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Oh yeah, I hear you. Especially on the anemia and depression part. I was told to take iron pills by the hematologist, even though I was only very slightly anemic, if at all. My GP (that I quit) said the lymphadenopathy was probably "stress" or "anxiety" (which I translayed as "since I don't know what is bothering you or why you have an 8cm lymph node in your lower neck...it's probably a manifestation of a diseased mind and not my level of competency).

I will say, to be a little less snarky for a moment, I was very vitamin D deficient for many years. (This was found by a neurologist after I started having a lot of "complex" migraines that mimicked strokes.) I'm more or less migraine-free now that I'm not ridiculously vitamin D deficient.

But, the iron pills did zilch. And I was only at the lower end of normal, anyway, as I recall.

The other funny thing, remember how I said the doctors told me to lose weight and that maybe the weight was a factor?

After I lost the weight?

They told me maybe I lost the weight too fast (I didn't, I never lost more that 10lbs in a month) or that maybe I was sick because my body wasn't used to my new weight.

So, there you have it. I'm not sure if my inner cynic is to blame for this thought, but I can't help thinking the medical professionals have the accuracy of a magic 8 ball sometimes.

I've never had my breasts check for cancer over this (nothing weird until now). I had a mammogram back when I was about 32, I think. Nothing since. Lots of ultrasounds on my neck.

Forgot to say, the hematologist did a full body CT with contrast in early 2017 and the GP did a CT with contrast (neck only for the lymphadenopathy) earlier this year. All they saw we're swollen lymph nodes, but nothing malignant.

I really hate going to the doctor, though. I'm set up for Friday, but I feel like it's just going to be more of the same.

I would hope they wouldn't blow me off. But it's been a couple of years of feeling like docs are great at collecting co-pays and poking me with things but not really good at figuring out what's wrong. Not nice, I know, and I don't mean to be salty or adversarial, but it's so time consuming and expensive to run around to so many places. I feel like it took away from my kids, which I really resent.

I can only imagine how costly cancer is, so it had better not be that. I'm already working 2 jobs. I'm married, my husband works, but we have 4 kids right at the "and you thought the baby years were expensive" point of development (ages 8-18) We also don't have extended family so everything that happens really rests on my husband and I...and now he's older and to a lesser extent, our 18 year old. Dumb as it sounds, I'm more worried about the impact of me being sick financially and on the kid's needs. Anytime I'm down, it's a drag on the whole household.

mustlovepoodles, I'm sorry you'be had to go through all that. And the drunk dialing..always one in the bunch, right? Alternative family can be the best family. One of my best friends died earlier this year, shortly after my grandmother passed, and she was literally my rock during some difficult times. She was a cancer survivor several times over. We helped each other. My other best friend is in remission now for a couple of years. I've helped her through things and vice versa. That's to say nothing of the really wonderful people at church who go the extra mile for each other. Friends can be more family than family. Especially friends who are also church family. And I couldn't do without my kids. My oldest has always been a huge help.

My biggest concerns with testing, doctor appointments or being sick, are how it might impact my kids... especially the family finances. I don't want to put a dollar sign on existence, but I couldn't afford to get sick. Not that anyone can, really, but I know healthcare costs a mint.

It probably pales in comparison to what others have spent, but just the little bit of time and money chasing my tail these last 2 years with doctors. I feel like I'm forever going in for nothing, or at least nothing that produces a result I can do something about.

I really do fear being a hypochondriac as much as I fear appearing to be one. But, I'm still going in on Friday. I'd just like to figure something out. Even if it's a virus lingering or some other simple thing, I'd feel better to know the time/money figured it out than a constant game of shadow chasing

Thanks for listening

Lula73, Thank you. Yeah, I was surprised, too. But, with the bone marrow biopsy coming back fine and the immature granulocytes not being too high (high but not too high?) she little told me 1) I was overweight so maybe that was it 2) maybe it was my "new normal".

I will say, after losing weight, my white count did go back to normal, but around that same time I had normal labs the lymphadenopathy showed up and hasn't left. It's just there. The first one that showed up is small and kind of hard near the surface, the others are deeper in my neck but you can see them if I turn my head a bit. I've had some rashes there, but I have some issues with mild psoriasis and sensitive skin. So, that doesn't mean much.

I definitely want them to just figure it out. Very frustrating.

Lula73, Yes, I had trouble losing weight after my youngest was born. The lowest weight I'd been since then was 175lbs. Now, I don't think I could regain that weight. I was dieting, but I stopped doing anything a few months ago to lose weight or maintain, just out of curiosity, I even ate pretty shamefully for about a week and didn't see the scale budge. My normal metabolism used to be more like "look at donut = gain 10lbs". I mean, I'm at a healthy weight now, and I'm smaller now than I was in my mid-twenties, it's just weird. It doesn't hurt to move my neck, though.

Wonderland, I'm sorry to hear your friend had that diagnosis. For me, I'm pretty sure the hematologist covered that with the bone marrow biopsy. I think that test coming back ok is where she just kind of reached the point of just shrugging and saying "whatever's going on isn't leukemia or lymphoma".

I'm confused, myself. My old GP kept saying the lymph nodes were no big deal, but continued follow up appointments, referred me to an ENT, rheumatologist, planned to keep up with it on ultrasound. I never went to ENT. I haven't had a chance to and I wanted to switch GPs anyway. I just didn't feel like I was getting anywhere and the commute to that office was making it hard to schedule. I was ending up seeing the GP once a month or more for months... that's a lot of time/money for no result. I was honestly starting to feel scammed...and a bit stupid.

Well, I saw the doctor. She's new to me. First appointment and she was an hour late and spent about 10 minutes with me at most. She actually said she forgot to check my lymph nodes and kind of checked them at the check out desk as I was getting my orders. I'm not sure what to think. She seemed pretty dismissive, but she did say she saw the dent and felt a "non-discrete" mass. I don't think she heard half of what I said, nor did I get the impression that she cared. I felt even more stupid for going in and for changing doctors, because if this is how this office conducts itself... they're even worse than the last. They even forgot what I was coming in for and shuffled me around exam rooms prior to having me sit there for an hour.

The lymphadenopathy she said was probably normal. I don't know what to think. She gave me orders for a mammogram and ultrasound. That appointment is next Tuesday. The orders just say breast pain and nothing about the mass, too.

I did tell the mammogram place. I guess they're a "breast center" so that gives me a hope that they'd be pretty well aware of breast conditions--cancerous and otherwise.

It's a pretty big knot and easily seen when I lift my arms - if the discoloration wasn't a give away to something to check. Even if it's just fibrous, normal tissue, I think it would be hard to miss. But I did mention when scheduling, anyway.

I don't know if the doctors around are just all this goofy and disinterested/disorganized..or if I'm just really bad at picking. I checked reviews around and was hopeful this would be better. Having her check my lymph nodes at check out (and not in any way that could be called thoroughly) was next-level weird. I had the impression she was eager to catch up and sloppily running through patients to do so. Not a good sign. Also seemed a little immature.

Peregrinelady, I appreciate the input. I'm having a hard time persisting, because I did give up for a bit. Starting to feel like I'm nuts. I'm in a relatively large city. The problem here seems to be one of too many options rather than too few. Sure, there are lots of doctors and facilities, but which one is the one that will take the time to help? With so many people around, I think there is a tendency to focus on quantity over quality, because undoubtedly that's probably better for the bottom line. Maybe I'm very wrong. I don't know.

Honestly, I'd rather never set foot in an office again. But, I worry if it is something then I will have been very stupid to do that.

I'll definitely update and try not to think of it until I have to. Could be nothing. I'd feel safer in that knowledge if I trusted the people in charge, but I'll cross that bridge next week.