Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 02:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 06:56PM by mt1

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 02:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 06:56PM by mt1

mt1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

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Nov 14, 2012 02:38PM Starak wrote:

I saw this and thought I would share.  It speaks to the many less endowed stars who did not feel the need to go under the knife, and celebrates them for the stunningly beautiful women they are without the need for enhancement.  Doesn't speak to us directly but it is pretty rare to see this at all and especially for those in the spotlight.


Freed 'em when they tried to kill me. BMX, no recon, center dog ears removed, currently living flat but still tending an extensive foob and mx bra experimental farm in the back of the closet.
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Nov 14, 2012 06:54PM Outfield wrote:

Joan Jett is playing here soon and I just saw a promo photo.  Somehow she's had a good long career with a chest that could pass in clothes for mine!

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Nov 14, 2012 07:14PM lindakr wrote:

Fern - my insurance covers the camisole, the store has to bill it with the correct code though, so maybe they didn't know that.  Also, my insurance only covers 2 bras/camisoles a year.  Also, I went to a place with really cute bras for small breasted women, and they had pretty ones for larger breasts too.  Also, two of the three places I've been have a lot of different prosthesis's to try on in the store - granted the closest is 90 miles, my favorite is 150 miles, and the best place to get my custom compression garments is 200 miles from my home. I just make my trips a mini-vacation, and a time to visit friends and family.

Modified Radical MX w/axillary dissection; 6xTCH, Hercpetin for a year, Rads, trying 3rd AI Aromasin. No Reconstruction. Lymphedema. Dx 3/19/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/2/2010 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Targeted Therapy 5/15/2010 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 5/15/2010 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2010 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane), Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 9/25/2010 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 14, 2012 08:57PM marie1220 wrote:

Well, I have decided not to reconstruct but I am definitely going for a prosthesis one of these days.  I am shocked when i see myself and I want to minimize that shock for others who see me.  I like symmetry; I think God likes symmetry.  I intend to recreate symmetry, even illusory.

Our Lady of Good Health, pray for us.
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Nov 15, 2012 06:49AM maryah930 wrote:

Exactly what Marie said...Cool

Dx 9/13/2012, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 10/16/2012 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/21/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/1/2013 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 15, 2012 07:11AM alexandria58 wrote:

I'm symmetrical.  Just flat. Does wonders for the golf swing.  Smile

Again, I have no problem with women doing whatever makes them feel good about themselves and their bodies, including prosthesis or recon.  I just hate to see women pressured into either.  I also hope that someday more women will feel comfortable going flat. 

Dx 2/22/2011, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+
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Nov 15, 2012 07:17AM river_rat wrote:

Maybe it's because I am symmetrical and thin but so far nobody has seemed shocked, nobody even seems to notice and I'm over six years out.  I am glad that we all have options and like Alexandria58 I just want women to be comfortable in their own skin, what feels right to that individual and not to feel pressured into anything.

Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
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Nov 15, 2012 07:20AM - edited Nov 15, 2012 07:20AM by erica

MT1, I hope your fitting process goes well. Sometimes fitters have limited stocks, both of bras and breast forms, so it can be helpful to check out online sites like MetroMedical (that Starak mentioned) beforehand to see the range of things available. I've reviewed some of the most popular ones on (i.e. bras and breast forms that I and many other women find comfortable and attractive).

Some of the mastectomy bras I like best are made by Anita (they aren't as structured as others and are lower under the arms), yet these are rarely available in brick and mortar shops that sell mastectomy products. Also bear in mind that pockets can be sewn into regular bras.

I realize that you're very ambivalent about this step. I hope it goes well. The first time I tried on forms, I was amazed by how natural they looked and by the realization that I could look just as I always had if I chose to.

Also, really sorry to hear about the shingles. Glad you got on the antiviral quickly. One thought--you might want to wait until the nerve pain goes away completely before trying on forms. Otherwise, it will be hard for you to evaluate how they will feel once you're all better.

Barbara (; BreastFree Blog (; Twitter @BreastFree
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Nov 15, 2012 10:57AM crystalphm wrote:

MT, Just a suggestion, the TLC's microbead foobs are easier to wear, you can put them in a TLC Cami (sale ending today)...and I bought mine a size larger (the cami) because I can't stand tight on my incision/ lymphedema areas.

They add a little "something" to my chest, like "hint of a breast" (I wear 3's or 4's) and are not as comfortable as being flat, but are a good compromise.

Silicone has never felt like a good compromise to me, just too bulky, heavy, sweaty...

Linda, what is the code for getting a cami paid for? Who would I ask about that?

i Notice a more positive response from my husband when I wear the foobs, a few days a week, and if it makes him smile more, sure, why not? After all he listens to me when i ask him to stop wearing a stained shirt or something I find unattractive...

I like foobs, I love as long as I am feeling physically OK, I choose each day.

I am exhausted trying to find clothing that looks great flat, I am so weary of it all. So now I buy more of what I love...and then choose flat of foobs for it. I Love-love being to take the foobs off to sleep, I love the choices.

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Nov 15, 2012 01:23PM - edited Nov 15, 2012 01:24PM by greenfrog

I wonder if they will ever invent a prosthetic breast that actually feels like a lovely warm human breast instead of a huge clammy sweaty lump of solidified goo.

Dx 5/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/19 nodes, ER+, HER2-

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