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Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by MT1

MT1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

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Posts 4201 - 4209 (4,209 total)

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Dec 17, 2017 12:39PM JJ62 wrote:

What a great story Momine! Thanks for sharing it! I hope you surgery went well and that your recovery is uneventful Glennie19.

BRCA1+, LVI. " Life is Good" Dx 12/29/2009, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 0/11 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 2/1/2010 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 3/17/2010 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/5/2011 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic ovary removal
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Dec 17, 2017 01:39PM glennie19 wrote:

Surgery was Nov 30th. Had anti-nausea meds pre-op and that made all the difference for me in recovery! Surgery at 8:30 and out of there at 1:30. Had drain pulled on day 13 post op, but having some puffiness now,, hoping it is not a seroma, but I had one last time, so it won't be surprising. Aside from that tight, puffy feeling,,,, I feel pretty good otherwise. Thanks everyone!

Fibromyalgia and Truncal Lymphedema,,, some of the fun things I live with. Total hysterecomy 9/29/14 Prophy MX Righty 11/30/17 Dx 6/27/2013, Paget's, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/7/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Dx DCIS
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Dec 17, 2017 07:57PM kathindc wrote:

Glennie, my BS had me wear a tight sports bra with extra padding for a month to prevent swelling after the drains came out. It worked for me. Just a thought.

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Dec 18, 2017 10:48PM Jeremiah29-11 wrote:

Great stuff, Momine! Thank you!

Dx 10/17/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/29/2017 TAC Radiation Therapy 4/9/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Surgery 6/20/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole)
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Mar 22, 2018 12:48PM Hogwarts wrote:

Hi all,

Just found this thread and love the rant that started it! You guys are great and I love not feeling 'alone' on this journey of trying to figure out my new flat self (silicone forms not comfy, especially in summer heat) or how not to feel self-conscious in the summer going flat. Caught between a hard place and a rock.

Time to get new forms and hope there is something that won't irritate chest wall nerves (fingers crossed that the gabapentin will help!) as everything I've tried so far isn't comfortable. Maybe the molded foam or beaded forms won't irritate or hold in the moisture in GA summer humidity.

Opted for a BMX as I knew intuitively this was right for me. No more awful mammograms (it's awful when you are small and get smashed like that; I always felt violated afterwards.)

Hope some of you got together for a flat fest. Couldn't read thru all the posts, but it would be great to be amongst other women, physically, who find flat is their new normal.

Trying to find tops with prints is the new rule for me for comfort in the summer heat. All my wardrobe tops before surgery was in solids! Black doesn't suit me, otherwise I'd wear black tops in the summer. Sigh....

Does anyone else just cringe when they try on summer tops, when we can't hide under layers? Regardless that friends don't notice that I'm now flat, not that there was much to begin, but to find something that's comfy and adds a little curve would feel so good in the summer if I didn't want to go flat!!!

But, even though I'm whining a bit, I am so very grateful to be nearly 3 yrs. out and very healthy with some holes in my chest to show how the yucky stuff was removed. Small price to pay when I reckon what could have been in a different universe/timeline.

So glad you are here and love that I'm not the only one who is tired of the pink-wash that often accompanies a BC dx in our society. I don't want to be reminded about that period in my life when there was high anxiety and I couldn't eat or sleep. I just want to enjoy feeling so healthy now and normal and put this all in the past, because that's where it lives now. It's not a part of my future.

So grateful for your being here. Hugs to all, Hogwarts

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Mar 22, 2018 01:24PM Wren44 wrote:

Hogwarts, Knitted knockers might be the coolest forms. The foam ones are a lot cooler than the silicone. I wonder if some of the 'bralettes' I see would work. I'm stuck with one real one that sags, so they don't work for me.

Lumpectomy and re-excision followed by mastectomy of right breast. Five years of anastrasole completed.
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Mar 22, 2018 07:19PM Hogwarts wrote:

Hi Wren, Thanks for your thoughts. Have 2 pr. of knitted knockers and any texture after a while is an irritant, unfortunately.. Got some cheap foam forms for right after surgery while waiting for the swelling to go down. Wore those and later realized that their 'edges' irritated. Ditto with the silicone forms, if you can believe that. Hoping that either the beaded forms or the formed foam foobs will work. Fingers crossed!

Have a drawer full of nylon coobie and Genie-type bras. They all work to a point and then the nylon becomes irritating. Did end up getting some all cotton exercise bras, cut slits in the sides and put my silicone foobs in them. Then used safety pins in the middle to keep from having a uniboob. The cotton seems to work better than anything else and this bra isn't hugging my chest like mastectomy bras, which also helps. Not perfect, but that's life....

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Apr 1, 2018 07:10PM - edited Apr 1, 2018 07:12PM by BlueGirlRedState

Thank you for posting the duet from the Magic Flute. I heard Thomas Quasthoff - baritone, years ago in a different performance ( I forget what). He is fantastic. I did not do any reconstruction after a bi-lateral at the end of 2016, still debating a tattoo, maybe monarchs

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Apr 2, 2018 01:51AM Momine wrote:

Bluegirl, I just think Quasthoff is so gorgeous in his whole attitude and the art he produces. When he sings, you don't think about his handicap and it clearly doesn't impede his ability to be a mensch and share his talent. Good thing to keep in mind.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/20/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/13/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/9/2012 Surgery 3/8/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 4/1/2012 Femara (letrozole)

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