Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

mt1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

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Nov 15, 2012 04:49PM FernMF wrote:

We HATE solidified goo ! ! !

Dx 4/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 5/7/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/31/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Nov 15, 2012 05:03PM Linda-n3 wrote:

Mel, hoping all is going well with the shingles.  Bummer.  Glad you are on treatment!

Some of you have mentioned using camis with foobs.  Do the prostheses sort of swing with the cami or can you get a cami tight enough to hold them in place?  I think a cami would be way more comfortable than a bra, but not sure about how much motion would be involved.  I haven't tried one - had pretty mediocre fitting last year with a young fitter who really didn't seem to have a clue, but was very very sweet.  Just not overly helpful or creative or imaginative, she didn't even suggest a cami, just told me they didn't have a bra to fit me but might be able to order one, then showed me some of the ugliest bras I have ever seen that would be the style she could order for me.

Nibbana, excellent education for the doc!!! Way to go!

Hoping all are recovering from Sandy and other storms, and having a good week.

Linda - "Loving to learn; learning to love." "Gratitude leads to joy. Joy leads to prayer. Prayer leads to gratitude." "Oh, what fresh new hell is this???" - Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory Dx 7/14/2010, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 2, 19/23 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx 8/2011, IDC, Stage IIIC Dx 9/2012, IDC, Stage IIIC Dx 12/2012, IDC, Stage IV
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Nov 15, 2012 05:10PM mt1 wrote:

I put effort into finding a breast form store this week. It seems I will need to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed. Seeing as the plan is to try them on and see how they make me feel, I am putting the cart in front of the horse on that one, but I do want to know how it works.

I am going to put it aside until I feel fortified again.

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Nov 15, 2012 05:35PM - edited Nov 15, 2012 05:38PM by River_Rat

Linda-n3, the camis are close fitting and have pockets, also usually an elastic band.  The comfortable ones only have the elastic band around the front section.

Melly, I hope the shingles clear up soon and that you have success in finding some forms you like when the time is right for you.

Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
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Nov 15, 2012 05:36PM crystalphm wrote:

MT, You can go with a lovely sort of texture...I chose skeins of the softest featheriest yarn I had and put them in a bra. Not a long term solution, buy certainly do-able to see how you like "foobs". The skeins flatten out, but so nice against skin. Yes, indeed, put it aside until you feel ready for this. Just keep an "artists" open eye for out of the box thinking on this. My brother-in-law suggested this thinking when I could not tolerate foobs. I still can't tolerate a bra.... 

LInda, you can't wear silicon with seems to have to be the microbead foobs, or the memoryfoam foobs. AQnd my camis are not tight at all, like I said, I order a size larger than what I am, I like them loose. The foobs can move around a bit, I just adjust them.

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Nov 15, 2012 05:38PM River_Rat wrote:

I have worn silicone in some camis so that varies I guess.

Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
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Nov 15, 2012 05:47PM - edited Nov 15, 2012 05:50PM by Dawn7

MT1, ladies:
Why not just get some of those sew in pockets, try with a reg bra and a home made micro bead form and start slow? Or the yarn is a novel idea too. Like I said before, I don't sew- so I ordered a microbead pair for 28 dollars from a lady online who makes them- just as a try me. I did order tiny ones-basically AA as I've decided I will be more comfortable with the minimal change from flat to Foob- especially at work. I was a B in my past life! Anyhow, some online suppliers will bill your insurance for you- You just pay co pay. Liberator Medical is one. They contact your doctor for the orders- and claim to have an easy return policy. I also thought of making a little donut out of a sock and using velcro. :0) .

Surgery 10/25/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Nov 15, 2012 08:11PM Frapp wrote:

I have been told to be careful about the ones that require reimbursement. Check with your insurance co and make sure they will reimburse you.

Dx 12/24/2009, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 12/19/2011, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx 9/28/2012, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 11/2/2012 Mastectomy: Left, Right Targeted Therapy 12/20/2012 Afinitor (everolimus)
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Nov 15, 2012 09:00PM lindakr wrote:

Insurance & Camisoles - I'm not sure the coding for it, but they billed it as if it were a bra -  All three places that I shop are providers for my insurance, so they bill the insurance directly.

Crystal - This is my favorite place to go for a prosthesis fitting - if you tell them my name (Linda Rochon, Bobby's daughter) they will probably tell you how they code the cami's to bill for insurance -

Also, have bought them through this place too, and they bill my insurance - 

I wear silicone prosthesis's with all of my cami's, and the work fine, and I'm big busted. All of the cami's I've been wearing are by places like Amoena that make mastectomy bra's.

MT1 - if you're going for a fitting, it's best to make an appointment, and plan to take plenty of time, find out who has the most stock, and tell them you want to see all they've got.  They have so many different types of prosthesis, it's taken me over 2 years to find this out.  They hang differently, they're shaped different, they are for all different body types. it's really kind of fascinating!

Modified Radical MX w/axillary dissection; 6xTCH, Hercpetin for a year, Rads, trying 3rd AI Aromasin. No Reconstruction. Lymphedema. Dx 3/19/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/2/2010 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Targeted Therapy 5/15/2010 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 5/15/2010 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2010 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane), Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 9/25/2010 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 15, 2012 09:46PM Djustme wrote:

Starak -Thanks for the link to celebraties that say no to silicone. It's nice to see women who know big plastic boobs are not necessary in order to be beautiful.

I never knew you could put breast forms into camis.  That was one of the reasons why I only wore my foob about two times. It is silicone, but only a size 2 to match my remaining breast, but I couldn't tolerate the bra on my chest. A year later, I still can't tolerate a bra. I tried a homemade foob in a very light support bra for a wedding I went to, but as it was a looser type of bra the foob kept moving around and I kept checking to make sure it was in the right palce. It all just seemed like too much work and discomfort and I couldn't help feeling fake. so I gave it up. If you know a website I can find a cami with pockets, that would be appreciated, as I am having the second breast off on the 28th, and like MT1's husband, mine is having a very hard time with this.

On a brighter note - I have finally gotten brave enough to wear a sweater to work without also wearing a scarf to hide my breast/no breast.  As I have mentioned, I am only a 34 A so there is not a huge difference between the sides, but enough that it makes me uncomfortable with the lack of symmetry.  Anyway, no one I encountered stared. When I went for my flu shot today, the nurse said she hadn't noticed until after I told her that she would have to put it in the right arm as I had lymph nodes removed from the left. She says next year to remind her to put the flu shot into my thigh - has anyone else had it done that way?  Anyway, she says that her mother had breast cancer and a double mastectomy and the two of them speak to women who are having a difficult time adjusting to the whole situation.  She told me about a beautiful recon job she recently saw and that her mom wears foobs and looks just great.  I told her that I am choosing to remain flat. She only asked me if I was ok with that, but I got the impression that most of the women she helps adjust, are not okay with it.  But I guess that makes sense, because if you are okay with being flat, you wouldn't be asking to speak to a support worker (unless you wanted to talk about the effect of treatments of course).

Dx 10/5/2011, DCIS, 4cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes Surgery 11/1/2011 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Surgery 11/28/2012 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right

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