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Jul 14, 2017 10:05PM
All of those weird thoughts you're having are perfectly normal. You are about to have a surgery that will forever change your body. It's scary and waiting for it is incredibly nerve-wracking.
I had my surgery in April, BMX with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction. I found the surgery and recovery to be a lot easier than chemo. I was fortunate that everything went so smoothly for me. I really hate being dependent on others, so maybe that's what helped me get back on my feet so quickly.
And you're right about getting some sleep during surgery. I woke up from the 10 hour surgery feeling refreshed and rested. Having nurses waiting on me hand and foot for six days was pretty relaxing as well.
As far as worrying about not waking up from surgery, that's a pretty common fear. But it's extremely rare for it to actually happen. More likely is that you'll have a successful surgery with no major complications.
Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for something to ease your fear on surgery day. Just make sure the anesthesiologist knows about it.
Good luck. It'll be over and done with before you know it.
8/30/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
8/30/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
9/6/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
9/28/2016 AC + T (Taxol)
4/4/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap