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Nov 17, 2012 08:29AM
FernM - I am a legal assistant in a law firm and have been flat much of the nearly 30 months since my BMX. Okay, during the time I was still out on leave, I went into the office and my boss, a senior partner, and "announced" that there would be no reconstruction and no prosthetics, I imagined it might be a little shocking in the beginning but I expected they would get over it, turned and walked out. Obviously as much I was upfront, confident and proactive, I was expecting something of a big deal, the stares... Never happened. I work in a corporate high rise. I go up and down the elevators every week day, walk and shop downtown nearly every day, not to mention the summer interns, and I would guess to this very day, most of the people I see all the time still have not caught on. For those who do know, it is just normal to them. It is simply Barbara. Once I started wearing the breast forms the first of the year, I only found one person in the office who actually noticed I suddenly had foobs without being told. After I told several women in the office, there was a bit of notice by them for a day or two, then everyone was off in their own little world again. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have ripped off the bra and forms halfway through the day because I could not take another minute. No notice. People are focused on their work and in their own little world.
Really you all, why do we think this is important anyway? For the same reasons that we each look in the mirror and see imperfections that only we would ever notice, I get the hypervigilance we direct at ourselves. I understand how you may not be ready to make the step to go flat yourself. I get that and would not want any of you to feel pressure to do so. But, can we step back and look at this as a spectator for a moment. You all have seen photos of Koo Stark, Linda Ellerbee, me and others fully clothed and flat. Do you look at us and feel repulsed? If you saw me in the grocery store or mall, dressed as I am in the avatar, and you were with your children or grandchildren, would you feel the need to grab their hand and whisk them out of the store before they saw me? If you said Yes, Really??
What I have come to realize for myself is that I really want to see someone else who is flat and so the truth is I am out in the world looking. I soon came to realize that if a woman is not overly endowed, I might have to scrutinize to know that she is just small and not truly flat. If I have to look that hard to know and I have a reason, why would someone with no reason to look ever notice much of anything? Why do we think this is any more important than anything else like blue eyes, grey hair, nice blouse... I am still looking for a real live standing in front of me person who is flat.
Freed 'em when they tried to kill me. BMX, no recon, center dog ears removed, currently living flat but still tending an extensive foob and mx bra experimental farm in the back of the closet.