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Nov 3, 2017 11:02AM
Nov 3, 2017 11:14AM
HapB, I do not, I really, especially in this very moment being complete paranoid, I do not want any of these treatments, I thought Taxol was being nice to me and so thought my doctors. Now I wonder if I should call them and ask to do my blood work before the last infusion, I cannot go upstairs without holding the railing in my home, and we are talking about eight stairs. This week I just crushed. I am eating fried chicken liver, red meat and something very peculiar, a Swedish thing, called blood pudding, it is like a meal but tastes sweet and is served as so many things with lingonberry jam. It is like craving I suspect my hemoglobine is very low right now. Why I am contemplating additional treatment? Because even this bc professor who called me this week agrees with me that I am being borderline for more treatment. He said that for the size of this tumor they use weekly Taxol, a new regimen, based on Dana Farber study that has proven good results so far. But this study is new and they have not been using this regimen for a longer period of time. Due to the presence of LVI we can reconsider adding anthracycline but it is up to me. If he would called me and said: you shouldn't worry, we are over-treating you already, weekly Taxol is not less effective than any other regimen, then I would have called it quits. But he did not. I asked him about different regimens and he said that we cannot compare Taxol, TC and AC just like that because there are no study, a real randomized that can compare efficacy. But there is a study, he mentioned the name, that compared AC to TC (Taxotere+Carboplatin), AC shown to be more effective. There is no study that compares Taxol to AC, and only weekly Taxol is not given for larger tumors that has spread to the nodes because it it simply not enough, or at least they do not know at the moment because there is no study on that. Another oncologist told me that it may be the other way around, that they over-treat smaller tumors with Taxol, they just do not know. And it is not enough for me because I need to act now.I just thought that I go with one infusion EC and see how I will tolerate it, if it will be really bad I will stop.
About how I looked before, I cannot even start on this, I feel like it has been in another life. The stairs, I never walked them, I used to fly them in a couple of steps. I was contemplating whether or not I should put botox in the wrinkle between my eyebrows and decided against it, thinking, no, I want to be natural and age with grace. So much for that. I am completely unrecognizable and the worst part today was my youngest's look at her face when she saw me crying in the kitchen when I told my mom how I felt. She looked worried and upset and did not know what to do and I hate the fact that she is going through this when she is just 11.
6/28/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
7/18/2017 Lumpectomy: Left
8/21/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
8/21/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab)
11/27/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin)
1/30/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)