Meet others worried about developing breast cancer for the first time. PLEASE DO NOT POST PICTURES OF YOUR SYMPTOMS. Comparing notes, symptoms, or characteristics is not helpful here, as only medical professionals can accurately evaluate and assess your individual situation.
Posted on: Nov 9, 2019 12:06PM
Hi. My mom has breast cancer but we dont know what stage because she refuses to undergo biopsy nor any other treatments. Her breast mass in July measures 2.8 x 1.4 x 2.8 cm. As of her ultra sound today, it now measures 4.9 x 2.8 x 4.8. The radiologist also saw some GB stones in ultrasound.
Does any of you experience this and does this have any connection with her breast cancer?Log in to post a reply
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Posts 1 - 22 (22 total)
Nov 9, 2019 01:19PM Mavericksmom wrote:
Confusedgirl, I had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in 2003 and a year later my breast surgeon removed my gallbladder due to stones. One of the women who worked in her office had the same. Not sure if there is a link. I thought it was due to chemo, but clearly that isn't the case with your mother. I was also diagnosed with breast cancer again last December.
I am sure your mother has her reasons for not being treated, but why continue to see doctors and have testing if you aren't going to do anything? You can show her my response if you like, I am not going to mince words but doing nothing is like a death wish. Please know that her cancer will spread to her internal organs and will eventually break through her breast becoming open wounds! Death from untreated breast cancer will not be painless or quick! Her attitude is a slap in the face of all stage four women who are desperately trying to stay alive! Again, if she doesn’t want treatment, stop monitoring the cancer! That’s like looking out the window at a tornado heading straight for you and not moving away from it
If fear is what is keeping her from treatment, or money, lack of insurance, etc, than there IS help available! Ask for help! She, or you, can post on this message board or go through local agencies but help IS available!
I would have to ask the doctor who wrote her the script for the ultrasound, what the _____ did he think that was accomplishing?
Again, I don’t mean to be harsh and I respect a persons thoughtful choice, but that is not what your mother is doing. There is obviously more to this than a simple refusal of treatment.
Honestly, why care about gallstones? That is not a big deal, refusing treatment for cancer IS a big deal!
I wish you luck.
Nov 10, 2019 02:44AM AliceBastable wrote:
What Mavericksmom said. Your mother's bizarre behavior will kill her, plus ruin the lives of everyone who loves her.
Nov 10, 2019 03:34AM MinusTwo wrote:
How old is your Mother? Even more important, has anyone talked to her about what SHE wants? Maybe she's content with her life and willing to let go.
Nov 10, 2019 03:38AM Euphoriaa wrote:
How many years old is your mother? I understand that she may not want to receive chemotherapy or even rads, but at least a surgery ... I agree that an ulcerated tumor must be horrible. Convince her to have surgery! Good Luck
Nov 11, 2019 02:40AM flashlight wrote:
confusedgirl, I am so sorry your Mom is not strong enough to have a biopsy. As others have said the cancer will eat her flesh leaving open areas that will become necrotic and the drainage will be terrible. Not to mention the odor. Does she really want to go through that?
Nov 11, 2019 06:28AM MinusTwo wrote:
Confused - you never came back & answered any questions. Is the issue resolved? How old is your Mother? Did she ever state any preferences for medical treatment, DNR or Advice to Physicians?
I have made it clear to my son that in no case is he to continue or initiate care that I don't want. He knows I would come back & haunt him if he tried to convince me otherwise. If she doesn't want treatment, tell the doc you want to look into palliative care for the time being, leading to hospice. They will make her comfortable w/o any invasive treatment or testing.
Nov 11, 2019 05:46PM confusedgirl wrote:
My uncle died of lung cancer. He was fine but right after he had his biopsy, his health deteriorated very fast to the point that his body was not able to take chemo treatments. My mom witnessed everything and was constantly there to care for him. Because of this reason, she is traumatized and has the inclination that biopsy and chemo will lead her to the same fate.
We spoke to her and assured her so many times that her situation is different and that we will be there every step of the way to make sure she will be fine but she still refused to do it. We tried alternative medicine but is not working at all. She now have wound in her breast which bleeds from time to time.
This has been very difficult for me and the family but without her taking the nod, we just cannot do anything. Again, this is and will always be difficult for me so pls dont think that I, we do not want her to get well.
Nov 11, 2019 06:50PM MinusTwo wrote:
Confused - Difficult problems. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Nov 11, 2019 10:18PM MinusTwo wrote:
Yes, as you can see by my signature, I had a bilateral mastectomy. Then a recurrence and chemo, a node dissection surgery, more chemo, radiation and Herceptin for a year. That's why I keep asking how old is your Mom????
I started the first treatment at 67. If I should have another recurrence or mets, it's not likely that I'll pursue aggressive treatment again.
Nov 12, 2019 10:04PM flashlight wrote:
My Dad died of lung cancer too. I know he knew something was wrong, but he didn't seek treatment soon enough. He had driven 500 miles to see me and was diagnosed 2 weeks after that. He died in 1990. They have made a lot of advancements in treatment since then. I'm sure your uncle wasn't feeling that well before he was diagnosed. Unfortunately, your Mom has made up her mind not to have anything done. She is young and might still have hope for a future with treatment. It sounds like her doctor has talked to her as well. So she knows time is not on her side and she has accepted this. All you can do is support her.
Nov 12, 2019 10:39PM Mavericksmom wrote:
Confusedgirl, your mom is WAY too young to die willingly, but you are right, you can't make her do anything to save her life.
Just a thought, why not approach it from the other “side?" Try asking her if she has everything in order, what her preferences are for her death, etc. viewing, burial, cremation? She should get a power of attorney if she hasn't done so yet and fill out a living will so when she goes to the hospital she can decide not to be resuscitated. If she gets upset, perhaps reality is what she needs! If not, knowing her wishes prior to death is a huge benefit for those left behind.
She has options, Maybe seeing a social worker, a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Being traumatized is not a good enough reason to harm herself and that is what she is doing! My sister had breast cancer and lymphoma at the same time! She fought like hell, but ended up with a third cancer caused by her treatments, MDS, and it killed her. Less than 1% of cancer patients get MDS, but she was the unlucky one. I can only wish she had the opportunity to save herself like your mom has.
I had breast cancer twice and I never once felt I would end up like my sister, but if I ever do, at least my family will know I did everything I could to live! I know first hand how hard it is to see someone you love die of cancer!
Don't give up or give in! I think she is so afraid, perhaps she thinks she should have died and not your uncle? I know I wouldn't stop putting pressure on my mom if she had been in that situation. By the way, my mom had breast cancer too, also another sister!
Like I said, if she really wants to die, than at least she should get her wishes in order.
Is your father alive and with her? I get the feeling he is not?
Nov 13, 2019 03:08AM - edited Nov 13, 2019 05:37AM by AliceBastable
Wow, 56 is SO young! I've had three major and one minor cancers. I had two aunts who died of breast cancer and an uncle who died of liver cancer. I'm sorry they suffered, but my reaction to what they endured was that, when I got cancer(s), I owed it to their memories to do everything I could to survive. I'm pushing 70 and can't imagine thinking that way.
Dec 14, 2019 02:34PM confusedgirl wrote:
My mom finally is agreeing to undergo treatment. The doctor told my sister that since the tumor is a bit bigger, she will need to undergo chemo first then surgery.
Could you let me know what are the side effects you had during chemo? She is a bit weak at the moment and I am afraid that she may feel so many bad side effects...
I want to learn from your experiences so we can be prepared on handling the situation and caring for he
Dec 14, 2019 04:36PM ElaineTherese wrote:
What kind of chemo is she getting? Side effects are different for everyone but some chemos are associated with specific side effects. For example, Taxotere and its gentler cousin Taxol are associated with gastrointestinal issues (e.g., diarrhea).
Dec 14, 2019 06:15PM ElaineTherese wrote:
OK. Well, you might want to talk to her doctor about gentler treatment plans like Taxol. Not that everyone thrives on Taxol, but it's supposed to be less harsh than, say, Adriamycin + Cytoxin or Taxotere + Carboplatin.
Dec 14, 2019 06:21PM MinusTwo wrote:
Confused - Elaine is correct. Each chemo has different side effects. Once you know the proposed treatment, you can research each drug on this site. If she is HER2+, the standard treatment is usually chemo first.
Where does your Mother live? Different countries might have different protocols. If she is still refusing any treatment or biopsy as your initial post stated, how will the docs decide on which chemo? And has your mother approved?
Dec 15, 2019 05:50AM MinusTwo wrote:
OK - Have they done the biopsy? What were the results?
Please let us know what the doctor is recommending for a treatment plan. If she is HER2+, she may have chemo before surgery (neoadjuvant).
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