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Topic: Anxiety is up and I need to chat

Forum: Not Diagnosed But Worried —

Meet others worried about developing breast cancer for the first time. PLEASE DO NOT POST PICTURES OF YOUR SYMPTOMS. Comparing notes, symptoms, or characteristics is not helpful here, as only medical professionals can accurately evaluate and assess your individual situation.

Posted on: Dec 6, 2019 08:05PM

hray1993 wrote:

I'm scared and need to talk to people who can understand. I don't think many people saw my other post but I'm 26 and waiting to get a biopsy to see if I have breast cancer. I found a lump on the 23 of November and went to the gynecologist about it. He sent me for an ultrasound and I ended up getting a mammogram. It was a BI-RADS 4b. I have an appointment at the breast center with a breast surgeon on Friday the 13th to talk about doing an excisional biopsy. I also did my yearly exam while I had the lump checked. My pap has came back abnormal the past two times with abnormal cell growth. We did a biopsy on it last dec and it came back CIN 2 low grade. He said since I'm over 25 it's considered high grade now, so CIN 2 high grade. I have to have a leep procedure the end of dec to get it taken care of. From what I've read when it turns into CIN 3 then it's considered cancerous. Right now it's just pre cancerous. I know I'm getting it taken care of and that's good and I'm getting the lump taken care of so that's good I'm just really overwhelmed with possibly having cancer in my breast and my cervix at the same time. I know neither is cancer yet but I have bad anxiety and I'm just so overwhelmed with the thought of cancer floating around in my body in multiple places. I feel like I can't talk to Anyone about it. My family keeps saying everything is going to be benign and it will all be okay and I know it will be okay but I just feel so alone in mentally and emotionally dealing with all this. I know my mind is making things more serious than they may be but I'm just overwhelmed and need to talk to people who can understand and let me talk about it without telling me to stop talking about it. Thank you everyone for listening.

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 6, 2019 08:28PM bcincolorado wrote:

Hello,

I know you are scared and very young to be dealing with this and not surprised at all that you are scared. I know your family is trying to calm your fears and yes, at the beginning all of our fears can take over and it all very overwhelming and most of us have been there already.

It sounds like you do not have a family member you can get support from. I am sure part of the issue with close family is that they do not want to think it is something serious because they love you and care about you. They often live in denial until they have no choice but accept what is going on with you. Do you have a close friend who can help support you through your testing? Sometimes it helps to have another person to listen and get the same information because it is information overload at first too and easy to forget a few things.

My local breast center had a nurse navigator too who was a great help to us. I was given a huge book full of information (where I learned of this site actually) and covered all aspects of treatment and stages and therapy afterwards. If no one has mentioned that to you yet, you may want to ask the question at least. This site has a ton of information which I imagine you have read through at this point too and easy to find.

The people on these boards are usually nice and helpful and you and send a personal message to someone and ask questions as well. Please here will definitely understand your fears and worries. There is a forum I think for young people as well. You already have been through a lot.

I hope you have caught this early and will get through this and be able to help others as well.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Dec 6, 2019 08:46PM hray1993 wrote:

Thank you for replying. Yes it's very overwhelming. You are right about my family living in denial about it. They do care and I know if it does turn out to be cancer they will be there for me but right now not so much lol. I do have a close friend I work with that is helping me through this. She has bad anxiety too so she understands my need to talk about every possibility. If it wasn't for her I would have gone crazy by now. This is just taking soooo long. I found the lump on Nov 23 and my biopsy consultation isn't until the 13th. So it's been a waiting in the not knowing. Especially with it being BI RADS 4b I feel like that's kind of middle ground. Like they are saying maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We don't know. So that doesn't help much. At least if it would have been 4a or 4c it would help me lean one way or the other. Ive been handling it pretty well I think but hearing about my pap results today but kind of did me in. I don't know why because I had already talked with my doctor and knew the leep procedure was 98 percent probably going to happen. I knew it was going to come back abnormal. I knew all that and was ready for it but then it sunk in like hey you May have cancer in two parts of your body if you don't get this taken care of and I think that thought just has me not knowing what to think. I've talked all the logic into myself I can but I just can't control my anxiety right now, my anxiety medicine isn't helping much today so I know that's all it is but I'm so glad to have everyone here to talk to and be able to research as much as I can. My family hates when I research it all because that means I'm thinking about it but I'm thinking about it anyways so researching calms my mind so much.

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 6, 2019 08:48PM hray1993 wrote:

I am happy about the fact that I’m being very open with people I know about what’s going on with me and since talking about it, I’ve had a 50 year old woman who had never had a mammogram schedule one for herself. And I’ve had many of my friends my age learn the importance of self breast exams. I’m happy I can do that to help others

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 6, 2019 09:08PM Yogatyme wrote:

You are dealing with a lot and of course you’re scared witless. Trying to distract yourself can help (but honestly I was not that good at it during the waiting game). I did take breaks every day to watch funny YouTube videos and that did help at least in the moment. I think families discount our anxiety to keep their own at bay. It’s so so scary. However, that doesn’t help you one bit. Keep reading threads and posting. Everyone here gets where you’re at and will not tell you to not worry.....we know that’s like telling you to not breathe. Speaking of breathing, try to do some slow, deep breathing throughout the day. Hang tight and keep us in the loop.

Yogatyme Surgery 3/3/2019 Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 7/19/2019, IDC: Papillary, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/13/2019 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Dec 6, 2019 09:12PM hray1993 wrote:

Thank you. Reading on here helps so much. I’m so glad I found this site. I try to remind myself to breathe and tell myself that it’s just my anxiety making me so overwhelmed, because whatever happens, there will be a plan to fix it. I’m a planner. I thrive on having a plan. The unknown is what terrifies me. I think I’ll feel better once I have answers and a plan to fix it

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 6, 2019 09:19PM MinusTwo wrote:

hray - when you start questioning, go back to djmammo's thread and read his comprehensive answers to your reports. In the mean time - binge watch TV, get outside, exercise & keep moving, get involved in a baking project - anything that can take your mind away. As you know - don't google. Although your biopsy is in a week, you may not have the answers for another week after that, so find something that will keep your mind occupied. Good luck on the 13th.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Dec 6, 2019 09:29PM hray1993 wrote:

I actually screenshot his response and do read it often. It really does help. Especially when the radiologist just said it’s either cancer or an adenoma. He made it seem like it could only be one of those so reading djmammos response helps me remember it could be a couple different things. I’m a cake decorator at work so that helps keep my mind off of it while I’m workin

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 6, 2019 09:56PM MelissaDallas wrote:

He actually said most likely things at your age would be a fibroadenoma or a phyllodes tumor. FAs are benign, as are most phyllodestumors.

LCIS, extensive sclerosing adenosis, TAH/BSO & partial omentectomy for mucinous borderline ovarian tumor.
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Dec 6, 2019 10:10PM hray1993 wrote:

I’m talking about the original radiologist that read my scans at the diagnostic center. He told me it was either cancer or an adenoma. I know djmammo said it could be giant Fibroadenoma or phyllodes tumor and that makes me feel much better. I was referring to the original radiologist that I spoke with about my scans and what his opinion was

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 16, 2019 02:19PM hray1993 wrote:

For anyone wondering, I had my biopsy today. They also found a large underarm lymph node so did a biopsy on it as well. Does this mean it could have spread? Or could an enlarged lymph node be from something else? I’m not sick so it’s not that. I haven’t had any surgeries to the area so it’s not from that. They did the biopsy of the large lymph node under my arm and a biopsy of the actual Mass in my breast that started all this. They said 3 to 4 business days for results but a lot of people have told me 2 to 3 days. How long didn’t your biopsy results tak

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 16, 2019 04:44PM MinusTwo wrote:

hray - My biopsy results always took 5 business days. However, now it's less than 10 days to Christmas. Many offices are closing entirely the end of this week and lots of people have taken vacation. I'd be surprised if you got your results if 3-4 days, or in other words even this week. You haven't said where you are, but prompt results may depend on the size & dedication of the facility &/or the size of the city. Back to previous posts - go do something fun & frivolous. Keeping you in our thoughts. Please let us know when you hear.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Dec 16, 2019 10:14PM hray1993 wrote:

thank you. The breast center in a major medical hospital in my area has a whole building just for breast cancer. She said they do all biopsy reviews/pathology in the same building so hopefully since it doesn’t have to get sent off somewhere it won’t be too long

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 17, 2019 07:57AM MissouriCatLady wrote:

Hray, keeping you in my prayers. The waiting is very difficult. Sending you big hugs. Lisa

diagnosed at 55, DX 10/17/18 IDC Left IIB grade 3 0/2 nodes ER+PR-HER2+, 11/7/18 TCHP, 4/4/19 Left Lumpectomy, 4/29/19 anastrozole (name-brand at CVS with a GoodRX coupon), 6/3/19 Rads, HP done 1/8/20, complete response to neoadjuvant therapy
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Dec 17, 2019 02:03PM hray1993 wrote:

thank you so much Lisa!

Has anyone had enlarged lymph nodes along with a mass and it not be cancer? I’m preparing for the worst. Just curious if anyone knows of anyone where it’s all been benign. I’m not sick and I haven’t had any previous surgeries to the area so I know those aren’t the cause of the enlarged lymph node

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 17, 2019 04:44PM MissouriCatLady wrote:

I wish I knew something to tell you, I don't know.

It's scary, and not everything you read on the internet is helpful (or true, sometimes). Breathe deep and know that whatever this is - you are going to get through this. It may not be something serious, you don't know yet. But, we have good doctors - sounds like you're going to a good place, and we have drugs our parents did not have, so breathe deep and get your wits together. Know one thing, you are not alone. Hugs, Lisa

diagnosed at 55, DX 10/17/18 IDC Left IIB grade 3 0/2 nodes ER+PR-HER2+, 11/7/18 TCHP, 4/4/19 Left Lumpectomy, 4/29/19 anastrozole (name-brand at CVS with a GoodRX coupon), 6/3/19 Rads, HP done 1/8/20, complete response to neoadjuvant therapy
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Dec 17, 2019 06:26PM hray1993 wrote:

you are so sweet Lisa! I think I’ll be okay even if it’s bad news I’m ready to fight it It’s just worse not knowing. I’m hoping I get results tomorrow.

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 17, 2019 07:29PM MelissaDallas wrote:

Yes, I had both breast and enlarged lymph node biopsied at once and both were benign.

LCIS, extensive sclerosing adenosis, TAH/BSO & partial omentectomy for mucinous borderline ovarian tumor.
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Dec 17, 2019 07:38PM hray1993 wrote:

Melissa, that is so awesome!!! Did they say what the lump ended up being and what the cause of the enlarged lymph nodes were

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 18, 2019 04:54AM MelissaDallas wrote:

Breast was complex cyst. Lymph node was just normal lymph node. Nodes swell for all kinds of reasons. Most of them not cancer. She told me before she biopsied the node that she would be very surprised if it amounted to anything and it fidn’t

LCIS, extensive sclerosing adenosis, TAH/BSO & partial omentectomy for mucinous borderline ovarian tumor.
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Dec 18, 2019 07:17AM hray1993 wrote:

that makes me feel much better. What did they do about the complex cyst? I want this mass taken out regardless if it’s benign or not

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 26, 2019 01:09PM MissouriCatLady wrote:

Have you heard any more, hray?

diagnosed at 55, DX 10/17/18 IDC Left IIB grade 3 0/2 nodes ER+PR-HER2+, 11/7/18 TCHP, 4/4/19 Left Lumpectomy, 4/29/19 anastrozole (name-brand at CVS with a GoodRX coupon), 6/3/19 Rads, HP done 1/8/20, complete response to neoadjuvant therapy
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Dec 26, 2019 02:48PM hray1993 wrote:

Missouri Cat Lady, yes ma’am I have. It’s cancer. Invasive ductal carcinoma. Tumor is 3.4cm. It’s grade 3 and it’s triple negative. Not sure on stage yet. I won’t know that till I go to my breast care team consultation on Jan

Dx 12/19/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 26, 2019 03:06PM MissouriCatLady wrote:

I'm looking at other posts now, hray, should have tried to read up on things, you are a young lady. I'm sorry. We both have IDC and I am grade 3, but HER2 positive and 56 years old. Keep an eye out on the triple positive group board, it just isn't triple positive, it is very active, if you have questions. SpecialK and Coach Vicky post on there and are very helpful. I work with 2 other girls that have had BC, one had a double mastectomy and the red devil. I saw you had mentioned red devil. Sending you a big hug, sounds like you are reaching out on this website, and that is the best thing you can do! We are here for you. Lisa

diagnosed at 55, DX 10/17/18 IDC Left IIB grade 3 0/2 nodes ER+PR-HER2+, 11/7/18 TCHP, 4/4/19 Left Lumpectomy, 4/29/19 anastrozole (name-brand at CVS with a GoodRX coupon), 6/3/19 Rads, HP done 1/8/20, complete response to neoadjuvant therapy
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Dec 26, 2019 04:08PM MinusTwo wrote:

Missouri - I believe from hray's other threads that she's essentially diagnosed as triple NEGATIVE so far. But there are plenty of threads for that too.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Dec 26, 2019 04:29PM MissouriCatLady wrote:

Yes, I did read that, thank you. I just know the triple positive board was very helpful to me, thank you! Best wishes, Lisa

diagnosed at 55, DX 10/17/18 IDC Left IIB grade 3 0/2 nodes ER+PR-HER2+, 11/7/18 TCHP, 4/4/19 Left Lumpectomy, 4/29/19 anastrozole (name-brand at CVS with a GoodRX coupon), 6/3/19 Rads, HP done 1/8/20, complete response to neoadjuvant therapy

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