Topic: How have you adjusted to being Half Flat?

Jan 10, 2018 02:08AM - edited Jan 10, 2018 02:09AM by Axolotl

Hi Sara,

I thought about going half flat when I had my mastectomy recently. In the end I decided to have a skin-saving DTI reconstruction. I'm still on the fence about what I would be most happy with long term. The reason I decided to go with reconstruction is that I thought I would regret not trying, and I wasn't sure how I would adjust to being half flat. If I'd had a bilateral mastectomy I might have chosen differently. I also wanted to get everything over in one surgery. I was not too keen to use tissue expanders, or have multiple or longer surgeries. I am still getting used to the reconstructed breast and it's still healing. At this point I just want it too heal without complications. But in the long-term, if I am not happy I will have it removed.

When I was looking for information, I didn't find much information about going-half flat. I'd be interested in hearing from women who made that decision. i have seen quite a few posts from women who are fully flat and feel confident about that choice.

Jan 10, 2018 09:20PM Hanging_in_there wrote:

This is my 9th month after a single mastectomy. I am so uncomfortable. I was not eligible for any of the autologous reconstruction (that I would do - I wanted Diep). I didn't want to have multiple surgeries with implants.

I lost 30 lbs during chemo. I had gained weight over 10 years and my breasts became large (they used to be A). But with the weight loss, my remaining boob is sort of hanging and causes pain without bra after awhile. While my mastectomy side still has pain from surgery and it hurts to where a bra (and I'm talking stretch non-support bra which is more comfortable). So no bra, my boob hurts, bra, my scar hurts. I'm going to discuss with surgeon to remove second one so I can go without any bra when I want and will not be in pain.

Jan 11, 2018 10:06PM MexicoHeather wrote:

Hanging in: December was the 12 month anniversary of being Uni. I was pretty small to begin with, and I do have some other pain in the breast from a cyst and I can tell where all the calcification is. Big sigh. The surgeon offered to ultrasound the cyst, but I just can deal with it right now -- maybe in April. But, I am happy to have it still. I wear camisoles. I hate by foob.

Jan 14, 2018 01:38PM sm627 wrote:

Thank you MexicoHeather, for sharing your experiences with me. I am sorry to hear that you are still going through so much with health whiles. I wish you all the best. What do you not like about your foob vs wearing your camisole? Take Care, Sara

Sswp- thank you for the suggestions about the coobie bra I will look into it. Glad that is working out for you. I wish you well in your healing process. By the way, I saw your singing video on another thread with your family you were amazing. Wishing you well. Take Care, Sara

Feb 2, 2018 04:04AM Lunaru wrote:

I am 55 and entering my 12th year being half flat (uni-boob, I think someone else said) and it hasn't been without certain challenges emotionally and physically. Yet, probably the issues I grapple with most are those related to clothing and support-wear. Sharing emotions: after surgery I had to get used to the modified me (I refused recon because it seemed so invasive and I really didn't want extensive surgery etc. Besides, what if I got cancer in the other breast? I'd do recon again?! No thank you!) My husband supported my decision and he's remained very devoted. Today, I wear a foob, but I'm thinking about going half flat full-time. Physically, scar tissue healed well but I have had some mild lymphedema in armpit area. A physical therapist showed me how massage helps and it has. Swelling is not often, so hopefully it will remain that way. Ok, biggest frustration has been with prosthetics and bras, not to mention swimwear. I have experimented with many great ideas (must check out Coobie!) thanks to valuable advice on this forum. I started with the silicone prosthesis and they were too heavy and hot. Over time they stretched out the mastectomy bras too. I transitioned to lighter weighted foam breast forms and they're okay but in hot weather still too warm. Knitted knockers are super comfy and cleverly designed but can be warm in summertime. I tried crocheting one but stitches were too lumpy :) For daily wear, really been liking my Tatastogo -a nylon bag filled with lightweight beads which you can adjust size as needed. It breathes in warm weather yet isn't too heavy. And supposedly you can wear in regular bra without it traveling. This week I experimented and it seemed to stay put. Let's talk swim forms. My first was silicone with convex shape. Big mistake. Exiting the pool, the weight of it paired with wet suit resulted in one “breast" sagging down near my bellybutton. Tried small weighted foam form, yet too small; bead-filled triangular exercise form, which isn't bad, and the modified bathing scrunchy, which works well, but could use maybe a small weight. Still, every dressing situation requires a decision on best foob to use. My left breast isn't as large as it used to be (if only it could be smaller still!) and I think with a good sports bra I could just go out uni-boob style, to exercise or just do daily activities. Still I try to wrap my mind around why I feel uncomfortable going outside or to my job half flat? Afraid someone will ask me about having breast cancer? Wondering if younger kids in my extended family will ask questions...will I feel awkward? I'm fine with friends and older family members, though. Actually I did go out half flat a couple times recently, chatted with neighbors and honestly I don't think they even noticed. If I was full flat, that would be awesome but I don't want breast reduction surgery. No surgery, unless necessary. Many women have done clever things with clothes, and others do artistic tattoos which are very beautiful! I'd love a tattoo but worry about exacerbating the lymphedema. Sorry for the long post, it's a lot of history, but maybe it will answer some of your questions. I have no regrets of not doing reconstruction. For me, this was best decision. Wishing you all good health and peace in New Year

Feb 2, 2018 05:08PM - edited Feb 2, 2018 05:13PM by Erica

Hi Lunaru,

Welcome and thanks for your interesting post. Although I've had a bilateral mastectomy, I can relate to your feelings of discomfort about going half flat. For me, even though I'm symmetrical, I feel uncomfortable for some of the same reasons you mentioned. Yet, I'm certainly glad I didn't have reconstruction.

Also, I was interested in the breast forms that you like -- Ta-tas To Go. I hadn't heard of them, even though I write about breast form options for my non-profit website, BreastFree.org. I looked at the Ta-tas To Go website and am interested in trying them out, but I couldn't figure out from the website how heavy they are. The site does say they can be worn "in a support bra of any kind." This sounds as if their weight might be comparable to silicone forms. Is that correct? I'm glad they've been comfortable for you and not too warm, as that's been my biggest problem with most breast forms.

Feb 3, 2018 01:41PM - edited Feb 3, 2018 01:42PM by Lunaru

Hi Erica,

I have visited your website before and it is also a wonderful site! Very inspiring stories—thank you for providing such a great resource!

Your query as to the weight of the Tatastogo prompted me to do a comparison. Yes, they are heavier than the silicone forms, but because they breathe (even with the nylon outer pouch) I guess they feel lighter in that way. Also wearing a normal bra felt better for once! While it was a supporting bra, it did not have underwires (which I never wore much even before BC-wires were uncomfortable). I purchased a large Tata and I think it too big. Because I have so much extra beads, I might order just a medium empty pouch to try. My large pouch has more capacity than i use.

Re: comparison: I took pictures which I couldn't load —sorry!

(Photo of Still You, foam/silicone weight, size D, 8oz. & Activeflow, beads, size 8, 7.5 oz. & Tata, Large, beads, size C-D, 10.5 oz.)

(Photo of Tata measurement, approximately 6 inches around)

(Photo of Tata with velcro opening, some beads in a baggie and some individual beads scattered)

I used a kitchen scale to weigh these. The sandwich bag of beads weighs about 7 oz., so 3-4 oz. less than Tata. I included a view of the opening so you can add with a funnel or pour out/remove beads as needed. Over past few years, my remaining breast is a bit smaller (and saggier) so I removed some beads. If pouch were more compact, maybe one could use fewer beads. Still very comfortable to wear.

I use the Activewear/activeFlo for swimming and exercise; in sports bra it fills the space, breathes a little, but will travel if not restrained. Forget doing downward dog in regular sports bra. I'm sure any breast form will travel without mastectomy sports bra. BTW, I have never tried adhesive forms, but my skin is so sensitive to adhesive tapes, I think I would have allergic reaction. If you know of a good mastectomy sports bra, I would love to know!

Hope you find this helpful :)

Thank you!

Feb 3, 2018 06:57PM sm627 wrote:

Hi Lunaru,

Thank you so much for sharing all that you have been through with trying different foobs and what the ups and downs are to both. You are amazing and truly inspiring to me. Is the Tatastogo the one you wear daily for everyday activity or do you use other foobs for different occasion? Do you have to replace the foobs after a while or are some of them reusable that you can clean like the Tatastogo.

What kind of bras have you found most helpful to you with the different foobs? I have been having a hard time finding good bras my old ones I used to wear don't work as well anymore. The sports bras i have are okay sometimes but they can get to tight at times. When do you think you might try going half flat full time? I have gone out half flat for the past 7 months since my mastectomy and no one seems to notice. I do find myself looking at other women's breasts and either missing my breast when it was healthy or saying to myself enjoy your boobs while you still have them.

When you look back over the last 12 years how long do you think it took you to embrace your new uniboob normal?

Thank you for your uniboob wisdom you have helped me so much.

Take Care,

Sara

Feb 4, 2018 06:54AM Lunaru wrote:

Hi Sara,

Thank you for the kind words, but really, I learned all about foobs from the very brave and brilliant women on this site, as well as Breastfree, Knitted Knockers, etc. There are so many creative people here-they inspire me! It is sheer luck that I have avoided many complications because my treatment was minimal due to early detection. My heart goes out to all who have not only had to fight this evil disease, but must endure painful consequences of treatment. Kudos and peace to them.

You are in the SF Bay Area; have you ever been to The Next Step boutique? The women there are so wonderful and supportive. Marita, Tammy, and Julie are very knowledgeable and helpful. After my mastectomy, they really helped me. My surgeon recommended them. They have bras, lingerie, swimwear, plus wigs, hats for women undergoing chemo. They had several breast prostheses in silicone, foam...swim/sport types. They take most insurance too, when you get the bra prescription from your doctor. Their info:

Next Step: 15400 National Ave, suite 120, Los Gatos

408-358-8433

I can wash all the foobs, by hand, and I only had one silicone one start to leak, oddly. I was in Vegas, so guess what happens in Vegas will stay in Vegas. :) I did donate a couple I no longer used...need to do that again. All have held up well. I wear most the three mentioned in last post, plus knitted knocker, depending on what I’m wearing and activity I will be doing.

Bras: I wear quite often because they’re very comfy, but not sexy: Amoena Mona. They will wear out, stretch out, eventually. I have three, worn out four previously. Also have Amoena Isabel, that has lacey bit around the cleavage area, so I can wear lower cut blouses. Just purchased a Bali 3463/8540 non-mastectomy bra and tatas held well in that as well as Amoena Isabel. I have cute mastectomy leopard-print bra, probably Amoena...bought at Next Step. Occasionally wear a Playtex 18-hour 4608. While I don’t own Coobie bra, I do have Genie bras and they do have small opening to insert a foob. Sadly some went in the dryer and shrank, thus aggravates lymphedema when bra is tight. Should donate those. Don’t wear them often. The one I like the most has lacey front. Sport bras are non-mastectomy: Champion maxsupport 1602. I might attempt to sew a pocket.

I tried on some tops tonight and I do have some where it’s not noticeable that I’m half flat, due to the pattern and loose fit. Others that are snug and the top accentuates my asymmetrical front...I think I’d wear a foob with those. I experimented while wearing a genie bra. Anything with a cup would look lumpy, yes? I admire your confidence to go outside half flat! I bet if I did it more, it would get easier? However, if I lost the 20-30 pounds I need to lose, I think it would be enough to minimize difference of my half-flatness.

I think there are breast reduction exercises out there-has anyone tried them?

Uniboob normal...will I ever fully embrace it? Accept it, for sure. I liked my husband’s observation, something like people go thru life and sometimes one needs an amputation and you just try to accept, adapt, and move on. We have a friend with amputated leg and you’d never know it. He hikes and bikes and embraces life. He lost his wife to breast cancer...she was an amazing woman. :(

We lost our breasts, but we can move on...I think it’s difficult in such a breast-centric culture. And yet, so many women get this disease; I think the tattoos project for mastectomy patients was terrific at raising awareness and helping to empower women. Where once there was a breast, now there is art! A badge of strength! Still, I worry about tattoos and lymphedema...does it exacerbate the condition? Maybe apply temporary tattoos?

I go thru periods of wanting to be symmetrical or finding better solutions with foobs, bras, etc. but then those times pass and honestly, most days I barely give it a thought. When I see my surgeon and she tells me of new recon developments, I listen but then decide that, no, I don’t want more surgery. If I did opt for more surgery, I’d want breast reduction on remaining breast. Yet, if I were diagnosed younger, like in my 20s, would I have considered reconstruction? Possibly. In my 40s, though, no. I really didn’t see a need. I was ok with adapting to the change and, foremost, getting cancer-free. For everyone, it’s truly a personal decision and a life experience that we mull over. Maybe it’s really how to adapt this condition to our lives, rather than adapting our lives to this situation.

Hope you find this helpful, Sara-

Thank you!

:

Feb 4, 2018 03:35PM - edited Feb 4, 2018 03:39PM by Erica

Hi Lunaru,

Thanks for all the info about the Ta-tas To Go. They may be too heavy for me because I prefer not to wear structured bras, but sounds as if they are another good option for a lot of women. I'm like you -- even before breast cancer, I didn't wear bras with underwires. Since my mastectomy, I'm even more sensitive. And now that I haven't worn a structured bra in several years, I think it would be hard to adjust.

I'm glad you found BreastFree.org helpful. It's exciting to see a variety of resources for going flat (or half-flat), and articles in various papers and magazines.

Feb 5, 2018 10:13PM sm627 wrote:

Hi Lunaru,

Wow thank you so very much for the uniboob bra wealth of information where to find them too. This has been incredibly helpful now i can try out some of the bras that have worked for you. Thank You! Glad to know you are from the Bay Area too. I will check out Next Step I have an appointment with my Breast Surgeon at the end of this month, so i will ask her about it then. Thank you for your wise words if you don't mind I am going to add your saying "Maybe it's really how to adapt this condition to our lives, rather than adapting our lives to this situation." to my breast cancer scrapbook i am making for myself. Your words and all the other wonderful strong women on this site inspire me so much. I like the temporary tattoo idea I don't think I could ever get a real one to scary about what might happen down the line.

So sorry that you lost a friend to breast cancer that is so sad. I lost a friend last year to pancreas cancer I guess every morning that we wake up we should be thankful that we are here to live another day.

Thank you again Lunaru! you have made my day.

All the best,

Sara

Feb 12, 2018 02:30AM Lunaru wrote:

Hi Sara,

What a great idea making a scrapbook! I wish I had done something like that when I was going through this back then. It’s a nice way to remember inspiring words, and seems therapeutic, as it is an emotional roller-coaster when you have cancer. By the way, have you ever heard of Matuschka? She was a model who had a mastectomy and became an artist/activist. Just looked her up (yay google and Wikipedia) and 22 years after her mastectomy I just learnedshe tried a controversial reconstruction, which had 6 surgeries! It’s odd she did this, as she used to be so open about it all.

I am sorry you lost a friend to pancreatic cancer...that one is especially bad, since survivor rates are so minimal. Sadly, I have lost more than one friend to breast cancer. At least, I believe breast cancer treatments are better now than 10 or 20 or even 50 years ago, so hopefully more women and men can survive.

Thank you again for your kind words. I hope you find the Next Step helpful. I still wish I could go out half flat more. On weekends I have tried it a little, but at my job, not so sure. Of course, why should I worry? I am in my cube all day! Seriously, I still wish there were some clothes that were strategically designed to obscure our half flatness.

I have come across some online, but they are either expensive or out of business. I think there is a local community college with a fashion design class. They sometimes have open house. I should share my woes next time!

You are right about every day we wake up, we should be thankful we are still here. Cheers to that! :)

Feb 13, 2018 08:05PM - edited Feb 14, 2018 09:50AM by annie-2

Lunaru,

In Summer, you don't have to layer.....wear a sleeveless long tank top, just over your shorts or jeans......can't be tucked in.

I use the elastic anchor every day and it works on any bra. You will have to experiment on where it works best for you.

Last time I was at the bra fitters she said she had never seen anything like it and said she was going to pass it on to other customers.

Now watch someone come up with something similar and make $$ from it. I don't care.....it works for me. Hope it works for you all.

JO-5

Feb 13, 2018 09:01PM pingpong1953 wrote:

I'll be joining the half-flat club on 2/27. I'm not interested in reconstruction at this point, and I'd have to erase the memory of surgical drains from my mind before I'd even consider an elective surgery like that. I' a C-cup, so I'm going to look quite unbalanced without something in the right side of my bra. My sister knitted me a couple of knitted knockers, so I'll start with that and do some experimenting. Thanks to everyone for sharing their ideas!

Feb 13, 2018 11:56PM sm627 wrote:

Hi Sam2u,

Thank you for the suggestion to look into camisoles at Modesty4me. I looked at the website the other day and the camisoles look very nice how do they feel on your body? Do they have any kind of support for your other breast? What do you like about them the most? I am considering buying some to try them out.

Thank you! Hugs,

Sara