Topic: Anxious hubby looking for some advice/reassurance

Forum: Not Diagnosed But Worried — For those who are experiencing symptoms or received concerning test results, but haven't been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Posted on: Jan 13, 2022 05:10AM

Posted on: Jan 13, 2022 05:10AM

Anxioushubby123 wrote:

hello all, hope you are doing well.


so about 2 weeks back, my wife who is 28 and has no family history of cancer began to show changes in her right breast only. Her breast were tender and a long dent started to form. From the top of the breast towards her nipple. We immediately made an appt for her GP, and after visiting, the doctor told her she had some lumps under her breast. He gave her an appt to do an ultrasound.

Fast forward to today, we did the ultrasound, and the doctor was perplexed. He could feel the lumps and see the dent but nothing showed up on the ultrasound. No cysts, no masses, nothing.

Afterwards, we went to go see the breast specialist, he reviewed the ultrasound and said he was a bit concerned about the “fat placement” in the breast. After visibly inspecting and feeling the area, he decided that we should do an MRI. He did rule out, in his medical opinion, IBC which is a relief. Moreover he mentioned there was no swelling in the lymph nodes. He did also say that breast cancer is rare for someone in their late 20s, but without the MRI, if there was cancer, he couldn’t tell if it could be stage 1-3.

honestly, my wife is so strong and positive. But I’m such a negative anxious pessimistic person and I’m weighing her down, I’m panicking and I’m trying my best to not talk about it, google it, or show any negative emotions around her. So I found this forum! Thankfully. I’m just here to vent and see if I can get some opinions or just positive words on our situation.


thank you for taking the time to read this! Our MRI is in a week, so I’ll update when the time comes

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Jan 14, 2022 07:48PM tb90 wrote:

Wrenn, I am not enraged. I am sad and shocked. Please ask me how I feel. Do not tell me. The world is shocking to me. I am supporting a community with members dying from Covid due to being unvaccinated. I try not to judge their decision. They are indigenous and their beliefs differ. I am accepting that. I am ensuring every service possible. Fighting over “we” and not being there for anxious people is astonishing to me. And your patronizing attitude is what is puzzling.

Dx 11/28/2013, DCIS, Grade 2 Surgery 12/17/2013 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Radiation Therapy 2/19/2014 Breast
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Jan 14, 2022 08:12PM Anxioushubby123 wrote:

Hi everyone.

There's a lot of people on this forum. Some are the patients, some are significant others, some are family, some may just be friends. but the one thing most people have in common when dealing with a stressful situation, is anxiety. When I wrote the original post, my mind was going through dark places due to intrusive thoughts. scenarios where I didn't have my wife, raising 2 kids on my own etc. And I just wanted to vent, maybe hear some kind words like Dres, TB90, ThreeTree and many more have offered.

I told my part of my story about what was going on, and I used the term "we" because I'm there too, now I'm well aware that IM not the one getting an ultrasound, IM not one with the potential situation going on, obviously. IM just the one driving her to the clinic, IM the one staying awake doing copious amounts of research while she sleeps, IM the one trying to be the support. That being said... that is how i choose to use the word "we" because WE are going through this together, so even though SHES the one getting the ultrasound, I feel like I'm getting it too, because im just as anxious (if not more) for the results.

Lets say it is Mr. C.. if shes struggling with whatever it may be.. chemo, surgery, etc, shes the one going through the physical and mental toll of it, However, ill be there too, struggling with frustration of not being able to take it away, to make it better, feeling like I should have or could have done more. As MountainMia said - We are going through 2 different things. They both suck. and being in a relationship means being there for each other no matter what. Shes the one with the potential issue, but she saw that i was anxiety ridden and got me a book.... about anxiety to try and help. In return, I do anything and everything I can to just chill out and be there for her and take things off her plate like dinner, cleaning the house, getting the kids ready for school. Teamwork (WE / US)

Anyways, regardless of the difference of OPINIONs, i dont mean to offend, but as Dres and Serendipity have said, this does not create a welcoming environment for a first timer. No one comes on this forum with the intention to offend. (At least i didnt) by using the wrong pronoun.

This is a great place, and being empathic is what keeps people coming back. Lets just all be nice.

I appreciate all the feedback and comments, and on Tuesday I will update you all again, with hopefully, good news.

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Jan 14, 2022 08:20PM tb90 wrote:

Thankyou Anxious Hubby. I am so sorry for carrying this on way beyond what I felt I should. I felt professionally that I had to make a point. Please reach out to some of us privately. You had only the best of intentions for you and your partner. I really believe all will be well for you and her. If this is any consolation, I believe your thread may make changes happen here in BCO. I give you my word that I will not let this go. I am here for you and your partner.

Dx 11/28/2013, DCIS, Grade 2 Surgery 12/17/2013 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Radiation Therapy 2/19/2014 Breast
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Jan 14, 2022 08:20PM - edited Jan 14, 2022 08:23PM by sunshine99

Hubby, I'm glad you are here and are sharing your thoughts and fears. Yes, it is the two you who are facing whatever comes. You will face it together and will support each other. Thank for sharing your thoughts and for keeping us updated on your wife's situation. I'll add this thread to my "Favorites" so that I don't miss anything.

Wishing you both the very best,

Carol

My next post was deleted because it was a duplicate. (I always wonder why someone deletes their post.)

my-sunny-side-up.com Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External Local Metastases 5/5/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External Local Metastases 5/12/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 14, 2022 08:22PM - edited Jan 14, 2022 08:22PM by sunshine99

This Post was deleted by sunshine99.
my-sunny-side-up.com Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External Local Metastases 5/5/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External Local Metastases 5/12/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 14, 2022 08:27PM threetree wrote:

Thank you, Anxioushubby, and best of luck to both you and your wife with the MRI. Please keep us posted!

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Jan 14, 2022 09:45PM serendipity09 wrote:

Anxioushubby - wishing nothing but the best positive outcome for your wife and peace of mind for you both. Please keep us posted.

"You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore, before you decide to be happy" - Nightbirde
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Jan 15, 2022 10:47AM - edited Jan 15, 2022 10:48AM by kbl

Anxioushubby, I couldn't have said what you said better myself. I'm so glad you're here, and we are here for you as well. If, by chance, she is diagnosed with cancer, there is a caregiver support Zoom meetup that you might be interested in so you don't feel alone. I am hoping that things are benign and you don't have to join. Big hugs to you and your wife.

De Novo ILC - No primary found. Mets to full spine, femurs, skull, and stomach. Dx 5/1/2019, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/20/2021 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 9/27/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 17, 2022 06:08PM tb90 wrote:

Anxioushubby: Thinking of you and your partner for the MRI. In my thoughts.

Dx 11/28/2013, DCIS, Grade 2 Surgery 12/17/2013 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Radiation Therapy 2/19/2014 Breast
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Jan 17, 2022 07:29PM Anxioushubby123 wrote:

hey there TB90, thank you so much so keeping us in your thoughts. Her appt is in the afternoon and then we go see the oncologist to go over the results. Not going to lie, the anxiety really kicked in today. We both are eager to just get tomorrow over with.

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