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Aug 28, 2018 08:05PM
Aug 28, 2018 08:08PM
I am a big woman and have had huge "girls" all my life. I used to be able to work a party like nobody else. My boobs were the brunt of hundreds of jokes and a big part of how I self identified. 21 years ago, however, the girls turned on me and I had my first breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy, 14 nodes removed, radiation and chemo. All this was followed by 2 full years of infections. They finally opened me up to my chest wall and my partner had to stuff medicated gauze in twice every day until it grew from the inside out. 5 years later I had uterine and fallopian cancers resulting in a complete hysterectomy. Then in 2016, I was diagnosed with a different type of breast cancer (My first was triple negative Grade 1 Stage 1 - my second was ER Positive Stage 1 Grade 3.5) So - I had more surgery, more radiation, more chemo - bald for the third time). THEN just after I completed my Herceptin infusions, I went in for my regular annual mammogram and they found an area that was "suspicious" in my right breast - the good one that never caused any problems before. I had a very painful biopsy that bled like crazy and bruised and waited a week to find out it was negative - no cancer....
That was enough for me, however. I cannot keep doing this. Enough is enough... I know how to fix that. I just have the girls removed. My surgeon is fabulous. My wife is fully supportive as are my friends. We had just invited them all over for my 65th birthday party and found out my surgeon is pregnant so a fast surgery was needed if I wanted her around for the followup business - which I do.... So we un-invited my friends and in the process made a general announcement. Surgery is tomorrow and I am well versed in all the issues that can happen from back flesh bulging to "dog ears?". I am a diabetic so have no plans for reconstruction. I have been wearing a prosthetic on one side for many years - especially after my most recent surgery as my left breast was about 1/4 the size of the other.
As a "big girl" my boobs have really let me down over the past couple of decades. What used to be perky and lovely had become downward looking and had settled at about my waist. Sorry to be so graphic but I think you can see that while I may miss the girls... The girls I miss are the ones of many years ago. .I am so looking forward to losing the quiet fear that was always at the back of my mind - Do I have more cancer? My chance of more breast cancer is (or will be tomorrow) 1 - 2 %. That I can live with. My oncologist commented as we were chatting a few weeks ago. "Your next cancer will be breast cancer." Well. I am taking care of that. I believe in the power of prayer so if any of you are so inclined, I would appreciate any kind thoughts you can send my way. Surgery will be at 8 am Pacific Time Wed. August 29, 2018.
Scarlett (Debra) www.funwithchemo.com
1/20/1998, DCIS/IDC: Tubular, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-
9/25/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
11/7/2016 Lumpectomy; Reconstruction (left)