Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

mt1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

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Jun 28, 2022 12:54PM - edited Jun 28, 2022 12:55PM by miriandra

Congrats MT1!!

I'm an out and proud uniboob! I generally wear a cupless sports bra for comfort, but no foob. I've gotten a lot of positive responses from women who have other BC survivor friends, who are considering going flat themselves, or who just appreciate seeing women being their authentic selves.

Another group who I've gotten thanks from is nonbinary and trans people. Your body can be what it is without having to display what others expect you to look like. This is my body. I have to live with it, so you can too.

Dx 5/31/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, 0/1 nodes, ER+ Surgery Mastectomy (Left)
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Jun 28, 2022 04:03PM goldcity wrote:

I am also half flat. I felt removing my “good boob” would be unnecessary surgery. My breast surgeon did an absolutely spectacular job. She left just the right amount of skin for complete range of motion. Her mission is to teach other surgeons “how to do it right”. I couldn’t wait to get measured for my fake boob. At first I wore my prosthetic when I went out (I was a little self-conscious) but a fake boob can be hot and uncomfortable after a while. Now I just wear a sports bra. I’m very comfortable with my look. My husband doesn’t seem to care about my missing boob, but does comment often on how good my scar looks. It’s been a little over a year since my surgery

Dx 9/11/2020, IDC, Right, Stage IIIC, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/8/2020 Hormonal Therapy 1/7/2021 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 6/21/2021 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right)
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Jun 28, 2022 04:25PM wren44 wrote:

Another half flat here. I was going to have the good one removed but Covid had other ideas. Now I just don't care. I can't wear any bra for longer than about 2 hours, so I don't wear one at all.

Lumpectomy and re-excision followed by mastectomy of right breast. Five years of anastrasole completed. Chemotherapy 6/17/2022 Other Surgery Lumpectomy (Right) Surgery Mastectomy (Right)
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Jul 13, 2022 11:54PM prairiedweller wrote:

Hello again. I just want to share something. We were out having dinner with friends last week, beautiful weather, so we were seated outside and I saw a woman walk by that I know just had to be someone that went flat. Walked by just like anyone else wearing a light summer blouse in a flowing fabric. It was obvious, but I don't think I would have noticed at all if this weren't something so much on my mind lately. Just like the opening post of this thread says, I look for you. I guess I was wanting to see someone brave enough to do it. They are out there.

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Jul 16, 2022 01:11PM eladnarra wrote:

I just wanted to post a thank you for this thread - I first read it 7 years ago when I tested positive for a BRCA2 mutation. I already knew that when I was ready to quit surveillance and have surgery that I was going to go flat, but this thread was my introduction to the flat community and the flat activism going on online. It made me feel even more secure in my decision.

I've started the process of finding a surgeon recently, and I found myself searching out this thread again. It's wonderful to see it is still going!

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Jul 19, 2022 08:38AM jh40 wrote:

newbie half flat here. had surgery June 16. no regrets whatsoever. there’s some weakness on my surgery side but nothing I can’t build back up again.

I do have a question if anyone can answer: I’m due to get my chemo port surgery in 8 days. my breast surgeon says she has to place it on my flat side (right). Did anyone have trouble with their port on the flat side? Any advice? I was hoping to get a picc line but my oncologist says no. Not sure why; I’ve seen women in England and Australia on far tougher chemo regimes using picc lines. I’ll be on weekly Taxol/Herceptin.

Surgery 6/16/2022 Mastectomy (Right): Simple Chemotherapy 8/1/2022 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 8/1/2022 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Dx IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2+, IHC
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Jul 21, 2022 02:03PM - edited Jul 22, 2022 06:18AM by tovahsmom

Dear mt1, thank you so much for that rant!!!!! I myself am unilaterally flat having opted for a unilateral mastectomy without reconstruction. I also choose to be lopsided without wearing a prosthesis. After I read this quote from Audre Lorde, I was floored and even more steadfast in my decisions to go about as I am - lopsided. I too look for women like me so, like Lorde says, we can be visible to each other.

Resonated with me. From poets.org: "Lorde was a noted prose writer as well as poet. Her account of her struggle to overcome breast cancer and mastectomy, The Cancer Journals (1980), is regarded as a major work of illness narrative. In The Cancer Journals, Lorde confronts the possibility of death. Recounting this personal transformation led Lorde to address the silence surrounding cancer, illness, and the lived experience of women. For example, Lorde explained her decision not to wear a prosthesis after undergoing a mastectomy in the Journals: "Prosthesis offers the empty comfort of 'Nobody will know the difference.' But it is that very difference which I wish to affirm, because I have lived it, and survived it, and wish to share that strength with other women. If we are to translate the silence surrounding breast cancer into language and action against this scourge, then the first step is that women with mastectomies must become visible to each other.""

Patricia, Age 56, Dx DCIS, IDC, Right Mastectomy Dx 8/18/2009, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 1/11/2010 Whole breast: Breast Dx 7/15/2015, Left Dx 3/1/2019, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 5/31/2019 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 7/17/2019 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jul 21, 2022 11:07PM miriandra wrote:

OMG, I love that!!! Thank you for sharing it.

Dx 5/31/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, 0/1 nodes, ER+ Surgery Mastectomy (Left)
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Jul 29, 2022 05:29PM surviving60 wrote:

I have cancer in one breast opposite quandrants so I will loose that one for sure. Currently going through treatment then surgery. I believe I want to go ahead and remove the other as well for asthetic purposses as I don't want implants. I am looking for input as to any regrets or satisfaction in simular situations. I have DD breasts so i know it will be a huge change but I hate wearing a bra and I can't image trying to wrestle one with one natural breast and one prosthetic.

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Jul 29, 2022 07:18PM miriandra wrote:

I can only imagine what a DD prosthetic would be like to deal with. 0_0

I'm a borderline B/C cup. My surgeon told me that at my size, a unilateral mastectomy would probably be easily manageable. She said that women who were larger sometimes developed back pain because of the weight imbalance on their chest. Breasts can be heavy! I usually just wear a cup-less sports bra, and am very comfortable.

Dx 5/31/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, 0/1 nodes, ER+ Surgery Mastectomy (Left)

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