Need advise-going flat

I had a bilateral mastectomy in May of this year and did not do reconstruction. However, I am 70, and I don't know how I would have felt about it at your age. I have had to get some different shirts/tops, but other than that, it has been fine. The mastectomy bras with the heavy silicone inserts are hot and I don't like the sports bras. So I am flat and really comfortable! My breasts were not who I am and I don't miss them. I only had to have one removed but felt that I did not want to worry about the other one. I would do the same thing again if I had to. No regrets

You're about my age (I was 36 when I had mine done in 2016) and your breasts, as well as your attitude toward them, sound a lot like mine too.

I haven't had any regrets about my BMX or going flat; I've loved every second I've been flat because those big, lumpy, saggy, painful, cyst filled nightmares were gone and, for the first time since they grew in, I didn't have pain in my chest area.

Yeah, the drains were annoying, but not nearly as painful or annoying as my breasts had been AND they were gone after a week.

The worst part about healing was learning to be less active and not over-reach (literally, like, for 4 weeks you're basically a T-rex, and for 6-8 you can't easily raise your arms fully over your head so you're a partial T-rex) and to rest when my body was tired instead of trying to 'push through it'.

It took maybe 2 months before I could comfortably sleep on my sides again, so that was a bit annoying, but I knew it was also temporary so it wasn't a big deal.

The worst part about my recovery was having the stitches removed at 2 weeks, as I heal pretty fast and skin had started to grow over the stitches, so it kind of hurt to have them snipped and pulled. It was over in less than 5 minutes though, so, no big deal.

I did have to have one revision to get rid of dog ears and some extra fat that was left behind, but that was a super minor procedure and the only inconvenience was having to wear compression for a few weeks to help keep swelling from the lipo down. The pain from the liposuction on the area was worse than the actual BMX itself.

I do still have small numb patches, but I don't notice them unless I'm scratching the area as the numb patches can feel heat, cold, and pressure, but have a dulled sense of pain.

No complaints about how I look or how clothes fit; I actually prefer how I look with a flat chest to how I looked with big ol' DDs. The only things that look 'bad' to me: Babydoll style t-shirts, but I didn't wear those much anyway.

The main physical appearance thing to be aware of is, if you don't already have a pretty flat stomach, you will be surprised at how big your gut actually is. I thought I looked about 7 months pregnant after my BMX because my breasts had balanced the look a bit and without them sticking out further than my stomach, well...yeah. BUT, if that bothers you it can be taken care of by watching what you eat and exercising regularly.

One thing to keep in mind is that reconstruction isn't a "now or never" thing; if you decide down the road that you'd really like to have breasts again, you can always have reconstruction--flap or TE to implant--done in the future.

Edit to add: After any major surgery, it's pretty normal to feel depressed and it generally passes in a couple of weeks; I was mostly depressed over not being able to do everything for myself and having to rely on my husband to get dishes out of the cabinets, and other little things like that. I was determined that I was going to bathe myself, and figured out pretty fast how to bend other parts of my body to compensate for not being able to raise my arms very high. Bending over at the waist made it pretty easy to wash my own hair.

There are no guarantees- even with mastectomy and no recon, you will still need to be vigilant and have follow up, further imaging etc.

I'm 44 and elected to go with UMX without recon. I'm pretty active- especially swimming- and that is most important for my quality of life. It seemed there is plenty of evidence that recon may cause issues with movement, especially sub pec implants. And I know myself. If I find something uncomfortable it bugs me, I'll have difficulty just blocking it out. So that meant I'd prob be better with own tissue recon, but I just wasn't motivated enough to go through that long surgery, plus I don't have much extra tissue to use! My husband was supportive of whatever decision I made.

Interestingly, the BS was motivated to do recon and seemed very surprised that I did not want to do it. However the breast cancer specialist nurses I spoke to were very supportive, and stated that in their experience, recovery without recon was generally easier.

I had the UMX around 14 days ago- no recon. Recovery has been very uncomplicated, I had the drains out 3 days after surgery, and it is looking neat (which is what I asked for!). I was a B cup, so I've been able to get away with just wearing tanks and a loose shirt over (it's summer here, and hot). I am sure that there will be times when I miss having symmetry, but overall I feel clear about why I made the decision that I did, and I am comfortable with that.

I had dissolvable stitches that had glue on top of them, so no issues at all with that. They were healed within a matter of a week or two and now are just faint lines.

I'm laughing at Chairara's response about her stomach, because I looked done and said where the hell did that come from??? I've been working hard at not looking 7 months pregnant but it's really really hard. But I am persevering!

I was 64, and had BMX. 5 years ago. I’m still flat no regrets and still not interested in recon. I just didn’t want to spend any more time in a hospital or dr office than was necessary. Or more pain, risk of problems no thanks. Every one is different it’s a tough call. And the Buddha belly is a surprise 🤪.

My treatment choice was a lumpectomy with rads, or a mastectomy. I chose a mastectomy, mainly because I didn't want to do rads, and I figured once they took off my nipple (where the cancer was) and a clear margin, what would be left would be very strange looking,, so I did UMX. After 4 years, and dealing with being lop-sided, and truncal LE issues,, I decided to have Righty removed. that was on Nov 30, so I'm still recovering. No regrets at all. I was tired of having that sagging C cup, and trying to deal with my truncal LE issues with Righty getting in the way. My compression choices will be much better now that I am flat. I was 54 at diagnosis, so older than you are.

And remember even though you do not want to have recon now,,, you can still change your mind down the road. I had a plastic surgeon tell me that, and there are women on this forum who have done it.

I had both invasive and in situ in my left breast, and was on the larger side at the time but there was no question, take them both. As I told friends at the time, and no one debated me on it, I hate bras more than anything else in the world and at this point in life they were more comedy props than objects of desire. I also hate swimming in circles, so take them both. Okay, I was mid fifties at the time but I have not regretted it since, except that I have yet to break a certain weight plateau and achieve having a waistline less than my tit-less chest measurements. I was already buying men's shirts if only for the good pockets and now darts are pointless for me and, though straight, I am not a girly girl.

The mastectomy was fourish years and thirty pounds ago (the MX only removed 4 lbs.). I had scar revision to remove 'dog ears', and the resultant side tit look that no one strives for, especially if there is no front tit. I had an eye lid lift at the same time because if I am not going to have the hooters, I might as well have the peepers.

Sometimes I'll put on some foundation garment and stuff the cups and now it just looks weird to me. It's a challenge to be fashionable and flat, when your chest and waist is the same. Ten pounds more and maybe...but this plateau is endless. I might have broken it last year had I not fallen out of a tree I was pruning and broke my back and five ribs, that set me back another year I guess....but I digress.

My mom had BC before I did and we went prosthetic shopping together for her. The saleslady was so 'proud' that they had the weight and feel of real breasts and they did, but I was asking myself 'why would I choose to carry this extra weight for the sake of looking...I don't know, looking normal? I've never been normal nor do I care much what folks think, besides that I've heard they laugh at my floppy busom.

Don't worry about it, I've not regretted it for a second.

I initially had a skin sparing mastectomy as I wanted to hedge my bets. I hated having big boobs but didn’t want to make any rash decisions while focusing on the cancer treatment. I loved not having breasts but found the side boobs annoying so went back to get the skin removed knowing I was happy with my decision not to have reconstruction. I had infections with both my original surgery and my revision and was glad to not be concerned about reconstruction complications.

I'm 40 and had single mx Nov 15. I am a B cup and it's winter, so I'm just wearing sweaters and scarves to cover small lack of the symmetry. I haven’t even shopped for a falsie yet. I know I don't need to make a final decision on reconstruction, and in fact would have to wait at least a year before doing it, but I think I'm staying like this. My recovery from mastectomy was easy but I have small children and don't want to spend more time in hospital.

I am really enjoying the book “living in the post masectomy body" by Becky Zuckweiler. It deals with practical and psychological aspects of going flat, and is written in a personal, accessible away.

Geneva

Hi, It is a personal decision - truly.

For me it was easy, my RH Breast was full of cancer, the LH Breast none showed - but it could have been there.

We didn't know if my lymph nodes were involved at the time of my surgical decision.

I had to decide VERY FAST as the cancer was already breaking through my breast skin!

My team assumed chemotherapy and radiation; reconstruction would have been difficult -- but that was not an issue for me at all.

I knew instantly that I did NOT want reconstruction. For me, I did not want any unnecessary surgeries.

My team advised me that my LH Breast may or may not be cancerous and that it truly was a 50/50 chance. I decided to remove it as well as the RH Breast. I did NOT want to take any chances.

My decision was a good one, upon biopsy my LH Breast did have in-situ cancer in it. Many, many lymph nodes were removed on the RH Side along with my RH Side Breast.

I have had ZERO surgical complications. My chest healed in a very nice, almost straight line (the surgical cut). And pretty darn smooth as well. Five years later, you can barely see the scars!

I have had ZERO regrets on no reconstruction and no breasts. I was in my early 50's at the time of my diagnosis and surgery.

I did not even bother with new bras, or fake breasts, or anything! I just bought new tops, without darts and that's that. It's that easy for me. I buy shirts with small little sleeves and more fullness at necklines. Honestly, I don't think the general public even notices. I have gotten very used to my new body, and I got used to it very quickly.

I wish you the best in your decision and sending a hug as well

I will jump in - I just had a BMX on May 3, 2017. I had one definite ILC in left breast along with two smaller areas of suspicion. When he said he needed to take the breast, I said make that plural and he did. I don't regret that decision at all. We had a trip to Alaska planned for May to celebrate my 70th birthday but had surgery instead. So I really got the gift of life instead of Alaska.

After my surgery, I went to the breast boutique at the hospital and got fitted for a prosthetic bra with the silicone inserts. Didn't take me long to realize that I hate them. They are heavy and hot. I never liked wearing a bra in the first place so why would I want one again just to look "normal?" But the woman there said oh you will feel so much better because you will look like you did before your surgery. Ha!! I am the same person and I don't need boobs to define who I am.

ANd then I went and got a tattoo! My first ever. It's on my calf and is a blue/green butterfly on a pink ribbon with the word Warrior over it.

I am strong, I am a survivor, and I am a warrior. So are we all

I'll jump in. I had bmx 5 months ago and final swap 3 months ago. I don't regret the bmx that for a minute. I am regretting having silicon implants. They look okay, but they are functionally lousy. My pectorals spasm all the time and I had limited range of motion and weakness largely from the extended recovery, so need physical therapy (and the insurance company is not sympathetic). The doctors all want to fix you and they think you need reconstruction to be fixed. The cancer society site doesn't even mention discomfort as a side effect. I was told there was NO downside to having implants and the extra recovery was only a couple of weeks. Stupid me for believing the salesman (PS). Reconstruction slows recovery, you feel like you are wearing tupperware under your skin (or a brass bra), I have to wear a full coverage bra 24/7 to have any semblance of comfort, but every bra rides on the sore muscles and suture sites. Sleeping is a nightmare. I wanted not to have to wear an uncomfortable prosthetic bra, now I feel like I have an internal one I can't remove. I wanted to not have a constant reminder, now I do. Going flat is a good option and if you want you can always get a foam bra that's light and comfier than what I have to wear, or a silicon one you can remove.

I have found my people. Hallelujah!

I am 36, had a single, modified, skin-sparring mastectomy last January (2017). Opted to do recon "later." Actually because I had the occasional cigarette, I was told that even trying to put an expander was "extremely risky," and I was in such shock about the initial diagnosis that I wasn't going to add any additional risks. Not sure why any skin was sparred because lo and behold, I am not a candidate for implants post-rads according to the PS I have consulted. I was actually quite happy to go the flap route, eventually. But then found that since I wanted to go smaller (carrying around only 1 DD these days), it would be one surgery for the flap with a long recovery. Then one surgery to reduce and lift Lefty. Then any number of corrective surgeries to achieve symmetry. Come again, now?

I have had big boobs since my early teens and I have never been particularly attached to them, so to speak. But having 1 DD and one sad little dog-ear is un-flipping-bearable. I've been fitted for a nice prosthesis. Hate it. I hate everything about being lopsided. And I've never hated much of anything in my life. Being one-boobed is the worst part of this ordeal so far. So, I brought up going flat with my wonderful husband and he says, "go for it." But for some reason, I worry this will affect both of us more than we know.

After going through so much over the past year, I just want to move on and move past this, not think of another year of surgeries. I am so thankful to have found this page. Any words of advice, wisdom, or support will be much appreciated. Thanks to you all!