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Jun 15, 2017 06:23PM
I haven't had my bilateral mastectomy yet, because I only found out I was BRCA2 positive on the day I had my lumpectomy in October 2016. (If we'd known before that, I would have had the BMX instead of the lumpectomy.) Chemo and radiation followed, and two weeks ago I had my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed. I'm on the hormone blocker Anastrozole (since mid-April) and am having no problems or side effects, so now I'm just waiting for the surgeon to let me know when we can safely schedule the BMX--probably 3-6 months after the completion of radiation, which was in April. I have chosen no reconstruction for a number of reasons, including that I'm a yoga teacher and want/need to have full mobility as well as want all my muscles to be where they're supposed to be. I've been single for about 10 years with only a handful (pun intended) of "second base" events, so having reconstruction for sexual reasons seems, um, like wishful thinking. (If I do meet a man and he's put off by my being flat, he's not the right man anyway, correct?) Plus, surgical complications. Plus, you can't feel reconstructed breasts, they exist for cosmetic purposes and/or for other people.
This is not to say I'm not a little sad about losing the 36DDs I've had since age 14. They have given me much pleasure, fed my child, and oh man did I get a lot of attention in my teens, twenties, and thirties and forties. But I'm kind of looking forward to having all this treatment and preventive treatment in my rear view mirror. I suppose that if I'd had the BMX in the first place, I would have let myself be talked into the expanders, but having seen several women in my chemo cohort have terrible complications and their expanders removed, I'm relieved that I didn't go that route, not that I even had a choice.
And I'm kind of psyched about figuring out new ways to wear clothes. My daughter, who is 25 and very stylish, has promised to help, and that will be fun. I'm not sure I'll be going topless around the house, but you never know.
Love to all, and let's see how I feel after the deed is done. I am of course hoping for a truly flat chest with no sloppy flaps and I also want really good, even stitching. I haven't decided about having tattoos, which I gather is a choice that's growing in popularity, but there's an area where I wouldn't have a clue what I wanted anyway. Stars? Spirals? Fireworks? Flowers and Ivy? Drawn-on breasts? Too much to consider.
Love to all,
9/15/2016, ILC/IDC, Right, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 9/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
10/4/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel
2/23/2017 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
4/18/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
AC + T (Taxol)