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May 15, 2007 02:11AM
Doesnt really bother me having no boobs, or having any reconstruction done on both sides...at first it was no biggie as it was winter and my first masct in NOv 04 and one in Nov 05,
I was never big busted and always got to get away with wearing cute little tanks with no bra if I wanted to...then a bit back as I have been going through a bit of depression I got mad but again now I still dont feel deformed etc. and no I dont use prothesisis, just me...and on the right side the first the tissue from the arm pit gets swollen "lymphodema" and using my arm it gets hardended a bit, and I use a large to cover that excess bigness or Ive been calling it my "extra boob", alot of my cute t shirt tops are too small on the right side in the arm pit, ugh, I use a size large as i have a large back side, yes i was a swimmer for years...now with summer here again I have and use tons of tank tops by themself at home, or even out at times, as its hot where i live and I thought if someone doesnt like the looks of what i look like, pooey to them...but I do use them as I can go into the lingerie dept and find tons of undershirts, cute ones of all colors, and I buy a large, some a medium, but to cover up that excess boob /muscle as it helps. but being I dont work outside the home Im disabled and now in a wheel chair recently, also a walker as I was stuck at home as when I was out w/my walker Id get so tired my doc thought Id get more out of life if I have to use a wheel chair so I wont get so exhausted, and the "C" in my hip, just makes it easier on me but that extra skin that is getting a workout gets hard and I do try to cover it so I am having to use my arms quite a lot to get around and now my bicep is getting a work out, yes very tiring on that..but I have found as I wear jeans and a tank and have been looking for like a short sleeve light fabric w/buttons down the front as when i bend over yep you can see right down to my belly button, and the style of wearing 2 tanks are good, but even that gets hotter here.
the problem I do have is that my left side I can shave under, but my right side, its too painful not just to shave it, but the growth afterwards ugh.
Any ideas on that one? Id really would appreciate it, but mainly Im home and that is just that, I deal with it but going out, Id put on a button down.
Maybe some summery beads might look good, I cant wear metal, as im allergic to it, so Im answering a bit of my own question as I didnt care what I looked like but now I am beginning to, which I guess is good and bead just might look and make me feel better about my appearance. Just the shaving is the big problem, but overall I shouldnt even complain.
As of healing,hmmmmm I was in hospital all last week as I thought I was having heart attack, but no, the pains were from a long story portacath that apparently has damaged my heart, nothing I was told life threating and the right chest is what they said is in pain from the healing, and that was in Nov 04, as they had to cut so much out of me and took about 19 nodes and peal all my ribs and cut muscles and tendons etc and will and can take years for the pain to go away, plus I have 2 more lumps we found there, but they say its nothing...well see, but Im finding out in MY case the healing process is a long one, and they said it can be and I can still always have pain as the muscles etc are trying to heal still, as it can alwalys be this way....
Long ago when I first joined here in 04, remember Diane 3strikes, and Janelle? Well we were planning and I was trying to come up with a good idea and I did, a clothesline just for BC women...as they have peties, talls, xtra large etc etc, why not us, as I planned tons of stuff as I had connections w/a relitive in the speciality of manufacturing business, she thought it was great idea and well needed, as we need larger armholes, sofrter fabrids in certain areas, and my ideas are all written down of what I would like, as an itchy top just doesnt get it, plus Diane said she would wear her husbands shirts and Janelle also would, and we all thought it would be a great idea and came up with tons of good ideas...so if anyone here has the ambition etc and wants to know some of mine let me know as I know what Id like, and Im sure there are tons of women who have not had reconstruction, or wear prothesisis whem going to work etc...oh brings back lots of good memories of those 2 angels. I now just dont have the energy anymore, but my brain works, and I think its about time WE all had what we want...and yes there are tricks to the trade for clothing.
ok ok Im gone its late and i know im rambling...
let me know what you think..
I'll try not raising my right arm high if only in a tank..lol
It's better to be effective than it is to be right.-