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Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 02:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 06:56PM by MT1

MT1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

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Posts 4291 - 4310 (4,310 total)

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Jul 29, 2021 08:36PM BlueGirlRedState wrote:

CCraig - reconstruction is such a personal decision. What is comfortable/right for one person, might not be the right thing for another. 5 years ago when I was explaining/demonstrating DYI cold capping to another woman who was going through the same nightmare she asked about reconstruction. I told her that since I was nearing 60, that I did not feel the need. I had gone the full circle, even looking at DIEP. She told me that she was almost 65 and wanted her breasts, even if plastic. The DIEP surgeon explained that usually the mastectomy and DIEP are done at the same time, but others choose to wait. She had one patient who had been told she would only live another year or two. After 10 years, she said I'm still here and want my breasts. I am comfortable about staying flat, but that is me. I was self conscious for at least a year or two, but that ebbed.

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Jul 30, 2021 11:57AM NatureYogi wrote:

Hello all and blessings to you! I had surgery last Friday (July 23) for right mastectomy flat closure, my surgeon did a beautiful job and I appreciate that he did not give me any pushback on my decision. I was supposed to get a double, but with my diagnosis of Stage IIIC triple negative Inflammatory BC, he wanted to get me through this and on to radiation. We didn't know what the path reports would reveal and I did have lymph node involvement. At first I was upset, I wanted one and done, but he was concerned if I had any issues it would hold me up on treatment. Eventually, I will have the left removed, just hope insurance isn't a problem. My path report came back PCR, no evidence of disease, I am so grateful! I don't care what people think, we as a society need to get back to being compassionate and not so judgemental. So I'm bald and lopsided right now, I'm still a person, a Mom, a partner, daughter, sister, friend, Yogi, gardener, photographer, etc. and I am alive and dodged a bullet. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have peace.

Dx 2/11/2021, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/10/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 7/23/2021 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right
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Jul 30, 2021 01:05PM Wren44 wrote:

I think there is legislation requiring insurance to cover symmetry. It's how they can reconstruct on both sides and if you want a flat result, it should cover that as well. Just one off is not symmetrical, as I know well.

Lumpectomy and re-excision followed by mastectomy of right breast. Five years of anastrasole completed.
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Jul 31, 2021 08:41AM BBrown2021 wrote:

Thank you for posting this, and for being brave. I had a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. A month after surgery, I still had severe necrosis, and eventual implant failure. So, this week, my implants were removed, and my wounds closed. I'm now flat. It was not the choice I made, but it is the one I have to live with. I will need radiation, and so no reconstruction for at least a year after. I'm not sure what I will do, but I do want to consider going flat.

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Jul 31, 2021 03:03PM NatureYogi wrote:

BBrown2021-Give yourself time to heal, you can think about the possible recon later. We don't have much control in this world of cancer, do we? I didn't want to go back for surgery, but here I am! I'll get radiation done and once healed from that, think about how soon I will get my left beast removed.

Nurture and pamper yourself, you deserve it!

Dx 2/11/2021, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/10/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 7/23/2021 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right
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Aug 1, 2021 06:08AM helenlouise wrote:

I had BMX 2018 and chose to be flat and I hated to lose my breasts but had to be. Now I wear a Lorna Jane Pam my bra that just gives me a little shape. I didn’t want to be lopped sided or deal with prosthetics. After losing my hair twice I have decided to keep it short. So at times I look at me and think dude? Nah! I going for the Mia Farrow look! Well that what I tell myself. Actually I’m just happy to be here!

Dx 1/2013, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+ Surgery 2/3/2013 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 2/10/2013 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 2/28/2013 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 2/2018, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, 1/8 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/24/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 7/23/2018 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 8/27/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 8/27/2018 Dx 4/2/2019, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 1/8 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/16/2019, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, 1/8 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (DUAL) Dx 3/2020, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (DUAL) Targeted Therapy 3/18/2020 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 3/19/2020 Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Aug 1, 2021 10:15AM Sabbymama wrote:

In June I had my left tissue expander removed along with a prophylactic right mastectomy, and I've been flat since and I am quite comfortable with my decision. Not totally satisfied with the aesthetic results, but hopeful that once more swelling is resolved things will look better. I expected dog ears and I got em, so those will need to be addressed eventually. Going out and about with a bra has been odd so I bought a couple of cotton sports bralette-type things just to feel less exposed or I just wear a cami, but I'm in no hurry to buy the prosthetics yet. The only real drawback is the fact that my belly seems so much larger now because when I look down I don't see the boobs anymore.....LOL.

Dx 3/2/2020, DCIS/IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/10/2020 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 5/25/2020 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/14/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 6/10/2021 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right
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Aug 1, 2021 06:13PM kathindc wrote:

Sabbymama, I can relate to the looking down, lol.

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Aug 2, 2021 08:03AM CCRAIG0167 wrote:

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. There is so much to deal with no only being flat and recovering but having negativity in the home. I am currently teleworking and without going in too much. I am married to a narcissistic person and no matter what i say or do its wrong and that is not helpful in my healing. I would like nothing better than to be somewhere and just relax and have someone wait on me for a change


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Aug 2, 2021 10:35AM NatureYogi wrote:

CCRAIG0167-I'm sorry you are in a negative environment, that certainly does not help you heal physically and mentally. Hang in there and nurture and love yourself.

Dx 2/11/2021, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/10/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 7/23/2021 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right
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Aug 2, 2021 10:39AM NatureYogi wrote:

If anyone needs soft fake boobs you can get them free at Knitted Knockers.org. I am still very tender from surgery, but will need something in about 4 weeks. I have one breast, so I'll wear if I go into work. Other than that, I am not wearing any bra's, etc.

Dx 2/11/2021, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/10/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 7/23/2021 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right
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Aug 2, 2021 11:33AM - edited Aug 2, 2021 11:33AM by Sabbymama

I couldn't agree more. I requested a pair of Knitted Knockers and was pleasantly surprised at how beautifully they were made and packaged. What a lovely gesture from their volunteers! They are perfect for use as you transition to more professional prosethetics and I highly recommend anyone who is interested to reach out to them. The website is listed in the photo below.



Dx 3/2/2020, DCIS/IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/10/2020 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 5/25/2020 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/14/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 6/10/2021 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right
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Aug 2, 2021 11:34AM Sabbymama wrote:

Dx 3/2/2020, DCIS/IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/10/2020 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 5/25/2020 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/14/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 6/10/2021 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right
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Aug 2, 2021 12:09PM kathindc wrote:

CCraig, I feel your pain with living with a narcissistic husband. They certainly don’t help your mental well-being through this journey none of us wanted to take. (((HUGS))

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Aug 2, 2021 06:57PM K-Gobby wrote:

CCraig,


I am sorry for narcissistic person. I work with someone just like this. Since they cannot see themselves, they just do not know how it feels. I was looking for a way to leave the department at my work, and BC shows up. A change of plans. I will though, likely get to work from home for a few months. Our well being is a must. Reach out and ask for love and support. A saying is out there that says do not go to the hardware store for bread. Sadest is wehen we lovethem.

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Aug 3, 2021 09:50AM NatureYogi wrote:

Sabbymamma,

Thanks for sharing! They are beautiful!

Dx 2/11/2021, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/10/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 7/23/2021 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right
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Aug 3, 2021 10:00AM NatureYogi wrote:

I have a narcissistic boss, they can be absolutely horrible! I've been working from home since March, only went back for a couple weeks in July before surgery. I let it be known that there is the American Disabilities Act that protects employees undergoing cancer treatment, etc. Drives him crazy that I am working in the comfort of my own home, no stress from him!

K-Gobby- Try and work from home as long as you can, you need the peace, you have enough going on.

Dx 2/11/2021, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/10/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 7/23/2021 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right
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Oct 23, 2021 09:51PM Beck68 wrote:

goodness knows, I too have flat and concave chest with having been scrapped into bone where it had spread and I’m butchered, for my own good. And my lower rubs esp. on drastically scraped side those ribs jut out and my belly REALLY looks like it sticks so far out and I’m not big and the size of my clothes, skirts/pants are tiny in the “fashion” sense so how/why and I wasn’t even big chested my whole life yet looking down it’s crazy and others notice it as well. I have the dog ears AND my under arm on the right has a duck flap that droops over bra and sleeveless tops too a point that I get stares and I’m like, “hey, eyes 👀 up here friend, I’m up here”, lol. So sad this disease does this kinda stuff to so many of us but you are not alone my driend

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Nov 20, 2021 04:17PM cake8icing wrote:

Sabbymama, I still wear my knitted knocker and I am almost two years post surgery! I have my fancy-pants silicone prosthetic, two microbead prosthetics, the knitted knockers. But hands down, my fave is from The Busted Tank. Their single solution across the bra is SOOO comfortable, I love it!

https://www.bustedtank.com/


Dx 2/14/2020, DCIS, Left, 3cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+ Surgery 3/20/2020 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left
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Nov 21, 2021 01:06AM Sabbymama wrote:

Cake8icing.... thanks for the information! I will definitely check that out.

Sabbymama :)

Dx 3/2/2020, DCIS/IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/10/2020 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 5/25/2020 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/14/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 6/10/2021 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right

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