Topic: How to ask for help

Aug 14, 2019 08:22PM Survivinginfaith wrote:

I've gone through two harrowing treatments for MBC, with two very different experiences with getting/asking for help. During & after the first diagnosis / treatments, I was working in the Corp world, my parents were still living (although they lived 1,200 miles away), and I was in a relationship with a Boyfriend. I had the best friends and co-workers anyone could ask for during that first journey. My boss told me to take as much time as I needed and he guaranteed my job would be waiting for me. Everyone rallied around me, gave me parties to celebrate milestones, supported me physically and mentally. My Parents drove from Indiana to California. I told them I had support and I was going to get through this, but they wanted to see me and do whatever they could while they visited. I had a frank talk with the boyfriend and told him if he couldn't go through this journey, he could leave and there would be no hard feelings. He didn't leave, took me to treatments and made sure I have food. Sadly, he left the relationship about a year after my last treatment. I didn't have nausea, but I was extremely fatigued and my bones became so brittle that when I coughed during a bout with Bronchitis, 3 ribs broke. I'd say the fatigue was the hardest side effect.

The second diagnosis/treatment couldn't have been more opposite from the first experience. Parents had passed away. The company I worked for moved to Washington D.C. I had started a small business, which required a lot of walking and physical work. The chemo that was prescribed disabled me. I had EXTREME bone pain from Taxol. The pain lasted 8-9 days. Just when the pain began to dissipate, it was time for another infusion :-(. The Infusion Nurses said they had never seen anyone have the degree of bone pain that I had. My Oncologist couldn't order any drugs to protect my bones as these drugs also caused bone pain. I couldn't sit, stand, walk, crawl, sleep, eat. I would roll around on the floor writhing and screaming in pain. I kept thinking it would get better, but it didn't so I asked my Oncologist to help me. His way of 'helping' me was to prescribe Hydrocodone. Highly addictive. I did NOT want to take this drug, but after crying and writhing in pain until 2AM I took one pill. Didn't help at all and made me feel disoriented and woozy. I was afraid I would fall and my bones were brittle from the chemo so that was not an option. I reported this to my Oncologist and what did he do? He called in another prescription to the drugstore of the same drug. He was not going to help me. My Platelet count went down to 2. It's supposed to be between 200-400. I had to beg BEG! my Oncologist for help. He finally ordered transfusions. I was getting sicker and weaker. I couldn't work, I couldn't cook, I couldn't clean my house, I was too sick to drive, and I had a hard time bathing/dressing. I called every organization I could think of: American Cancer Society, Susan G Komen Org (they were horrible and unhelpful and should be ashamed), etc. I didn't have money for a Caregiver. I finally found some help with my church. Some helpful women set up a Meal Train and meals were delivered to my door on the days that I could eat. I've lived alone most of my life so it is really hard for me to feel so helpless and ask for help. I shared my struggles with a few neighbors and their response was, "You'll figure it out." I talked to Social Worker at the Hospital and she gave me a list of people and organizations and said I should call them. I was in so much pain, weak, scared, depressed and no one would life a freaking finger to help me - even when I asked. Not getting the help when I asked only added to my depression. There were many times I contemplated taking all three bottles of Hydrocodone. I've realized if you don't have a family member or friend who is willing to step in and actually help, if you are unable to call hundreds of organizations and beg for help (and they may tell you you don't qualify) you are alone in this Hell.

Aug 15, 2019 01:53AM santabarbarian wrote:

A lot of people offered to help me. So I would accept and say, "Great, can I put you on my helper list of people to call if something comes up?" Then, i called them. I never needed to call anyone twice. And people were happy to do a one-shot help like drive me to Dr or bring me some groceries. or pick up some cat litter.

Oct 1, 2019 03:26PM ZZZAAAZZZAAA wrote:

• i found ca15 now for my mother is 778 ,,,,,,the doctor say to us it will be high and reduce high and reduce you don t have information about that