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Topic: CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.

Forum: Growing Our Friendships After Treatment —

For those who have met on Breastcancer.org and want to continue growing their cybersibling friendships beyond cancer.

Posted on: Jul 18, 2015 08:14PM - edited Feb 21, 2016 12:31AM by SlowDeepBreaths

SlowDeepBreaths wrote:

I'm hoping there isn't another thread like this. I did a search and saw one for stage 4, but nothing for everyone else. My very special friend on BCO (Tomboy), and I have talked about a Crazy Town thread for awhile now. I know she will be happy I finally took the bull by the horns!!

I wrote a little story about visiting Crazy Town last year on my blog, and I received some lovely emails from women all over the world talking about how terrifying those feelings can become. I thought I would share that story with my BCO sisters. I know many of you can relate to the craziness of worrying about recurrence or progression. I think my experience epitomizes the crazy place our minds can go. I've found when I can laugh at myself, I always feel better.

"My master bath has its own little room for the toilet. The sink, shower and tub are all in the same room. At night when I have to use the bathroom, I always turn on the closet light which is right next to my sink. This way I don't have to turn on all the lights above the sink. They are very bright and there are a lot of them. I do this so the brightness doesn't wake up my DH. Being the OCD person I am, I always wash my hands after using the restroom – even in the middle of the night.

One night last week, I was doing my usual ritual and I caught a glimpse of a big blackish/brown mark on the upper left side of my chest.This thing was huge. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest when I caught a glimpse of it. I'm sure many of you will know what I'm talking about - that feeling of dread.I ran my fingers over it and it felt raised. I couldn't imagine what it could be – it was SO big. I thought, "Oh great, here we go again, now I've got skin cancer." Then I decided to risk waking DH up by turning on the millions of lights above the sink. Then I got a closer look. UNBELIEVABLE!!……it was a piece of chocolate from a cookie I had eaten earlier!!!!! Apparently it had melted into my chest and I went to bed that way. Can you imagine?? Now if that doesn't give you a good laugh, I don't know what will. CRAZY TOWN!!!"

I have many stories since diagnosis. I call it going to Crazy Town. Some of them are funny, others not so much. I usually go there in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping, and my mind wanders. There are no trains, planes or busses out of Crazy Town in the middle of the night. I also go there at times when I'm waiting on test results. I hope we can all share our Crazy Town stories. Talking about it has helped me to stay on the outskirts of the town. I've been really good about not visiting lately, but this week it's been a real challenge.

If you have tests coming up, or you just have a day where you're worried more than usual, or if you just want to hang out and chat, please stop in to visit. It is my hope we can have some fun here and get each other through on difficult days with humor, kindness and hugs!!

Much love to all,

Beppy ツ

P.S. If you've just been diagnosed, I strongly suggest starting a blog. Whether it be just for yourself, or you'd like to share it with others. It's been a good outlet to get my feelings out as well as a wonderful timeline to refer back to when needed.



Great info about breast cancer and PTSD:

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/cancer-treatment-leaves-survivors-with-ptsd-scars-031215#3


Dx 4/2016, TN mets to lung. VATS left upper lobe wedge resection. "Fall seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (FISH)
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Aug 31, 2018 12:00AM octogirl wrote:

Lucy, sending hugs and healing thoughts for your dear grandson!

Octogirl

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Aug 31, 2018 01:39AM ChiSandy wrote:

Hope this series of infusions works for you without side effects, Iris. Molly, Lucy--still praying for you and the little (and not so little) ones.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Aug 31, 2018 12:32PM proudtospin wrote:

sandy, thanks for your thoughts. Felt wooppee the day of infusion which was wed but today friday. Well i feel great. I hit the gym this morn for what is currently a healthy work out. Interesting that yesterday I had a call from hospital checking on me. Interesting as the caller ID said msk data center and they were checking how I had reacted to my new med. Seems this med has only been used for about 3 years at sloan.. I have not found anyone on line who is on this med as yet


iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Aug 31, 2018 01:30PM GmaFoley wrote:

Molly, I have been praying for Wyatt and you. Just want to send you all cyberhugs today.

Imagine God in His HUGE rocking chair, rocking you and saying, "It will be ok, you can do it. I will be right here for you". Oncotype score: 8, Rads 28, Bilateral arm, truncal LE and now Obstructive Sleep Apnea Dx 4/19/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Sep 2, 2018 02:32PM Lucy55 wrote:

So Happy ..my grandson is finally going home from hospital today 🤗...he will still be on oral antibiotics and have to go back for follow up chest x-rays and scans ..but such a relief to see him going home ..

Iris ..so good to hear all is going well with your infusions..

(( Molly )) love and prayers.

Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2014
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Sep 2, 2018 04:28PM proudtospin wrote:

lucy, yeah looks like i will be hitting up pals for drives to chemo, next is next Friday, not sure when next but hoping by then i might be ok driving myself

Still seems wierd that this med is only about 3 years old, taxol has been used for over 20 years, then again, this med does not cause hair loss or so i think

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Sep 2, 2018 06:53PM ChiSandy wrote:

Lucy, glad that your grandson is finally on the mend. Iris, could it be that this new med is not a systemic cytotoxic chemo but a targeted immunotherapy drug? If the latter, no hair loss. If another stronger experimental anti-estrogen drug, probably the same side effects as AIs, Ibrance & Verzenio.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Sep 3, 2018 09:16AM proudtospin wrote:

sandy, actually i do.not know, i am getting some questions ready for my next treatment, confess I am trusting of my team. You know a lot more than me about meds I think

Ok, gonna hit the gym for a bit, later all

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Sep 5, 2018 03:36PM Molly50 wrote:

GmaFoley! I was just thinking about you. Wyatt is still hanging in there. Some days better than others. We are exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. My oldest son leaves this afternoon to spend two weeks with his GF. He is my rock but I try really hard not to let him know that. I don't want my children (adults) to take on my problems. Sandy and Octo, so happy your DH's had benign results. Iris, you are a rock star! Hang in there and ask questions! I know you trust your team but you need to be prepared as well. Sending love and hugs to all of you...especially Lucy and her DGS.

54 years old. Chek2 mutation. Family history of BC. Oncotype Dx 13 Extensive LVI Dx 6/8/2015, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 2/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 7/29/2015, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+ Surgery 7/29/2015 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Surgery 9/4/2015 Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy 10/13/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 10/20/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2016 Aromasin (exemestane) Surgery 7/22/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 3/21/2017 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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Sep 5, 2018 04:10PM - edited Sep 5, 2018 04:11PM by GmaFoley

I wanted to share two pictures of my trip to Rwanda- It's my sponsor child and her family. I am so glad I went, even with all the extra meds and vaccinations that went with it. I am truly changed. Now back to the stress of doctor visits that I don't want to go to.

Imagine God in His HUGE rocking chair, rocking you and saying, "It will be ok, you can do it. I will be right here for you". Oncotype score: 8, Rads 28, Bilateral arm, truncal LE and now Obstructive Sleep Apnea Dx 4/19/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Sep 5, 2018 05:05PM queenmomcat wrote:

A doll of the proper color, as is only right.

Dx 5/27/2015, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 7/7/2015 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 9/1/2015 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 12/10/2015 Reconstruction (left)
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Sep 5, 2018 05:58PM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Hanging out on the outskirts of Crazy Town. The rash is finally gone

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Sep 5, 2018 06:11PM proudtospin wrote:

GMA, such a lovely trip and with all your issues, You are the strong one to me!

You know, i was thinking last night about my previous oncologist who basically fired me as a patient....it was the best thing she could have done for me. Much happier with this team, course i sort of blame my first mo for not being more aggressive with my initial treatment.

But crazy life is a good life, had lunch with a gang of gym pals, about 8 of us, sort of guess we all have issues but we get together monthly for lunch, i just drag my cane!

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Sep 5, 2018 07:21PM Molly50 wrote:

Oh Gma! What lovely, lovely pictures! You look so happy and so does your sponsored child! What a blessing to visit them.

54 years old. Chek2 mutation. Family history of BC. Oncotype Dx 13 Extensive LVI Dx 6/8/2015, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 2/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 7/29/2015, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+ Surgery 7/29/2015 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Surgery 9/4/2015 Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy 10/13/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 10/20/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2016 Aromasin (exemestane) Surgery 7/22/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 3/21/2017 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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Sep 6, 2018 07:49AM GmaFoley wrote:

Queensmomcat - I made them for her and I also made a "Grandma sponsor" doll that looked like me to reminder her I'm always praying for her. The whole family laughed and wanted to have a turn looking at the dolls. It was really fun.

Imagine God in His HUGE rocking chair, rocking you and saying, "It will be ok, you can do it. I will be right here for you". Oncotype score: 8, Rads 28, Bilateral arm, truncal LE and now Obstructive Sleep Apnea Dx 4/19/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Sep 7, 2018 08:22AM proudtospin wrote:

ok , hitting the road for infusion of new med today, i hope after this one that i am comfie to drive myself home, my buddy art is driving me today

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Sep 7, 2018 07:46PM - edited Sep 7, 2018 07:46PM by ChiSandy

Gma, how amazing you were able to visit your sponsored child--in Rwanda, no less! (As advenurous as I am, that would probably be orders of magnitude outside my comfort zone).

I had a mini-stopover in C.T. last night. I was so happy to be able to have enough L hand mobility (albeit still painful 8 wks post-op) to wear one of my fancy sheer lace Empreinte bras fastened behind my back, sans extender). But late in the evening, my cat brushed against my L breast (aka "Thelma," with the R--cancer--breast being "Louise") and I nearly jumoed out of my skin. It felt sore, especially around the nipple. I palpated and palpated--no lumps, bumps, thickenings, redness, etc. But then I noticed when I touched the bare nipple, it wasn't painful...just hypersensitive compared to the R one (which had been "tanned" and thickened by radiation). And along with the sensitivity, I felt a sensation elsewhere I hadn't in quite a while...which is actually the way Nature designed it. Turns out I'd been wearing lightly padded T-shirt bras or lined satin ones for so long that the bare unlined lace sort of irritated my nipple. Maybe if I wear a "headlight cover" (aka "nip-slip") the next time...

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Sep 8, 2018 09:25AM proudtospin wrote:

sandy, guess i was in crazy town yesterday, geez, comedy of crazies yexterday. They do a blood draw first, check out the tumor markers and stuff, then it is off to infusion. Doc was backed up with a new patient so i saw the nurse practitioner and she answered my questions. This is a new dif chemo med tnat is only used if your liver is clear and used with my other pill chemo.

The blood draw guy stuck me in my arm, sort of high up so when they went to stick my arm for chemo......they some issues. Thought i was going to do puzzles to pass the time but that messed up thi gs. Thought sure i would wake up with black and blue marks but all clear. Means those nurses are good,

Off to laundry morning

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Sep 8, 2018 01:06PM GmaFoley wrote:

Well ladies, I am back in CT - I just got a letter from my NEW (1 year) doctor - She is now moving out of state and I need to get another one. I only saw her once.. This is 3 docs in less than 3 years... I just get them to understand my situation and then they leave me at the curb. Guess that is what I get for living in a small city.. I don't want to deal with a new doc.... but I guess maybe I will find a better one?

Off to make applesauce from the apples I picked this week and grape juice from the grapes I picked.

Imagine God in His HUGE rocking chair, rocking you and saying, "It will be ok, you can do it. I will be right here for you". Oncotype score: 8, Rads 28, Bilateral arm, truncal LE and now Obstructive Sleep Apnea Dx 4/19/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Sep 8, 2018 11:31PM octogirl wrote:

Gma, that really is too bad....sorry about the need to change docs again. I bet that apple sauce is great!

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Sep 9, 2018 02:03AM ChiSandy wrote:

Gma, that is so frustrating. It almost feels like being jilted.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Sep 9, 2018 12:46PM proudtospin wrote:

gma, igot dumped by a doc, lousy!

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Sep 10, 2018 05:58PM Suladog wrote:

hey all, it's been awhile. thought i'd check in on crazy town and see what's shaking. glad to see the old familiar faces, names, avatars. sending good thoughts, wishes, and prayers to all who need them. still keeping on out here in california

Dx 6/6/1990, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/18 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 7/20/1990 Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 8/19/1990 CMF Dx 10/5/2014, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 10/28/2014 Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 1/28/2015 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/29/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Hormonal Therapy 5/30/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Sep 11, 2018 12:07AM ChiSandy wrote:

Hey, Suladog--still cooking? (Brilliantlly, as I recall)?

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Sep 11, 2018 07:19AM Lucy55 wrote:

Sula ..so good to catch up with you , and to hear everything is going well for you !!!

GMA ..how frustrating to have to find a new doctor ...

My toy poodle pup , Honey , had her first grooming yesterday ..she is 16 weeks old now ...it was like a major transformation to watch ..I will show you the " before " and "after " photos ..


I love her ..she is so naughty ..but she gives me such joy 🤗

Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2014
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Sep 11, 2018 10:01AM proudtospin wrote:

oh so sweet, i keep thinking about getting a dog, not sure on my alergies but yours iS precious

Another gloomy day in nj, tummy acting up again so later all....

iris Dx 6/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+ Dx 2/2017, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+, HER2+
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Sep 11, 2018 03:44PM ChiSandy wrote:

awww, Lucy--she looked adorable even ungroomed.

Noisy here: jackhammers breaking up the street for water main, supply line & sewer work for next-door neighbors finishing their basement; and power vacs, saws, nailers & sanders by our attic ceiling repair crew.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Sep 11, 2018 03:53PM M0mmyof2 wrote:

So mad at myself. I bought shoes for the wedding I am going to in the near future when my feet were retaining a lot of fluid from the treatments. Went to wear them last Saturday to break them in at a funeral mass for two family members of a close friend and found out they are a half size too big now since the fluid retention is gone. So now I have to get new shoes for the wedding! Should have waited until the fluid was gone!

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Sep 11, 2018 04:05PM - edited Sep 11, 2018 04:06PM by ChiSandy

Just pad them (anti-heel-slip and ball-of-foot cushions, maybe a layer of foam insole, all available at the drugstore or Target)--they'll fit fine. (Unless you want an excuse to buy new shoes).

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Sep 11, 2018 09:55PM octogirl wrote:

Lucy, Honey is adorable!!!

Sula, so good to see you. Every time I am in Sonoma I think of you, and chide myself for not contacting you...not that I am there that much...but anyway, glad you are doing so well!

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)

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