Topic: How to find mental health resources

Aug 14, 2019 02:47PM - edited Aug 14, 2019 02:47PM by Anotherone

I come here as well.

I did not find local metastatic support group - I really could not have coped with being part of the primary diagnosis group as we would be in very different places and I don't think I would be sympathetic to them and I think they would be scared of me .

I tried to call McMillan cancer support line a couple of times but it was either out of hours or I just hung up before being attended due to feeling it will not help .

Guided meditation helped - listening to recordings on YouTube.

Aug 18, 2019 10:20PM LoveLau wrote:

so you were able to get the anxiety down

They are going to start me i. A maoai inhibitor patch next week. I am hoping it will give me somenrelief from the anxiety. I am in remission. But cant get around that. I am treatment resistant. Getting hip replacement tuesday. Did anyone use the patch how did it work. Thanks li e to all.

Aug 19, 2019 11:42PM Andi67 wrote:

This thread is so timely for me.

This has been my main support group. I love the women on these treads and really feel like they are my friends and understand me so much better than anyone else that is physically around me. I have never wanted to join a "live" support group here in Denver... not sure why. I do take anti anxiety medicine nightly (small dose of Adavan) and I have recently started taking CBD oil for anxiety and insomnia, and it has already made a difference. I also try to exercise consistently. I think I need to find that massage therapy service that Philly is talking about!

However, it's been 7 years since my Stage IV diagnosis and just in the last two days I have realized I need 1:1 therapy or counseling, primarily (this is going to sounds super selfish) to deal with the increasing anger that I feel that nobody around me - husband, kids, siblings, parents, etc...even acknowledge that I have cancer and that things could go south and they could lose me. They think that because I look and seem "normal" that I am all well in side and we are out of the woods. They don't see this site and the fact that we are losing people constantly. I'm not looking for special treatment (okay, maybe just a teeny bit) but some sort of attention would be nice. I seriously have anger issues. I was JUST thinking that 1/2 hour ago and I picked up my laptop to check in with all of you and found this thread.

So thank you, Moderators, for asking the question. If you ask again in a month my answer will be that I am in counseling to cope with all of this.

XO

Andi

Aug 23, 2019 12:22PM Bliss58 wrote:

Coming here and a couple FB pages are my biggest support. For the most part I'm doing okay emotionally, but it does frustrate me when my family and friends "think I'm fine." Part of it I think is my fault for trying to protect them from my dx. But recently I've thought, no, I need to really bring them in and make them aware of what I'm going through - really emphasize the Stage IV. Heck, until just recently my husband didn't even realize I'm going for scans every 3 mos. or that I was receiving monthly injections or why my joints are so bad. I do think men tend to cope by denying what's in front of them. DH needed a CT and made such a big deal about it. I asked him if he realized I do that quarterly plus nuc bone scans? He said, no - he had no idea! I thought, really? Where have you been?! So I've also started talking to him about a future when I'm no longer here, that I won't outlive him; he was very surprised by that. Initially, it was uncomfortable for my sister and mother to talk about Stage IV with me, but now they do understand and are my biggest support, along with my DD, who is fully aware and supportive though she fears losing her mother too soon.

Aug 23, 2019 03:07PM Moomala wrote:

I was just diagnosed five months ago and I'm' still processing the diagnosis plus all the appointments and scans and things I have to do now. I've experienced stress, depression, anxiety AND anger over the last five months.

I love coming here find answers to questions and just to reach out and connect with someone else who might be able offer me a little hug across the miles and a little bit of understanding. There is so much experience offered with different treatments and side effects and things that I can typically search out whatever I'm concerned about and find numerous posts with tons of answers from people who have more experience.

I do have a support group here with our local Breast Cancer Coalition and they are an absolutely wonderful group of people. Our meetings occur once per week and the BCC here also offers us seminars and workshops on cool topics. (This month's topic is Forest Immersion as a source of healing.) We socialize outside of support group time so they really have become a very close group of friends.

I am not on medication for depression but I am also not ruling it out. I take alprazolam at night to help me with sleep - otherwise I'm just up and down all night. I do see a psychologist every other week. Currently we're working on that I'm avoiding the grief of my diagnosis by spending way too much time on social media and not enough time being present to things that are more nourishing. He's right about that. BCO aside (which I don't consider social media) I spend way too much time just browsing social media and not doing more of the things I love to do.

Exercise is critical for me. It helps me keep pain levels at a minimum, keeps me from feeling stagnant and gives me a feeling of control and accomplishment over my disease. Because of bone issues, I've had to change my mindset a bit. I used to run 5K regularly and lift weights. I am no longer allowed to do that but I'm finding new ways to feel physically challenged.

Great family support. My mom and my sisters are great. My kids and grandkids are super supportive. My husband pulls away a little but I'm giving him time and space. This is all pretty new for him too. Andi I really understand what you mean about the anger that people forget you have cancer. I am so physically active and still working and am a quite upbeat person. But my back hurts in one spot or another and many times several areas from all the damage that cancer has done. But becuase I'm always wearing a happy face in front of people it just doesn't show and I do get angry at some of the things people expect of me. Some days I need to keep my back a little quiet and other days I can move mountains. I don't expect people to be mind readers but it's also hard to think that others' expectation is that I can just be the person I was before. That person was go go go until all hours and there's no way I can do that anymore.

Aug 27, 2019 12:16PM Moderators wrote:

We greatly appreciate your feedback. Any other suggestions?

Sep 11, 2019 01:36PM Moderators wrote:

Dear Members,

We appreciate your shared insights on this topic and we are compiling information including resources that we hope will be helpful to the community. While we are in the process of doing such we thought you might be interested in these resources:

Cancer Care provides free on-line support groups

Check out this link to join their Metastatic breast cancer group – 15 weeks led by an oncology social worker – new group starts October 1, 2019

https://www.cancercare.org/support_groups/44-metastatic_breast_cancer_patient_support_group

You also might be interested in Telephone Support Groups for those with MBC. Check out the organization SHARE and click on this link https://www.sharecancersupport.org/calendar/support-groups/ to learn more about how you can register for such groups.

The Mods

Jan 18, 2020 02:30PM Jacque1102 wrote:

Hello all,

I found this to be an interesting thread because I am a clinical psychologist and a Stage IV breast cancer patient. I have observed psycological health is treated very differenty depending on the geographical location of the country you reside and even within states there are differences. Rural communities struggle getting access to health care and we may as well not even discuss mental health access. Some states are opening up telehealth and telecounseling as a means to address the access problem. I would encourage you all to speak with your nurses or social workers at your cancer to see what providers may be available for telehealth psychotherapy. The provider must be licensed in the state in which you live so as to ethically provide psychological services. Hope this helps. Another avenue which may help is to seek out resources such as Casting For Recovery programs in each of your states. The program will have licensed mental health providers available for the weekend providing support and psychoeducational programming. And Casting For Recovery offers metastatic groups only. We metsters do scare people NOT dx with mets. We are a constant reminder of the possibility of progression and death.

I heard you all discuss feelings of anger, frustration, and grief about the failure of our health care system. I concur. Your thoughts about how your loved ones have responded also reasonated with me. Until I raise my voice or break down and cry, my well meaning family and close friends do not respond or know how to respond. They think I am doing well because again, I look well. I have joked that they are Sheldon from Big Bang Theory when he says, "There, there. Can I get you a hot beverage."

It has even been suggested by well meaning friends for me to lead a support group or provide therapy to other metastatic breast cancer patients because I "could identify." I had to educate my friends about the ethics with that. I have learned that my family and friends cannot empathize with my situation at all. I do know that I am loved which helps me find peace. When I am needing support about my disease, I log on here. I may not always post and today I felt like I had to about this subject. I also read ALOT about breast cancer health information, blogs from other metastatic patients, and of course have my own psychologist who specializes in health psychology. I also know I am lucky that I have health insurance that covers my therapy and I live in a larger city.

Take good care, everyone. It's a cold day and I think I will pour myself a hot beverage.

Warmly,

J