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Jan 14, 2022 09:12PM
There's a lot of people on this forum. Some are the patients, some are significant others, some are family, some may just be friends. but the one thing most people have in common when dealing with a stressful situation, is anxiety. When I wrote the original post, my mind was going through dark places due to intrusive thoughts. scenarios where I didn't have my wife, raising 2 kids on my own etc. And I just wanted to vent, maybe hear some kind words like Dres, TB90, ThreeTree and many more have offered.
I told my part of my story about what was going on, and I used the term "we" because I'm there too, now I'm well aware that IM not the one getting an ultrasound, IM not one with the potential situation going on, obviously. IM just the one driving her to the clinic, IM the one staying awake doing copious amounts of research while she sleeps, IM the one trying to be the support. That being said... that is how i choose to use the word "we" because WE are going through this together, so even though SHES the one getting the ultrasound, I feel like I'm getting it too, because im just as anxious (if not more) for the results.
Lets say it is Mr. C.. if shes struggling with whatever it may be.. chemo, surgery, etc, shes the one going through the physical and mental toll of it, However, ill be there too, struggling with frustration of not being able to take it away, to make it better, feeling like I should have or could have done more. As MountainMia said - We are going through 2 different things. They both suck. and being in a relationship means being there for each other no matter what. Shes the one with the potential issue, but she saw that i was anxiety ridden and got me a book.... about anxiety to try and help. In return, I do anything and everything I can to just chill out and be there for her and take things off her plate like dinner, cleaning the house, getting the kids ready for school. Teamwork (WE / US)
Anyways, regardless of the difference of OPINIONs, i dont mean to offend, but as Dres and Serendipity have said, this does not create a welcoming environment for a first timer. No one comes on this forum with the intention to offend. (At least i didnt) by using the wrong pronoun.
This is a great place, and being empathic is what keeps people coming back. Lets just all be nice.
I appreciate all the feedback and comments, and on Tuesday I will update you all again, with hopefully, good news.