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Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

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Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by MT1

MT1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

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Posts 4171 - 4200 (4,310 total)

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May 10, 2017 02:53PM glennie19 wrote:

I think the insurance should pay,, and I hope you find a surgeon who is willing to work with the insurance company. Can you emphasize how much they annoy you? You can't find bras and prostethics to fit properly because of it, etc. etc. Some have painful nerve endings left in the dog ears. So I would be sure to mention ANY problem that you have with them, in addition to the cosmetic aspect. Don't get me wrong, cosmetic is important too,, but sometimes these surgeons need a little extra push to work with the insurance company. Best of luck, and do keep us posted.

Fibromyalgia and Truncal Lymphedema,,, some of the fun things I live with. Total hysterecomy 9/29/14 Prophy MX Righty 11/30/17 Dx 6/27/2013, Paget's, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/7/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Dx DCIS
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May 10, 2017 04:38PM - edited May 10, 2017 04:49PM by Icietla

sh2015 -- It is probably a communication problem. I had that problem with one too. The Plastic Surgeon may be thinking (in the term of) *Reconstruction* (for which Insurance would pay), and finding that what you want is not among the general descriptions/ definitions of the enumerated, recognized, billable *Reconstruction* options/procedures. See how this notion might be the problem? I believe *Revision* (or *Mastectomy Revision*) is the characterization you want for your procedure.

Good luck!

My latest (Stage IVB) diagnosis is almost certainly of another distant primary type. To the best of my information and belief, I am still apparently what we call NED as to breast cancer, doubtless thanks to Letrozole. Dx 2/12/2016, ILC, Right, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/19/2016 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 4/1/2016 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 4/25/2016 Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 8/2018, Stage IV
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May 11, 2017 01:10PM ravzari wrote:

tsoebbin

It's like recovering from a really bad cut that needed stitches. You'll want to be careful about stretching, twisting, reaching, etc...for a couple of weeks same as you would if you just had a bad, deep cut that required stitches.

They didn't even stitch mine, I just got surgical glue.

Prophylactic BMX no recon, June 2016, due to strong family history of BC. NF1 positive.
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May 11, 2017 08:24PM - edited May 11, 2017 08:28PM by Imapeep

My mom had a BMX in 1974 for stage 2b bc. She was 34 years old. She went flat for 43 years. It didn't bother her, as long as you feel comfortable with yourself that's what matters. This is my 1st post but I just wanted to say you are all incredible. This site has helped me through some tough times.

Dx 3/8/2017, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+ Surgery 3/31/2017 Lumpectomy
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May 12, 2017 01:12AM Icietla wrote:

Welcome, Imapeep. So sorry about your being diagnosed too.

This site has done the same for me. I count it among my blessings.

My latest (Stage IVB) diagnosis is almost certainly of another distant primary type. To the best of my information and belief, I am still apparently what we call NED as to breast cancer, doubtless thanks to Letrozole. Dx 2/12/2016, ILC, Right, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/19/2016 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 4/1/2016 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 4/25/2016 Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 8/2018, Stage IV
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May 12, 2017 02:03PM glennie19 wrote:

welcome imapeep,

I have to say,, I love that your mom went flat for 43 YEARS!! That certainly gives all of us hope in being long term survivors.

This site has been so helpful to me too. I am sure I learned everything I know about lymphedema right here.

glennie

Fibromyalgia and Truncal Lymphedema,,, some of the fun things I live with. Total hysterecomy 9/29/14 Prophy MX Righty 11/30/17 Dx 6/27/2013, Paget's, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/7/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Dx DCIS
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May 20, 2017 10:20AM sh2015 wrote:

Icietla--thank you. I never thought of that. I should hear from the insurance company soon and, if they refuse, I will certainly make sure they understand that this is a modification. Greatly appreciate all the help!

Dx 10/8/2015, DCIS/IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right
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May 21, 2017 01:41PM hsant wrote:

SH, I forgot to mention that I had my modification surgery (on my prophylactic side) in Cleveland. Whos your insurance provider? I doubt you will have any issues with respect to your surgery

Dx 5/10/2015, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 6/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+, HER2- Surgery 6/10/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 6/30/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 23, 2017 06:17PM Breastlessbeth wrote:

The law now is insurance has to pay for reconstruction but try finding a Plastic surgeon sho TAKES insurance. I planned on reconstruction but am in no way able to pay out of network fees and deductibles. I'm not enjoying this daily fight.

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Jun 2, 2017 09:01AM sh2015 wrote:

hsant...I found a surgeon who will work with my insurance company and take care of this for me. Cleveland was actually my next stop if this did not work out. I'm only a couple of hours from there.

Surgery is scheduled for June 12th! Yay!!

Dx 10/8/2015, DCIS/IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right
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Jun 22, 2017 03:08PM DenvMom wrote:

I love going flat I think I posted that earlier on this posting.  I was huge 44 H.  I do not miss my breasts but that being said I am a widow 67 yr old and not looking for a husband.  I use scarfs to "hide" being "flat",  I had  some "fat" left and had to have the fat removed from under my arms.  Under my arms are now done and feels and looks great.  

Going flat is a personal decision that no one can help you with.  I am older and confident really never notice if men notice I am flat.  Do not care.  If you do not feel comfortable in your skin being flat then I would use breast inserts or get rebuilt.  It is all about what makes you feel best.


Dx 7/9/2015, DCIS/ILC, Left, 1cm, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC)
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Nov 27, 2017 04:06PM JJ62 wrote:

Bump for all those who are flat or considering being so. No regrets!


BRCA1+, LVI. " Life is Good" Dx 12/29/2009, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 0/11 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 1/31/2010 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 3/16/2010 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/4/2011 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic ovary removal
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Nov 27, 2017 04:21PM bareclaws wrote:

No regrets.

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Nov 27, 2017 04:32PM ravzari wrote:

0% regrets here.

I love how I look and I love how easy it is to find shirts that actually fit without buttons nearly popping off at the chest. :D

Prophylactic BMX no recon, June 2016, due to strong family history of BC. NF1 positive.
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Nov 27, 2017 06:44PM Wren44 wrote:

Wish I'd done both. Still hoping to say goodbye to the other one.

Lumpectomy and re-excision followed by mastectomy of right breast. Five years of anastrasole completed.
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Nov 27, 2017 06:58PM kathindc wrote:

Absolutely no regrets.

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Nov 27, 2017 07:45PM Spookiesmom wrote:

5 years, no regrets.

First time IDGgrade 3, stage 3. Second time, found lump myself. That made me stage 4. Dx IDC, Stage IIIA, Grade 3
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Nov 27, 2017 11:40PM Icietla wrote:

Turn it up!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcIer_4OnA

My latest (Stage IVB) diagnosis is almost certainly of another distant primary type. To the best of my information and belief, I am still apparently what we call NED as to breast cancer, doubtless thanks to Letrozole. Dx 2/12/2016, ILC, Right, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/19/2016 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 4/1/2016 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 4/25/2016 Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 8/2018, Stage IV
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Nov 28, 2017 03:33PM glennie19 wrote:

Having prophy MX on Righty on Thurs! then will be completely flat. Looking forward to it.

Fibromyalgia and Truncal Lymphedema,,, some of the fun things I live with. Total hysterecomy 9/29/14 Prophy MX Righty 11/30/17 Dx 6/27/2013, Paget's, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/7/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Dx DCIS
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Nov 28, 2017 03:56PM kathindc wrote:

In your pocket Glennie. Let us know how it goes for you.

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Nov 28, 2017 03:56PM Castigame wrote:

Glennie, 

Wish you a speedy recovery.

Mimi Dx 1/11/2017, IDC: Papillary/IDC: Cribriform, Right, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 1/11/2017, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, 0/2 nodes Surgery 2/15/2017 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal Chemotherapy 3/20/2017 Radiation Therapy 7/30/2017 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Surgery 10/29/2017
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Nov 28, 2017 08:16PM amygil81 wrote:

Glennie, wishing you all the best, and a speedy recovery.

Osteosarcoma in left leg at age 13. DCIS in left breast at 33. IDC recurrence in left chest wall at 42. Dx 12/2000, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR- Surgery 12/9/2000 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Dx 12/2009, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIIB, 3/10 nodes Surgery 12/17/2009 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 1/10/2010 CMF Chemotherapy 5/30/2010 Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/30/2010 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Nov 29, 2017 04:27AM feelingfeline wrote:

Best wishes Glennie.

Dx 1/20/2012, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, 3/22 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 2/8/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 4/3/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 7/31/2012 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 8/6/2012 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/1/2015 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Nov 29, 2017 03:00PM glennie19 wrote:

Thanks, everyone!!

Fibromyalgia and Truncal Lymphedema,,, some of the fun things I live with. Total hysterecomy 9/29/14 Prophy MX Righty 11/30/17 Dx 6/27/2013, Paget's, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/7/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Dx DCIS
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Nov 29, 2017 11:15PM Murfy wrote:

Best of luck @glennie19! I, too, am a uniboob and wear a regular bra, no prosthesis. Would have no problem being completely flat; I was an A cup before surgery any way!


Dx at 62: Oncotype=52; Path (ER=99%, PR=0%, Ki67=55%) Dx 10/2017, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 11/14/2017 Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 1/13/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/30/2018 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Dec 15, 2017 07:23PM Memekatrn wrote:

I had reconstruction 18 years ago, now having them out because of pain. I don’t want to look like a boy. I had a total and hysterectomy, the awful kind because they thought I had ovarian cancer. I feel like filleted fish, now I will look like boy too. I need help getting prosthesis, any ideas for low cost? Thank you all

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Dec 15, 2017 10:18PM Wren44 wrote:

First, check your insurance. It might pay. The least expensive are the microbead, which you can make yourself, or the foam. The foam tends to ride up if not weighted. I've thought to put them in a cami, which would help keep them down. There's also a group that makes knitted knockers. They will send you a pair free. It's pretty easy to add a cup to a bra you already have. You can also wear Coobie or Genii bras which have modesty pads. The opening can be made a little larger to fit in the prosthesis (also known as foob here). Good luck.

Lumpectomy and re-excision followed by mastectomy of right breast. Five years of anastrasole completed.
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Dec 16, 2017 01:10AM Jeremiah29-11 wrote:

New flat girl here enjoying wearing XS now!! Thank goodness it's sweater season to help tradition to the new silhouette. I went to a Christmas party last weekend and found a cool metallic jacket that made me feel pretty. So, what stores or labels work for you all? Calvin Klein at Macy's has been pretty good. Any other suggestions? BCBG? WHBM?

I love not being in pain. I love that I don't have endless MRI's in my future. I love that I don't have to replace boobs every 10 years. I love hugging my little dog and feeling his warm little body. This was the right decision for me.

Thank you all, ladies, for your words of inspiration!

Dx 10/17/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/29/2017 TAC Radiation Therapy 4/8/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Surgery 6/19/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal Surgery 12/9/2019 Reconstruction (left): Latissimus dorsi flap, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 10/27/2020 Reconstruction (left): Latissimus dorsi flap, Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy
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Dec 16, 2017 03:12AM Momine wrote:

Gloria, for me it is still a work in progress with the clothing. I do wear miniature foobs a lot of the time, in large part because I refuse to give up tailored jackets. I have a collection and I love them.

I really want to get a tit-less dressmaker's dummy and experiment with some fabric. I have this idea that the flatness could be exploited, rather than disguised.

But the other thing is, as many have observed, that people really don't notice most of the time, and if they do? One night I was out walking the dog, and almost bumped into a guy missing an arm, as I turned a corner. I couldn't help laughing and to explain my laugh I gestured to the missing tits. He immediately got it, laughed and shrugged, I shrugged and we each went our merry way.

The point is to have joy and beauty in your life:



Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Dec 16, 2017 06:08AM feelingfeline wrote:

ThumbsUp

Dx 1/20/2012, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, 3/22 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 2/8/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 4/3/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 7/31/2012 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 8/6/2012 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/1/2015 Aromasin (exemestane)

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