27, 2019 01:28PM candy-678 wrote:

To reiterate my original post-- I think mental health services SHOULD be included in standard healthcare for Stage 4 Cancer folks. Offer us counseling at a reduced cost. Include this in our MO visits. Something. I live in Rural America and we don't have Social Workers on staff with my MO. If you need mental health services, you have to seek it out yourself and pay the high cost of the sessions. And I was even told by one service I called that they don't have services for cancer folks per se. Did I need help for depression, grief, etc so they could direct me to the right person/area. Good grief.

I don't know what you plan on doing with this information, but hopefully you have a plan to really help the ladies here.

Nov 25, 2019 05:58AM LoveLife-1 wrote:

I was on Paxil prior to my diagnosis of Stage IV as I suffered from depression my whole life; It has been 2 months since my diagnosis; I have had ct scan, bone scan; blood work; I am on Letrozole, Ibrance and anti anxiety meds; I feel like I am getting worse in my mental state; I don't feel like doing anything; I can barely get out of bed in the morning; I have a lot of support from family and friends but it is not helping my depression at all - I can't change my diagnosis - state iv breast cancer but I just want to live what like I have left and enjoy it - how can that happen if I am constantly depressed and glued to my sofa