Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

mt1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

Log in to post a reply

Page 143 of 433 (4,323 results)

Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 10:03AM Dawn7 wrote:

MT1,
I am so glad you received treatment and hope you are doing well. The photo in your blog of the young woman and her husband was instrumental in my decision not to have reconstruction. I preordered the book on amazon that featured it. There is also another photo on Flicker of a woman/mother at the beach going topless after BMX with no reconstruction that I think is lovely. I have ordered a tiny home made microbead breast form from Mary Lacaze to try at home in case I feel the need for a special occasion, etc. I am interested to hear about your experience at the fitters. I wore lightwight barely there bras before surgery- so I am concerned that type is not offered at a masectomy shop- but maybe there are other options? Anyway, good luck and take care.

Surgery 10/25/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 10:49AM - edited Nov 14, 2012 10:49AM by Dawn7

Dear Linda-n3
That is excellent advice re insurance. My insurance has a bunch of online medical suppliers listed- I tried one and felt really pressured by the rep. :0( MT1's insurance should give her a printout of in network providers. The prices for forms are ridiculous! Somebody is making quite a profit.

Surgery 10/25/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 12:25PM FernMF wrote:

I agree with ALL of you about buying forms . . . my insurance paid about 1/3 . . so for me they were still expensive, in my opinion, for a less than a $5 blob of plastic of some type . . . The ONLY provider/store in 100 mile circumference around here does well because it is the ONLY shop . . . I believe they charge TOP DOLLAR and are still struggling . . . I sympathize with what the struggling business end of these products . . but, for me it is troubling/aggravating. 

I would like to TOUCH/FEEL/TRY ON items before purchasing them at these outrageous prices.  This ONLY shop is 30 minutes drive from me, is open by appointment from 9 to 5 on week days only . . . fairly inconvenient for a working gal!!! 

Also, I found the bras to be VERY uncomfortable and ugly.  I was small, I chose small foobs.  They seem smaller now, 6 months later.  I think they are deteriorating.  I chose AMOENA camisoles and t-shirts.  I like them, but they are NOT covered by insurance (they are not bras) and are extravagantly expensive, in my opinion.  And, after wearing them for ~ 6 months now, and washing them, they are not holding up well with age. The elastic rolls now . . . I am also not finding them very comfortable. 

More and more I am hoping to get brave enough to GO FLAT at work, wearing comfortable clothing. 

This forum is helping me be brave(er). . . but I am not there yet. 

CAUTION - do NOT go shopping right after surgery . . I did that, I did NOT research enough, I would definitely buy lightweight foobs now - but I haven't gone back to the one store available. . . maybe soon . . .

Dx 4/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 5/7/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/31/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 02:41PM Starak wrote:

For those in the US and near a big city with an American Cancer Society office, call them and see if they have a fitter.  They will often just give you your first set.  I have now more than once, gone in and been very upfront that I did not want them to give me anything but hoped they would please allow me to see, touch, feel, and maybe try on so that I could order online with confidence. My local office has been wonderfully accomodating for that purpose. When ordering online, be sure you are clear about their return policy.  A good point was made above about being sure the local shop is a preferred provider and also be sure that any form or bra you choose is covered/approved by your insurance.  Those that are in a year when all deductibles have been met and maximum out of pocket has been met for the year should be able to get them really cheap.  If you are not in that circumstance, there is a whole lot to be said for taking your time, doing a lot of research, and maybe opting for cheaper alternatives, if you even want to be bothered. Besides your local ACS office, do read reviews on Breastfree.org which also has links to some of the major online retailers.  My only personal experience is with MetroMedicalOnline.com and TLCDirect.org which I believe is an arm of the American Cancer Society.  I mostly wear small silicone (ABC) or foam forms in pocketed Genie bras or with Amoena style 2167 (Marlena) or Classique 769. Recently I have been going flat more often than not.  BTW, there are separate threads on the subject so that this one is not hijacked.

Barbara

Freed 'em when they tried to kill me. BMX, no recon, center dog ears removed, currently living flat but still tending an extensive foob and mx bra experimental farm in the back of the closet.
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 03:09PM nibbana wrote:

Hey gang,

Ok, I got a story about the "pushing to get reconstruction" line.

Went and saw a doctor for arm pain. Conversation turned to my breast cancer. He said, "You know, a lot of women choose to get reconstructed."

I said, " I hear a lot of women get pushed into reconstruction and are not being told that flat is an option. I'm perfectly happy with my nice, flat ribcage."

Then I had to go into the no more surgery, more risk of truncal LE, carving up the good parts of your body for tissue, ect. That shut him down.

I'm really glad for this thread because I was ready for him!

BMX May 9, 2012, bilateral lymphedema, exposed to TCE and benzene at Marine Corps Base, Camp Lejeune, NC Dx 4/5/2012, IDC, 3cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/22/2012
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 03:12PM alexandria58 wrote:

You know, I'm kind of weird here, but I've gotten to like the look.  I like it best when I'm in shape so my stomach doesn't stick out so much.  but I like being flat.  Love the little undershirts I get to wear as shirts now, that I would never have dared to do before.  And I dress up pretty good when I need to.

Dx 2/22/2011, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 03:12PM Starak wrote:

Good for you Nibbana and Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!! Barbara

Freed 'em when they tried to kill me. BMX, no recon, center dog ears removed, currently living flat but still tending an extensive foob and mx bra experimental farm in the back of the closet.
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 03:14PM - edited Nov 14, 2012 03:16PM by greenfrog

Sorry to hear you have shingles Mel - very uncomfortable. Get well soon.

Well done Nibbana!

Dx 5/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/19 nodes, ER+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 03:42PM mt1 wrote:

Way to go Nibanna!

Alexandria, I love my body and going flat. My husband is having a hard time of it, but I bet he will come around and I am checking out breast forms on his behalf, not mine. I may never purchase them, I don't know right now. But I do want to have the experience of going and seeing what it is about, trying them on and seeing what it brings up for me. I think that if I don't, I won't know, or have a leg to stand on, as they say. I figure if I go alone, I will be able to process free of the emotional entanglement of my relationship.

Log in to post a reply

Nov 14, 2012 05:37PM alexandria58 wrote:

MT: looking makes sense.  Not meant as a criticism - and I guess I'm lucky.  My husband's never minded one way or the other - still has way more sex drive than me.

Feel better from the shingles.  Not a fun thing to have.

Dx 2/22/2011, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+

Page 143 of 433 (4,323 results)

Scroll to top button