Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 04:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 08:56PM by MT1

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 04:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 08:56PM by MT1

MT1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

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Nov 9, 2012 11:43AM River_Rat wrote:

Pip, thanks for the tip that it's on Amazon.  I'm going to get it too.  Before my BMX I was fortunate that my daughter works in the medical field and was able to borrow a copy of the book "Show Me' from a medical library for me.  That book doesn't seem to be in print anymore.  Recently when my sister was dx'ed with breast cancer my daughter got the book out for us again.  My other sister is looking waiting for biopsy results and the way things are going I think it'd be worth having a copy of something similar in the family. 

Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
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Nov 9, 2012 02:26PM Tina337 wrote:

Melly, thanks for your comments mentioning the potential issues surrounding breast recon. The picture of the young woman with her husband is so sweet and beautiful.

"Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself." ~ George Bernard Shaw Dx 11/13/2007, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 9, 2012 03:51PM Granellie wrote:

MT1 - The young woman in the photo for the new book is beautiful ... not just her face, but her body and her repose with her husband. Her chest is how I had expected mine to look, instead of lumps and bumps and dips with a navel in the center of it all ... plus, there are those "water balloons" at breast level under my arms.  I can hardly bear to touch that mess of scars and looking at it can still bring tears.

On a brighter note, I am loving camisoles. I've ordered quite a few different styles from Jockey. My favorites are the stretchy blended fabric ones in bright colors (style #s 2382 & 2094). I like that they can be worn "frontwards and backwards." If anyone orders from them, limit that first purchase because you'll get a 20 percent coupon as a thank you for your next order.

Surgery 6/10/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 8/14/2012 Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 9/13/2012 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 9, 2012 10:25PM crystalphm wrote:

Granelli, You are probably tired of hearing this, but it takes time for the pain to go away and for things to get smoother. I am very pleased to be smooth and no bumps, but it took about a year. And as far as the pain went, each day or week just got easier and now I won't say I am pain free (2 years ago) but I am pretty near pain free, just discomfort now in those ragged places especially where the scar tissue is under my arm.

It takes time...and keep asking your doctor too.

I am having a rough week, there was a group of 3 other women who had mastectomies and I joined in to talk with them, only to realize I was the only one who did not get reconstruction. The one said she deserved far better than being flat...and I didn't have an answer. The other woman showed me her recon job and then told me she lost 2 years to it (surgery, missed work, pain, infections...)

Reconstruction is not something I want, but I don't know what to say to people who leave me feeling bad.

How strange it all is, I had physical pain for 2 years and now that has calmed down and I have emotional pain. I seemed far more comfortable with being flat when I had physical pain. Does this make any sense?


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Nov 9, 2012 11:34PM lindakr wrote:

It does seem that almost everyone is getting recon now.  At one of my first support group meetings a woman that had had breast cancer said how thankful she was that she didn't have to have a mastectomy, that she knows she wouldn't be able to look at herself and would just cry and cry, she wouldn't feel like a woman anymore - I was 2 weeks post MX Cry - I don't think that she knew.  Well it is our safe space to say what we feel Sealed.

Crystalphm - I just tell people that I have so much damage that I didn't even consider it, plus I wanted NO more surgery!  And now I've had a couple of punch biopsies in my MX area - they immediately triggered my LE, worse than ever, and 4 weeks later, I'm still having a hard time controlling it, so now I add that to my reasons for no recon - I can't imagine what I mess I would be with recon!

Plus - I HATE BRAS!!!

Modified Radical MX w/axillary dissection; 6xTCH, Hercpetin for a year, Rads, trying 3rd AI Aromasin. No Reconstruction. Lymphedema. Dx 3/19/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/2/2010 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Targeted Therapy 5/15/2010 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 5/15/2010 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2010 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane), Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 9/25/2010 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 10, 2012 10:07AM - edited Nov 10, 2012 10:13AM by Starak

This Post was deleted by Starak.
Freed 'em when they tried to kill me. BMX, no recon, center dog ears removed, currently living flat but still tending an extensive foob and mx bra experimental farm in the back of the closet.
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Nov 10, 2012 01:32PM Granellie wrote:

crystalphm, thank you for that encouragement. T I M E ... I must keep that uppermost in my mind.

"NO further surgery," is the first and main reason I state about my choice for a double mastectomy. Then I relate how during the heat wave of last summer while I was healing from the lumpectomy, how very uncomfortable it was. That was when the prospect of being "breast free" and never having to wear a bra began to be an appealing option. As I said in my previous "rant," I'm loving camisoles.

Surgery 6/10/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 8/14/2012 Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 9/13/2012 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 10, 2012 02:49PM MT1 wrote:

I have a rash on my radiation area. It wraps around my chest to my back. Earlier in the week I hade verve pain in my incision area and a very intense sensation on my ribs. I slept for almost two days straight. I don't feel headachy any more, but I sure wish this rash would go away. It is itchy.

I called my MO's NP and left a message.

I emailed my MO with a photograph and have not heard back. email isn't his favorite mode of communication. He usually responds though.

I am fretting a little.

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Nov 10, 2012 03:59PM Dawn7 wrote:

Dear MT1,
Is shingles a possibility? Dawn

Surgery 10/24/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Nov 10, 2012 04:21PM MT1 wrote:

It could be, I had chicken pox when I was a kid.

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