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All TopicsForum: Growing Our Friendships After Treatment → Topic: CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.

Topic: CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.

Forum: Growing Our Friendships After Treatment —

For those who have met on Breastcancer.org and want to continue growing their cybersibling friendships beyond cancer.

Posted on: Jul 18, 2015 08:14PM - edited Feb 21, 2016 12:31AM by SlowDeepBreaths

SlowDeepBreaths wrote:

I'm hoping there isn't another thread like this. I did a search and saw one for stage 4, but nothing for everyone else. My very special friend on BCO (Tomboy), and I have talked about a Crazy Town thread for awhile now. I know she will be happy I finally took the bull by the horns!!

I wrote a little story about visiting Crazy Town last year on my blog, and I received some lovely emails from women all over the world talking about how terrifying those feelings can become. I thought I would share that story with my BCO sisters. I know many of you can relate to the craziness of worrying about recurrence or progression. I think my experience epitomizes the crazy place our minds can go. I've found when I can laugh at myself, I always feel better.

"My master bath has its own little room for the toilet. The sink, shower and tub are all in the same room. At night when I have to use the bathroom, I always turn on the closet light which is right next to my sink. This way I don't have to turn on all the lights above the sink. They are very bright and there are a lot of them. I do this so the brightness doesn't wake up my DH. Being the OCD person I am, I always wash my hands after using the restroom – even in the middle of the night.

One night last week, I was doing my usual ritual and I caught a glimpse of a big blackish/brown mark on the upper left side of my chest.This thing was huge. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest when I caught a glimpse of it. I'm sure many of you will know what I'm talking about - that feeling of dread.I ran my fingers over it and it felt raised. I couldn't imagine what it could be – it was SO big. I thought, "Oh great, here we go again, now I've got skin cancer." Then I decided to risk waking DH up by turning on the millions of lights above the sink. Then I got a closer look. UNBELIEVABLE!!……it was a piece of chocolate from a cookie I had eaten earlier!!!!! Apparently it had melted into my chest and I went to bed that way. Can you imagine?? Now if that doesn't give you a good laugh, I don't know what will. CRAZY TOWN!!!"

I have many stories since diagnosis. I call it going to Crazy Town. Some of them are funny, others not so much. I usually go there in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping, and my mind wanders. There are no trains, planes or busses out of Crazy Town in the middle of the night. I also go there at times when I'm waiting on test results. I hope we can all share our Crazy Town stories. Talking about it has helped me to stay on the outskirts of the town. I've been really good about not visiting lately, but this week it's been a real challenge.

If you have tests coming up, or you just have a day where you're worried more than usual, or if you just want to hang out and chat, please stop in to visit. It is my hope we can have some fun here and get each other through on difficult days with humor, kindness and hugs!!

Much love to all,

Beppy ツ

P.S. If you've just been diagnosed, I strongly suggest starting a blog. Whether it be just for yourself, or you'd like to share it with others. It's been a good outlet to get my feelings out as well as a wonderful timeline to refer back to when needed.



Great info about breast cancer and PTSD:

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/cancer-treatment-leaves-survivors-with-ptsd-scars-031215#3


Dx 4/2016, TN mets to lung. VATS left upper lobe wedge resection. "Fall seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (FISH)
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Posts 13951 - 13964 (13,964 total)

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May 12, 2018 06:50PM ChiSandy wrote:

I don't get scanxiety as much as I do lab-xiety (glucose and CBC, espec. H&H and ferritin), but major-league...scale-xiety. (I dread the lectures).

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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May 14, 2018 04:07PM - edited May 14, 2018 04:08PM by Lucy55

We ended up with a fun Mother's Day weekend ...Went to my son's house Saturday for early celebration ..as they couldn't make the big family one by the water Sunday ...I'm SURE I ate too much though 😯

Sandy ..yep ..I have lab - xiety too ...because my BS checks the tiumour markers as well as the CBC etc !!!

Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2014
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May 15, 2018 02:36AM ChiSandy wrote:

My MO doesn't do tumor markers on asymptomatic stage I or II patients--she says that they're not really predictive.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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May 15, 2018 09:34AM proudtospin wrote:

i had my visit with pcd a week ago, she likes to do a fasting blood workup, i take statin so she is checing stuff. Shock this time, my cholesterol was 185 which is the lowest i can remember. Wonder if my new blood thinner is helping to lower the cholesterol? Not complaining although i stubbed my toe the other day and wwas shocked by how much my toe bled!

Me, i am current nervous about all tests!

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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May 15, 2018 08:29PM ChiSandy wrote:

185 is wonderful--the statin is definitely working! (Especially if much of that 185 is due to high HDL). I'm not aware of a connection between blood thinners & lipid profile, but you never know. However, (mostly-)clean eating and exercising (as, IIRC, you said you were resuming) are probably more responsible for that great blood lipid score.

Have to wait another 2 weeks to see the hand surgeon--he & his wife just had their third baby, and he's on diaper duty till the 30th. So no PT/OT just yet--just the usual mild painkillers, gels, moist heat, ice, elevation and night splint-bracing till I see him again. (The heat is for before I practice guitar or dulcimer and the ice for after--though he'd rather I not play; I have gigs again every weekend in June, and I have to rehearse for a couple of them, so "no guitar" ain't gonna happen). Last night I couldn't sleep because my forearm was burning all the way to the elbow, so I had to pop a Lyrica--which made it tough to get up. (I have really entertaining dreams when I sleep, and the down pillows & comforter feel so good; Lyrica makes sleep feel wonderful--especially during the brief awakenings to turn over and clear my sinuses, knowing I'm getting good sleep and I have time for more of it).

Thurs. morning I have to go all the way up to Lake Bluff to see my derm. (She keeps moving offices w/in the NorthShore system, but I'd follow her anywhere). It's my semiannual skin-mapping appt., which became necessary after she had to remove and biopsy a couple of small moles, one of which was suspicious for melanoma (it was just "highly atypical" but I got MRSA in the wound from the punch biopsy--probably from a colony on my skin).

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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May 16, 2018 10:24AM octogirl wrote:

I have an appointment with my derm week after next....this is a yearly checkup, the last time they did remove one mole and biopsied another. (it was benign). Hopefully all will turn out well this time around.

So, I couldn't sleep last night, and realized that there is a lot of stress and uncertainty in my life right now, and yes, it is making me crazy! First off, hubby, who has been unsure of his retirement date, finally decided and just filed his paperwork to retire August 1st. I am happy for him, but it does mean lots to do! As I think I've mentioned before, we have already bought our retirement home (in Reno, Nevada) but it is now time to get serious about moving and selling our current home in California. I am particularly anxious to get it done quickly because my personal take on the market in my town is that it is a seller's market (very low vacancy rates even though here in the great Central Valley housing prices are not ridiculous the way they are in SF or LA) BUT that the market is very volatile and could turn for the worse any day now...So, we want to get out while the getting is good!

But, so much to do: the new place is a bit less than half the size of the old place (we are going from about 2800 sq ft to 1300) so we need to get rid of a lot of stuff: including boxes still packed and stored in the garage from our last move nine years ago!

and, of course, life throws curve balls just when things appear to be on one path: my dream job came along, in another state, nowhere near here or near Reno, and I decided to apply., sort of on a whim. A phone interview Monday went very well (I think) and I anticipate that they will probably want to fly me out for an in-person interview the end of the month or in early June. So, I am struggling with the question as to whether I really want to stay retired, or not. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on whether I really want the job or not), the job is located in an area that hubby loves and has always dreamed of living in (but that we didn't consider for retirement because we knew no one there and wanted to be near family, as we would be in Reno)....and of course having income again in addition to my pension and the small amount of income I have from the consulting I am still doing would be nice...but there would go my plans to spend more time traveling, being with my grandkids (of course the job is no where near them), and having more time to volunteer for some good causes (mostly political given the state of the world and the country and the upcoming midterms).

and BC does play a role: should I go back to work doing something that I think I would love, or should I spend time doing the things I want to do more of?...for me, part of the answer depends on how long I am likely to stay healthy, and who the hell knows the answer to that one?

So, that's my news. I am packing up a house to sell, but am not sure where I will end up next! I only know with any certainty that it is highly unlikely I will stay in the Golden State. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but stress doesn't have to be from bad events to be stressful. Stay tuned!

Sending hugs to all;

Octogirl


Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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May 16, 2018 11:36AM proudtospin wrote:

Octo.....wow you do have some serious choices to make, best of luck in your decision and it sounds to me that all are good.

Sandy, gonna talk to my onco about the new cholesterol number even though she was not the one who did it. Maybe my chemo med is affecting my cholesterol? I have battled high cholesterol for so long...just shocking! In a good way

Went to gym this morn, my pal Mike came over and send he had heard from another pal whose wife has uterine cancer, she has been transfered to hospice. I knew she had cancer but had not heard and status and this pal has had enough tough things

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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May 16, 2018 09:45PM ChiSandy wrote:

Sorry to hear about Mike's friend's wife, Iris. Some people can never seem to catch a break. Wouldn't be surprised if your chemo med was affecting your cholesterol, one way or the other. I know AIs can raise both blood sugar and blood lipids. Everything seems to be connected the older we get.

Definitely in non-health-related CrazyTown today. First, our garage door opener was malfunctioning (the remotes could only open, not close the door; and to open & close the door from inside we had to keep the button on the wall pressed until the door was fully up or down). Got some bids late last night, one of which promised a callback at 10 am to set up an appt.. Well, the phone rang--from another bidder--at 8 am (and I'd gotten to bed at 4:30 am), who said he'd be here between 4 & 5. (The first guy never called). That became between 5 & 6. He got here about 6:45. Fortunately, as I suspected, it was just a misaligned sensor...the one Bob admitted he'd grazed last week backing out of the garage. I didn't want to do the alignment myself, as I had no way to verify it was positioned properly and I feared breaking wires or shorting something out (and the sensors were way down near the floor--not good for my knees or back). So I'm out $75 for the service call, but at least I didn't need to buy new remotes.

Then, one of my range hood replacement halogen bulbs arrived from Amazon. I've been cooking without hood lights for almost 2 yrs and was getting really fed up. (The knob for the light switch also cracked and fell off--a replacement for that is on its way). I watched some YouTube tutorials on how to remove the old bulb and install the new one. So I tried. Easy enough to remove the old one, but trying to get the new one properly seated and then in securely was driving me nuts. (Needed a mirror & flashlight--every time I leaned over the stove to try and see, my belly & boobs kept hitting the electronic keypad for the oven). It would seemingly click in and turn on, but kept falling out. I finally had to use rubber gloves to get enough purchase on it to turn it sufficiently to lock it in. The other bulb arrives tomorrow.

Housekeeper is off for an emergency--her BFF flew in from B'ham last night to be by her dying mom's bedside all night, and she's staying with my housekeeper tonight.

Then I got my new landscaper's invoice (he was this season's snow guy first). A bit pricier than I thought but still ok. He wants to be paid by Zelle (used to want Venmo). So I went to the website of the bank with the higher checking acct. balance--and got stuck in an endless feedback loop trying to send. Had to call web tech support and have the guy walk me through the process--and when I was finally able to hit "send" got to a page that said "We're sorry, but we're having a little trouble at our end. Please try later." The support tech told me to try a different browser (I use Safari, and he was shocked that anyone uses anything other than Google). Opened Firefox, only to be greeted with "Your version of Firefox is out of date." No way was I going to take another half-hour to update, install & reconfigure. So I had to exit & reopen Safari, clear my browser history and try again. So I did, and finally was able to send the money. There went an hour of my life I'll never get back. And another 20 min, trying to remember all the tabs I had open beforehand, and log in de novo for each website.

I know I should try to diet, but my feet want to take me down the block to Lickety Split for frozen custard...or to Whole Foods for cannoli. I have a freezer full of low-carb ice cream--all of which has that gross gummy texture that sugar would have prevented. At least I'm done with the Medrol Dosepak I had to take so my wrist would allow me to play my gig up in Madison last Fri. night. Today was the last pill, in the morning. The steroid made me ravenous. (And it's a much lower dose than would be prescribed for chemo or asthma). Dinner was one of those mix-in quinoa salad cups. Yummy but nowhere near filling.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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May 18, 2018 04:42PM Lucy55 wrote:

Iris ..so sorry to hear about Mike's friend ...awful news ...

Octo ..Decisions ..Decisions !!!!! You choose , but don't let BC play any role...it's already robbed us all of enough ..Looking forward to hearing what you decide !!!

HaHa .. looking forward to watching the Royal Wedding tonight ...Australians rotate between saying we should become a republic , to loving nothing more than a royal visit here -:)


Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2014
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May 18, 2018 04:53PM octogirl wrote:

Iris, I am very sorry about your friend...cancer sucks!

and thanks to you and Lucy for the words of encouragement about decisions, decisions. I like the idea of not letting bc play a role; you are right about that, Lucy! However, the decision is now on hold, sort of, as they called me and do indeed want to fly me out for a full day of interviews for the dream job, and are encouraging me to bring hubby along as well (at their expense, which I did not expect!) so he can get a feel for the region (but as I mentioned he actually knows the region pretty well, and loves it)..so...it sounds like they are seriously interested...BUT...the interview is not going to be until the end of June....more time just to think about it all.

So, we are up in Reno this weekend painting the condo up here. Regardless of whether we actually live up here, we definitely want to sell our other house soon, and if we decide to keep this Reno place but live elsewhere, painting will help make it appealing as a rental..and in the meantime, I hope to spend a lot of time with my grandkids in June!

Haha about Australia and the royal wedding...Or should that be Royal Wedding, capitalized :-)) We get pretty fixated as a country here too, I think...I won't be watching, however. Just too early in the am my time!

Hugs to all

Octogirl

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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May 19, 2018 02:22AM ChiSandy wrote:

Have to stay up till 2am to give the cats their kibble (they can actually tell time)--used to be Gordy's job but he's away at Leslie's place all weekend. Part of me says pull an all-nighter and watch the wedding, which starts at 4am here; but I have a voice lesson at noon.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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May 19, 2018 11:46AM proudtospin wrote:

oh dear Sandy, the dictates of loved pets! Passed my monthly mo checkup, sort of figure next month will include another pet scan but putting the though behind me and praying for continued good things.

My primary care started me on 50000 b12 each week, i just read online it is good for nueropathy so hoping my dumb feet may start feeling somewhat?

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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5 hours ago Lucy55 wrote:

Iris ..great news your check-up went so well !

Octo ..Happy painting ! I actually really enjoy painting ...so rewarding to see how clean and fresh it makes the home look ..for not much work ( seeing I make Hubby do all the preparation work, and the clean up ! ) or money ! :-)

Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2014
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2 hours ago proudtospin wrote:

lucy, if you need some dirty walls to paint, come on to Jersey, my balance is punky so no getting up on ladders for me!

My neighbor called me last night, seems they were concerned as i did not open my front door all day. Great to realize they are checking on me. Great neighbors!

I got a coupon for my birthday from my favorite seafood restaurant so thinking or hoping tommorrow iS nice and sunny for a trip to the coast

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+

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